Intro
When people ask, or even when they don’t I often describe parenting as a roller coaster although I really hate how cliche that sounds. And yet, I can’t think of a better way to describe the highs and lows, dips and dives, elatement and nausea that happens in a single day when you are left to guide and shape the life of a little being or beings.
Let me give you a few examples from my day. Warning: four-year-old humor is involved. Proceed at your own risk.
In the car, where my patience is the most tried, my children sound like the shattering of a thousand plates of fine china. One is touching the other which is apparently worse than death, while the other one just dropped his lego into the deep crevices of the car and expects me to turn around and grab it while I’m driving. The cries from the back increase as I threaten to, “pull this car over”. Languishing both over the fact that I sound like a parent and that I have no idea what I would do if I really did pull the car over I decide to join them in their screams, “No more talking! Ever.”
Now I’m frustrated that I didn’t handle the situation as a mature and controlled parent would and that they didn’t listen to my pleading. While I’m lamenting my behavior I’m stunned by the sudden silence. I glance in the rear view mirror. With contorted necks and gaping mouths they are asleep and I swear I can see a ridge of light around their heads forming a brilliant halo. The last few moments of screams are instantly forgotten as my heart and every other part of me swells with love for these little people to the point where I feel as if I might just burst.
At home and well recovered from the car ride I settle on the couch with my four-year-old as we bond over classic Spiderman cartoons. As Spidey is flinging his webs from his fingers, Roman looks at me and says, “God made you beautiful.” I sit in stunned silence and just start to wipe a tear from my sleep-craved eyes when he finishes his sentence with, “I’m farting.”
At its peaks it is the best “job” in the world. I sit in stunned gratitude that I get the joy of parenting these three who I feel are the coolest people on the planet. And then there are the times when I wish it was an actual job so I could quit or at the very least, take a sick day.
Dinner time is another wild ride. Sometimes I spend the afternoon in the kitchen slowly simmering sauces and caramelizing onions to the point of uncommon sweetness. The herbs are picked from our garden and the bread slowly risen in the fridge overnight. I proudly display my dinner on the table, like my 2 year old and her scribbled drawings, only to be met with grimaces and the immediate separating of dinner into what can and what can’t be eaten categories.
Then there are the times when I bring dinner to the table ready for the assault of moans, grumbling and slouched disgusted bodies as the meal has all the signs of usual disapproval; lots of green, exotic seasonings and no pasta with cheese. So when I see clean plates and hear, “It’s delicious!” it’s enough to sustain me through some of the more common grimaces and groans. They happily devour the sweet and spicy grilled beef fleck with fresh mint and cilantro. Baron, after one bite of thinly sliced cucumber proclaims, “cucumber is my favorite.” I’m in shock as last week it was the worst. As I listen to all this I too clean my plate and marvel at the moment of a meal appreciated.
Until I can think of another visual that better illustrates the range of emotions I see and feel in one day, I think I’ll stick with a roller coaster. I’ve come to realize that while the dips are hard, emotional and trying to the point where I think I can’t handle anything else it’s then when a peak begins and I find again, the joy of the ride.
Thai Beef Salad
Serves 4 to 6
After a stint with a nasty sickness that invaded our house and roughed us all up pretty good I needed to feed my family something hearty and nutritious to make up for the endless days of soda crackers we had become accustomed to.
I turned this Cooks Illustrated version into more of a salad than is classically called for. I upped the dressing ingredients so there would be enough to coat the pile of lettuce I ate this with. While I adore Cooks Illustrated sometimes I find their recipes a bit fastidious with more steps than I have time or patience for but I’ll tell you about them in case you want to add them into your process. First of all they toast the ground spices so the paprika is a bit more smokey and the cayenne has packs more punch. The other thing they do is toast 2 tablespoons uncooked basmati rice in a dry skillet until golden. Once cooled the rice is then ground and added as a garnish and along with the cooked and seasoned meat. If you have the time or patience this step really does add a lovely crunch and deep flavor but it’s fine without it. I also left out the chile for the sake of the kidlets.
One more thing to point out before you begin: here the meat is not pre-seasoned but rather tossed with the fragrant sweet and sour dressing. For those of you who don’t often pre-plan dinner, such as myself, this means dinner is ready in under 20 minutes. I love that.
1 teaspoon sweet paprika
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
3-4 tablespoons lime juice (according to preference)
3 tablespoons fish sauce
2 tablespoons water
¾ teaspoon sugar
1½ pound flank steak, trimmed
Salt and pepper, coarsely ground
3 shallots, sliced thin
1½ cups fresh mint leaves, torn
1½ cups fresh cilantro leaves
1 Thai chile, stemmed and sliced thin into rounds (omit if you don’t want it too spicy)
1 seedless English cucumber, thinly sliced or peeled with a potato peeler
3-4 cups greens (I used a red leaf lettuce but I imagine nearly anything would be great)
Combine the cayenne and paprika together in a small bowl.
Whisk together the lime juice, fish sauce, water, sugar, and ¼ teaspoon paprika mixture in a large bowl and set aside. This dressing will taste strong but remember it’s the flavor for the meat and the lettuce.
Season the steak with salt and pepper. Place the steak over the hot part of the grill or grill pan and cook until it’s beginning to char, 5 to 6 minutes. Flip the steak and continue to cook on the second side until charred and the center registers 125 degrees, about 5 minutes longer. Transfer to a plate, tent loosely with aluminum foil, and let rest for 5 to 10 minutes (or allow to cool to room temperature, about 1 hour).
Slice the meat, against the grain and on the bias, into ¼-inch-thick slices. Transfer the sliced steak to the bowl with the fish sauce mixture. Add the shallots, mint, cilantro, chile, and half of the rice powder (if using); toss to combine.
Add a bit (save the rest of the dressing for another time) of the dressing to a bowl with the greens. Place some dressed greens on the plate then finish with some of the cucumber and slices of meat.
Serve with the remaining paprika mixture so your diners could add more spice if needed. Also, if you’ve taken the time to make the toasted rice powder serve that on the side as well.
Really lovely, Ashley. The honesty, the stories, the perspective.
Oh my. Makes me glad that mine are grown. It’s indescribable, really, how hard it can be raising children. Beautiful salad!
Mimi – Hard and wonderful.
I love real talk and in particular your beautifully crafted real talk, Ashley. I cant’ wait to give this recipe a try.
Thanks, Nicole.
I thought for a moment that you were describing a day in my life! For the record, 8 year old boy humor is not any more mature than that if a 4 year old. Beautiful photographs and a really tempting salad as well. Cucumbers are always a favorite in my house.
Seeeeeriously. I’m gonna need 16 plates of this.
i must have looked at this recipe a dozen times (i know my fam would snarffle this up!) but every time it came down to that toasted rice powder. i just didnt want to do it. now that you have crossed the recipe line and omitted it, i will follow. if you say its great,im game!
what a beautiful post. forwarded it to a couple parents i know. you are a talented cook, photographer & writer. i hope you keep sharing all your gifts with the world.
I so hear you!
You have such a lovely way with words; so many of your phrases just make me smile. Wonderful, as ever.
This is exactly what I needed to read. I sat laughing at the four-year-old logic (and humor) for at least a minute. Out loud. My own four-year-old sounds just like him! And this salad. Exactly.
You are a great story teller my friend. And I need this salad in my life. Delish 🙂
Kiran- Thank you!
What a wonderful description of parenthood and its emotions!
Ashley, you had me laughing out loud. Over, and over, and over. Roller coaster, indeed. And I so hear you!
So glad you are all on the mend, and am totally flabbergasted all your three will eat this. You must be doing something right. I don’t have one! (Me, however? I’d devour mine and their shares both.)
Ashley, You really do have a great blog. I truly love your pictures and your story. I recently changed my blog design. Visit me anytime. Blessings Always, Diane Roark
I related to this post so much. This is just like my days, every day. This is my favorite: “God made you beautiful.” I sit in stunned silence and just start to wipe a tear from my sleep-craved eyes when he finishes his sentence with, “I’m farting.” I couldn’t stop laughing.
Sarah – So glad you could relate and weren’t repulsed by my son’s humor. 🙂
Well that salad certainly looks tasty! I love serving beef with something light like a salad. I do not have kids, so I cannot completely relate to the ups and downs as you describe them. But I think life in general is full of ups and downs that leave me wanting to remember a moment exactly as it occurred at times and wanting to get away from it all at others.
Laura – It’s true. Life itself is a roller coaster. I think what surprised me the most when I had kids is how quickly the emotions come. One minute I’m so tired, exhausted and frustrated and then not 20 seconds later I’m bursting with love.
Dinner in 20 minutes? Love!!
I don’t eat beef but I must say this salad makes my mouth water!
This is a wonderful post, Ashley! I read it, after having my own roller-coaster morning with my 4th graders. I look forward to trying the recipe out!
I want this salad. Maybe even NEED this salad. Right now. Beautiful pictures! You continue to be one of my absolute favorite food bloggers out there. You are such an inspiration! Thanks!
I can totally relate to the roller coaster of being a parent. It is the most rewarding and hardest job and yes there are no sick days. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything 🙂
This was dinner tonight (minus the Thai chile, which I couldn’t find without traveling further). Maybe I’m a whimp, or I dressed the greens too early or too heavily, but I found it too spicy and too lime-y. We will make it again and go a little easy on the spice. Eel river ranch has amazing skirt steak and I used my cast iron pan to cook it in.
Brenda – I’m sorry you thought it too hot and sour. I made a note about the limes in the recipe – it’s really a matter of preference. Did you add in all the spice mixture? You just add a pinch and then serve the rest with dinner so others can add more if needed.
Such a funny post and I love this beef salad, so refreshing, yet full of flavors!
I absolutely understand the moans and groans from children at the dinner table. It is always a great feeling to have that change to it’s delicious on occasion! This dish looks and sounds amazing thank you for sharing it!
I love this and entirely empathise. My two are contantly arguing but then every now and then they are so gorgeous together and im so overwhelmed with love. Trying the recipe tomorrow it looks yummy.
Hi,
This is one of my all time favourite dishes, I feel bad ordering it time and again as I should try something new. I have just found your site, via the food awards website. I love the photos, I will give this a go at home.
I would add some thinly sliced red chilis to the top for heat and colour but besides that this looks perfect. Simple salads with lean steak make you feel like you’re not “just” having a salad for dinner 🙂
Love this recipe; and love the story!!
Wow this looks amazing and you have such a beautiful, delicious blog!
this looks easy and I usually have most of those ingredients in my kitchen anyway…. mmmmmhh 🙂
Love the recipe… but, what I love the most is your prose. Lovely words, and total honesty.
M.
oh dear lordy – i remember those days . . . ‘MOM, HE’S LOOKING AT ME, MAKE HIM STOP MOMMMMMMM!!!!’ and yet, it’s the best job ever – yep roller coaster for sure. beautiful Ashley, just beautiful and perfect in every way – story, recipe, photos
Can not agree more regarding what parenting is like… I’m a care giver right now to our sick child, and go through the roller coaster on a daily basis, for more than a week now…
Love the recipe, will try it out today, while our little sick prince is sleeping…
All the best from Europe, m.
This was a great recipe! I did tweak it because I live in NH where it is hard to get certain ingredients. For the dressing I used slightly more smoked paprika and added a teaspoon of sirracha for an extra kick. I used left over roast beef instead of skirt steak, and added an avocado. Thank you so much for the insipiration!
I loved this recipe it was very very good, I used steak from http://www.kobemidwest.com I am sure it is good with other steak as well but the American wagyu I used from JB Kobe Farms topped this recipe off nicely. It’s not too crazy expensive the shipping can run about $30 but if you order enough cuts it’s worth it. I haven’t had luck with supermarket beef and there’s no telling where it comes from so I have started buying from smaller ranchers it’s much better quality
Delicious!
I came across this whilst looking for a spicy salad – and this looks just perfect for banishing the February blues and ‘lurgy’ (is that a word you know? Maybe a Britishism…)
Just had to say that “No more talking. Ever.” made me laugh out loud and remember all the times I have hurled similar orders over my shoulder as I gripped the steering wheel ever tighter! All forgotten by the kids, of course.
Looks delicious…am going to try this out.