We sat under the walnut trees. The same trees that gave an abundant harvest two years ago when a then wobbling Ivy joined me in collecting the tender walnuts that had fallen from the branches. My friend, Steve, an incredibly talented wedding designer, had set up a large wooden table heavy with florals and beautiful edible things that ran down the middle of the table. The eight of us – my brothers, their wives, Gabe, myself and my parents sat down to dinner to celebrate the forty years that my parents have been married.

With help, I cooked a family style meal that felt fitting for the occasion. Smoked salmon on puff pastry with fresh peas in creme fraiche started our dinner. It was a subtle homage to salmon pie – a dish my mom made throughout our childhood. When mom made salmon pie we knew we needed to set the table and that we would be having a leisurely dinner in the dining room. It felt special.

Next I paraded large platters of sliced melon topped with a sweet and tart basil vinaigrette to the table. Crisped pieces of prosciutto lay on top of the melon and large, pillowy leaves of basil finished the dish. I grilled romaine then generously topped them with anchovy vinaigrette and dotted little that with little jewels of roasted cherry tomatoes over the green, wilted leaves. The main course boasted a dried plum (it sounds so much better than prune) and prosciutto stuffed pork tenderloin that nestled into a bed of Parmesan polenta. We ate while the two cows and horse watched from the field across the driveway.

Forty years needs to be celebrated well. 14,609 days of choosing to love another person, of saying I do again and again and holding firm to the commitment they promised to the other when they were both young.

“What is something that you guys have learned from our marriage?” My dad asked while we ate.

I thought for a moment but it didn’t take long for me to respond. “You’ve shown me what it looks like to strive for friendship. Both of you seek the other as your best friend. You work hard to maintain that friendship and have never grown complacent in that.”

Writing about dating my husband feels as if I’m writing a book on marriage with recipes. And as someone who has been reading books about relationships since I was barely dating, I feel up to the challenge, am loving analyzing marriages – mostly mine – and trying deeply to understand what makes them successful. What I come back to again and again is the very lesson that my parents taught me – it’s friendship and an untiring striving to maintain the friendship.

I don’t remember long conversations about maintaining a friendship in marriage but I saw my parents live it. I saw them nurture their shared interests and I heard their desire to spend time with the other. They not only love each other, they like each other. Seems simple. And it is. But it is just as easy to neglect the friendship and allow complacency to reside in its place.

Our date nights are one of the ways Gabe and I work on our friendship. It’s for us and our marriage but it also is for our children to see he and I putting an effort into our marriage. It’s easy for me to feel badly about the simple pasta that I’ve made for the kids while I prepare a feast for their dad and I. But they are happy with their pasta, or grilled cheese or leftovers or pb&j, and they see us working on our marriage. My hope is they will have an understanding when they marry that effort is needed for a relationship to thrive. That they won’t be blindsided by the difficulties in marriage and will have an example of the two of us continually building on our friendship, the foundation of our marriage.

Someday I hope Gabe and I can sit at a table with our children celebrating 40, 50, 60 years of friendship. That’s over 3,000 dates to build on our friendship while sitting at a table enjoying great food. I like the sound of that.

Tuscan Melon Salad with Basil Vinaigrette and Crisped Prosciutto

serves 4

1 small tuscan melon (or cantaloupe), peeled, seeds removed and sliced in 1/4” wedges

3 slices prosciutto

3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

1-2 tablespoons lime juice

2 teaspoons honey

2 tablespoons chopped, fresh basil (plus more whole leaves for garnish)

salt & pepper (lots of pepper)

Arrange on the melon on a platter and set aside.

Set a cast iron skillet or saute pan over medium high heat. Add the prosciutto slices in a single layer and cook 1-2 minutes on each side or until crisp. Transfer the prosciutto to a rack or some paper towels until you are ready to serve. This can be done a few hours in ahead if you keep it well covered once cool.

In a bowl combine the olive oil, lime juice, honey and basil. Whisk to combine. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Drizzle the vinaigrette over the melon then roughly crumble the prosciutto on top of that. Finish with a few large leaves of basil then serve immediately.

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Monday morning began slowly, as they often do. It was the sort of weekend that could have used an additional day to recover but I had days of work to catch up with only a single day to make that happen. But there I sat, at my desk, motionless.

“Seeking inspiration,” I began to type. No. “In need of a good dose of inspiration.” Nope.

I couldn’t even manage to write a tweet worthy of posting in order to ask for a bit of something, anything, that might encourage me to start working.

My entire body longed for the sort of internal pick-me-up that would set me on the course for an efficient day and one that would flood my weary body with the creative energy I need to thrive. Instead I opened my inbox and began sorting through the sixty unread emails, one by one.

Later that day I found myself at the grocery store. I hadn’t wanted to go but I stepped in through the sliding doors and smelled basil, sweet and softly liquorice scented. Two aisles were just for stone fruits with four different varieties of Pluots and yet another called an Aprium. I smelled each variety and put a few of each into a brown paper bag with no plans or recipe in mind, I just needed to have them. Suddenly I was reeling with ideas for dinner and many meals beyond that.

I bought 5 ears of sweet corn for the Ashley in February who will long for the wooden crate in the market to be filled with the vibrant green covered corn complete with stringy husks and variegated sweet kernels.

I knew the tomatoes would make me weak with their flesh in shades of reds, oranges, yellows and greens. It was the purple tinted cherry tomatoes that I grabbed along with a few heavy heirlooms that ended up as yesterday’s lunch on garlic-rubbed and toasted bread.

From two aisles over I spotted the figs. They are expensive, those figs, and I’ve fallen for their charm before while trying to relive the taste of the ones I plucked off the tree on some abandoned road in Italy. Or the sweet, seedy flesh of those that the farmers in pickup trucks would deliver to Spago. But most the time I end up with a sad representation of those dreamy figs and regretting the $5 I spent on a small basket of them. Not this time. In order to lure those of us who get soft at the sight of their ruby interior made even more shocking next to their chartreuse skin, there were a few whose flesh had been cut into. I grabbed a basket then headed straight for the melons with plans to replicate a salad I hadn’t stopped thinking since the days I’d enjoyed it.

I couldn’t remember it exactly so did my best to make a vinaigrette bright with lemon and just creamy enough to feel indulgent. Frankly, I didn’t rely too heavily on the vinaigrette knowing that it just needed to not out-do the produce that it would cover. Like make-up well done, it only needed to enhance what was already stunning. Just when I thought I was ready to start thinking about squash, apples and cool evenings I find these figs and want to hold on to summer until I’ve had my fill.

Fig and Melon Salad with Creamy Lemon Vinaigrette

serves 4-6

inspired by a similar salad I enjoyed at Cafe Presse in Seattle

Vinaigrette

2 tablespoons lemon juice

3 Tablespoons Olive oil

1 teaspoon honey

1 tsp champagne vinegar

1 Tablespoon heavy cream

Salt and lots of pepper

1/2 head red lettuce, washed and torn into bite-size pieces

1/2 small tuscan melon peeled, seeded and cubed or sliced

1/2 small red onion, thinly sliced

5-7 fresh, ripe figs quartered

feta

Combine the ingredients for the vinaigrette in a small bowl and whisk to combine. Taste and adjust the seasonings remembering that the melon and figs are both sweet so you want the vinaigrette to be quite bright and pop-y.

Toss the melon, lettuce and red onion in a bowl along with the vinaigrette.

Put the dressed greens on a platter and finish with the fresh figs along with some crumbled feta.

Enjoy immediately.

Prosciutto Sandwich with Arugula and White Truffle

serves 4

inspired by a sandwich from Delaurenti at Pike Place Market

1 baguette

soft butter

scant 1/2 pound prosciutto

3 cups arugula

white truffle oil

Cut the baguette and spread butter on both sides of the bread. Fill the sandwich with the prosciutto.

In a small bowl drizzle the arugula with just a bit of white truffle oil. I prefer the truffle flavor to be soft and subtle so I only added about 10 small drops of oil.

Fill the sandwich with the arugula. Slice the baguette into smaller portions and serve with the fig and melon salad.

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