We sunk into the couch letting the cushions hug us as we sorted through the day and set out to recover from it. It was pretty typical aside from the Sharpie all over the carpet and the ipad getting peed on, but even typical days need a bit of recovery and a moment to breathe it in and then let it go.

Gabe and I laughed away the day and wondered how one goes about getting pee off of an ipad. We talked about getting new carpet or rearranging the room to cover up our 2 year old’s Sharpie rampage. “Or we could just put a frame over it and call it art.” I said as Gabe went into the kitchen and pulled out two bottles from the fridge.

“Champagne or beer?” He asked.

“Let’s go with beer.” I said, already anticipating the skunky farmhouse ale and knowing that I’d just drink the bottle of champagne with a friend the next night.

Regardless of what had happened earlier in the day, tonight we were celebrating.

And this is where I don’t know how to write this. Which is weird because I’ve been writing this post in my head for over three years and now that it is finally time I’m getting all sweaty, nervous and way too excited to put words to a page. But I’ll try; with a big green bottle of my favorite Saison, a bag of Juanita’s tortilla chips and an ice cream cake waiting for us in the freezer we toasted to our book. The one I’m writing. An actual tangible book that will be held in people’s hands (hopefully all of your hands!), in their kitchen, curled up with them on the couch and in bed. People will be reading my words, cooking from my recipes and drooling over my photos printed on paper. I can’t get over this. It will be published by Running Press and edited by Kristen Green Wiewora who also recently edited, Homemade with Love: Simple Scratch Cooking from In Jennie’s Kitchen. Which is stunning, by the way.

A date night seemed the perfect way for us to celebrate because the book is our date nights. It is our story of nourishing our relationship and the food that connects us. I could not to be happier that this is the book I’m writing. It is of course a subject that I’m incredibly passionate about – well, two subjects – my husband and food. This book is an extension of the series I started on this site called, Dating My Husband. These posts are often my favorite to write and always the best to read your comments and emails in response to. How you all have reacted to these posts is a huge reason why I’m writing this book. So many of you have opened yourself up to me telling me about your own struggles in your relationships and have encouraged me by saying how much these date nights have changed your relationships.

Gabe and I have been dating at home for several years now and although at times it’s tough to fight through the exhaustion when all I really want is someone else to cook for me (sometimes there’s takeout date nights and that’s great too) we are so encouraged by what these evenings have meant for our marriage. Over time they’ve gotten easier, we’ve learned to love the comfort of our own home and enjoy the quiet hours in the late evening. I’ve stretched myself in the kitchen, trying new things in order to make these meals feel a bit different from our everyday. Now I find myself longing for our date nights at home, looking forward to them all week and eagerly working on the menu days in advance.

Our book is 25 dates set up seasonally with each having its own menu and a helpful plan to make creating this menu simple, even if you have a full-time job and children underfoot. Each date begins with the story from our date where I open up to you about our marriage – the joys, the trials and the work it takes to make it thrive. It’s an honest look into our marriage of nearly 10 years and how we fumble through life together, with three kids and everything else that’s thrown at us. It’s honest, funny, encouraging, tough and incredibly delicious.

In the moments when I’m telling myself, “I can’t do this! What was I thinking?! ME?! Writing a book? Who’s going to read it? Buy it?” I turn to the table of contents and the food scattered throughout those pages. Just reading the names of the recipes I’m working on makes me incredibly hungry, eager for the recipes myself and assured that this book is going to be so freaking good! Ah! The food is special. It’s a bit grubby delicious in the way that’s not afraid to use cream and butter and yet it’s loaded with vegetables and uses all real ingredients. There’s plenty of salads along with cocktails and desserts.


Writing a book has been compared to the process of childbirth and while I can begin to see and understand the truth in that, right now I feel as if I’ve just had the baby. I’m alone at home sitting on the couch with a soft skinned baby relying on me for food, comfort, love and guidance. Even though I’ve read through stacks of parenting books and tried my best to observe and question seasoned parents suddenly I feel at a complete loss of what to do with this little life. And so now I’m sitting here, on the couch again, with a blank computer screen seeking to put words to paper trying to make this book the one of my dreams, the one I want to add to my own cookbook collection and the one you all will eagerly cook from. It feels awkward, thrilling and unbelievable.

I’ve been that awkward new mom with three babies and we’ve figured it out. We’re still figuring it out but the point is we’re doing it. And that’s just how this book will be. Bird by Bird, recipe by recipe, date by date. And around Valentine’s Day 2015 I’ll get to share this baby with the rest of the world. I can not wait for you to meet my book. In the meantime I’ll be here sharing recipes here as I always have. There will be more dates – different than the ones going in the book and there will be glimpses into this new world of writing a book as I’m fumbling through this process, figuring it out and fighting the doubt and celebrating the triumph. After all, this book will exist in great part because of you all, it seems appropriate then that you’d journey with me through it all.

Let’s do this.

A very hearty thank you to my agent Stacey Glick. Thank you for holding my hand, acting as counselor and already pushing this book to be bigger, greater and everything I want it to be.




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Ice Cream Cake with Candied Cocoa Nibs

It’s okay to admit that Dairy Queen is the inspiration for this dessert right? Their ice cream cakes remain to be one of my favorite desserts. I love it for its absence of cake, for the chewy hot fudge and crispy chocolate wafers in-between layers of creamy ice cream and as a kid I loved the magical printed images on the top (okay, I might still love that)  There’s nothing better – that is until I decided to make my own. I stopped shy of making my own ice cream, for that I used D’Ambrosia Gelato in Seattle (the best!). You can use 2 quarts of your favorite ice cream. 

It is definitely a cake worthy of a celebration. 

For the cake you’ll need the following recipes plus:


2 quarts ice cream (two flavors is ideal)

1 cup heavy cream, whipped to soft peaks


Chocolate Wafers

adapted from Alice Medrich

Of course one doesn’t need to bake their own chocolate wafers but there is something so satisfying as creaming butter and mixing in a few ingredients in your own kitchen only to come up with a flavor so reminiscent of childhood you’ll be reaching for a glass of milk and fighting the desire to lick the hydrogenated creamy center that’s not there. 

The ice cream cake only requires the use of half of the cookies I usually bake them all but if you’d rather you can freeze half of the dough for a later use. 


1 cup flour

1/2 cup cocoa powder

1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

6 tablespoons butter, soft

1/2 cup dark brown sugar

1/2 cup sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

3 tablespoons milk


Whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt in a bowl. Set that aside while you cream the butter and sugars together until light, about 4 minutes on medium speed or a couple more minutes more if you are mixing the dough by hand. Add the vanilla extract and milk to the creamed butter and sugars.

Slowly mix in the dry ingredients until just combined. Gather the wet dough and place on a piece of parchment paper. Roll the parchment paper up and work the dough into a rough 2” log. If you are using these cookies for the ice cream cake the shape really doesn’t matter as they are destined for crumbs but if you’d like to create a uniform log for perfectly formed round cookies refrigerate the dough for 10 minutes then reform the log and squeeze the ends to compress the dough into a perfect round. Continue this process until the log is uniform. If the shape isn’t a concern just chill until firm. About 45 minutes in the fridge or 20 minutes in the freezer.

Slice the roll of cookie dough into 1/4” discs and bake at 350*F for 12-15 minutes. You want them to be quite dry so they’ll hold their crunch when surrounded by ice cream. I fit the entire batch on two baking sheets, bake for 12 minutes then turn off the oven and leave the trays in for an additional 5 minutes. Just watch and smell them closely as you don’t want them to burn.

Let the cookies cool on the tray for 5 minutes before transferring to wire racks to cool completely.

Gather half of the cookies into a large ziplock bag and break up into small pieces.

Hot Fudge

adapted from Smitten Kitchen

If you have it use Lyle’s golden syrup here. It’s deeper in color and adds a lovely subtle caramel flavor to the hot fudge. That combined with a bit of salt, bittersweet chocolate and coffee this rich hot fudge attempts to play the starring role in this cake. 


1 cup heavy cream

1/3 cup golden syrup (or corn syrup)

1/3 cup dark brown sugar

1/4 cup cocoa powder

1 cup (6 ounces) bittersweet chocolate, chopped or use chips

2 tablespoons butter

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 teaspoon instant espresso powder


In a sauce pan combine the cream, syrup sugar and cocoa powder. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat and then let simmer for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the remaining ingredients. Once the chocolate and the butter have melted strain the entire mixture to ensure no pesky cocoa powder clumps remain.

Let cool to room temperature before assembling the cake. If you are making this in advance, refrigerate until ready to use then gently reheat on the stove or in a microwave until the hot fudge is pourable.

Will keep in the fridge for 2 weeks.



Candied Cocoa Nibs

“I wonder if you can candy cocoa nibs?” I recently asked a friend and then the rest was history. It turns out you can and you really should. With sugar and heat these bittersweet little crunchy chocolate bites turn into caramel-y, lightly sweetened, bittersweet chocolate bites. If you want more of a brittle texture add more sugar. I prefer to have the nibs just barely coated in caramel as I love the bitter, almost savory flavor they bring to the cake.


2-3 tablespoons sugar

1/4 cup cocoa nibs

course salt (like Maldon)


In a small, clean pan pour the sugar in an even layer across the bottom. Over medium-high heat melt the sugar, rotating the pan and gently stirring if the sugar is caramelizing unevenly. Once all is melted and the sugar is amber in color turn off the heat and immediately stir in the nibs.

Coat the cocoa nibs in the sugar then place on a parchment lined sheet tray, sprinkle a bit of salt on top.

Let the nibs cool completely then break into pieces.


Assembling the cake:


Line the bottom of a 8 or 9” springform pan with parchment paper (you only need the parchment paper if you are planning on removing the bottom of the springform pan, otherwise you can skip this step and serve it right on the base of the pan).

Add the first quart of softened ice cream to the bottom. Spread evenly with an off-set spatula.

Top that layer with half of the hot fudge and cookie crumbs.

Place the pan into the freezer for at least 30 minutes to set up.

Remove the pan from the freezer and add the second quart of softened ice cream over the cookie crumbs.

Top the ice cream with the remaining hot fudge.

Put the cake back into the freezer until you are ready to serve.

Un-mold the cake, taking off the base of the springform pan and parchment if you used it.

Top the cake with the whipped cream and candied cocoa nibs.

Serve immediately.

Keeps in the freezer for 1 week, although the cream on top turns icy but really no one complains about it.

137 Responses to “Dating My Husband: Celebrating Our Book”

  1. Jess

    Ashley – congratulations. I have absolutely loved these posts, and cannot wait to see the finished product!

  2. Thea

    Oh, yay, Ashley! That’s so exciting! Congrats, and happy writing. (Oh, a rhyme!)

  3. sara

    yippee!! So incredibly proud of you and your faithfulness in making this happen! It will be so fabulous. I cannot wait to hold it in my hands. Here to cheer you on the entire way, my friend. Many congrats and soak in this feeling. You’re on to great things. xoxo ps. ice cream is my favorite treat of all treats. ever in the world. this cake WILL happen in my life.

  4. sina

    congrats to you! i’ve been wondering when you’ll announce your own book project. What a great topic, too! good luck

  5. holly

    When I first stumbled upon your blog, your date night posts are what captured me. I literally sat down and read every single one I could find. They inspired me, moved me, and helped me to remember to take time to appreciate and love your partner. Hearing that these will become a book overjoys me! I will buy this book, and I am eargerly awaiting its debut in 2015.

  6. Jenice

    How very exciting! Congratulations!

    I too, loved Dairy Queen cakes. This ice cream cake looks like it might win my heart over.

  7. Rob Long

    I for one, can’t wait to see your book on amazon :-)

    I eagerly anticipate your every post, and I’m sure your book will be just as captivating! I absolutely love your writing style. It has a very natural, easy flow about it. Easy to read. Easy to follow.

    Congratulations and good luck with this endeavor and this new ‘chapter’ in your life!

  8. Samantha

    Ah, this is so exciting! Congratulations. I can’t wait to get my paws on the book, and to try out this recipe.

  9. Jacqui

    A big congratulations to you! I love your dating series and can’t wait to see it in print! Also, dairy queen ice cream cakes are all I requested when it was my birthday, although your version is probably something I’d rather eat these days!

  10. Lorna

    CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am absolutely thrilled for you. You are so deserving of this – you are an exemplary writer and a fabulous chef and I shall be buying this book! Well done my lovely – but I hoped this day would come for you and it did…… LOVE <3

  11. Debbie


  12. Aida

    Congratulations! And the cake looks to die for. I am so inspired by your artistic view with food and photography. It’s what I’m striving for (one day).

  13. Mandy Cave

    I could not be more excited about this book! I can hardly wait to hold your beautiful pictures in my hands and drool over delicious food as I flip the pages and probably cry because you seem to always make me cry. Your blog is practically the only one I keep up with- Thanks for being so awesome and honest! Yay! Book :)

  14. Cindy

    We’re so excited for you! And I can’t wait to make this ice cream cake, it looks scrumptious!

  15. Clarissa

    Congratulations!!! I’m not married or even dating, but I really love that you and your husband are so intentional about connecting, can’t wait for the book!

    This cake sounds ridiculously good and I agree DQ cakes are the best!

  16. Annabel

    The Dating My Husband posts are always my favorite. This makes me so happy.

  17. Kathryn

    The more I think about this book, the more perfect that I know it’s going to be. As always, you are such an inspiration.

  18. Camille

    Yaaaaaaaaaay! I just introduced my dad to your site on Easter and I said, if Ashley writes a book, I will be the first person to buy it. I’m just sad we have to wait until 2015!

    And this looks like the perfect cake for my daughter’s July birthday, but maybe a few trial runs are needed?

  19. Louise @ Kitchen Fiddler

    Such happiness and joy to read this news! I have thoroughly enjoyed your delightful blog since discovering it last year, and I am thrilled that you get to expand your “Dating” series. Brava to you!

  20. Michelle

    That is so awesome ! i do love those posts. the honesty and your way with words as you describe not only the meals but more about the two of you who will be eating them! congrats :)

  21. saltandserenity

    Congrats on the upcoming book. I am sure it will be every bit as charming as you and your lovely blog. Looking forward to reading about more date nights. What a lovely idea and premise for a book!

  22. Ole @cookingbrains

    Wow, that’s great news. All the best to you guys. I am so looking forward to having your book in my hands. There is something so special about your blog, dishes and pictures, that I just can’t wait to buy it.

  23. Renee @ Awesome on $20

    This is the first time I’ve read your blog. Wow! Congratulations! I just started a blog two weeks ago, something I’d been secretly pondering for months. I can relate, in a very small and insignificant way, to your feelings of excitement and insecurity. Good luck, and I can’t wait to check out your book and follow your journey toward giving it life.

  24. Victor

    Congratulations! This will be a beautiful gift for many. Looking forward to seeing and reading it.

  25. Amanda @ Once Upon a Recipe

    Congratulations Ashley – I’m so excited for you and for this book. I love reading the posts about your date nights with your husband – I would love to do something like that with my future husband. (I know he’s out there). Best of luck to you on this adventure!

  26. la domestique

    Congratulations! I love the concept of your book and can’t wait to check it out! Ice cream cake is one of my favorite desserts and a fantastic way to celebrate.

  27. molly

    ashley, my friend, i could not be happier. seriously, did a happy dance in my (seatbelted) seat, reading the news. i love it when good things happen to good people. and i really love it when i get to own a piece of that goodness 😉 congratulations, onward and upward, bird by tricky little bird.


  28. robyn @ the freckled pie

    i blame you for the drool all over my computer keys. stunning celebratory ice cream cake. congratulations on your new book, cannot wait to get my hands on it and add it to my collection. xo

  29. Beth | {local milk}

    I just want to say…congratulations! I have long been a fan of your work, the writing as well as the food and photos. You’re righting has such immediacy and narrative… it’s so grounded. I love it. I often have a hard time getting through blog posts, but never with yours. And you’re photography is some of the best. Triple threat…I’m not surprised in the least. Congrats again, and no, it’s not bad to admit Dairy Queen was the inspiration. I’m forever trying to capture the tastes from boxes or drive ins and plastic packages from my youth in from scratch cooking. It’s not dadgum easy either!

  30. Jade Sheldon

    Girl, you got this. I cannot wait to add your book to my kitchen and to cook meals with my husband. We will be celebrating 6 years together and our first wedding anniversary next month!


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