Taste to remember

When asked questions about childhood I often draw a blank. I’m mentally paralyzed as I search the dusty corners of my brain seeking to withdraw stories coated in details that reveal more about who I am today. I envy those that can paint vivid images of when they stood, just barely, on their sausage-like legs. They can seemingly make sense of every year of their life and beautifully illustrate how it informs of who they’ve become and anticipate who they are yet to be.

I can barely remember yesterday let alone the days when my permed hair was tangled into two little pig tails. But when a familiar taste from those days finds me then suddenly the surrounding details become more clear.

I remember gathering around our large oak table slightly off-set from the rest of the house, when mom had spent hours in the kitchen preparing a special dinner. I never liked seafood but salmon pie was another story. Perhaps it was the mashed potato filling and the buttery crust that made it bearable for me to choke down the fish that flecked the inside. Or it could have been the cream sauce made lightly sweet with chartreuse peas.
There is nostalgia over nachos as we had a date with them every Sunday night sitting down with a giant cheese-laden platter while watching America’s Funniest Home Videos followed by The Simpsons. I found comforte in fried tortillas and my family all around.

Taste triggers those memories of time with my family, of what season we were in while eating those meals and how sometimes it was just the meal itself that remained the constant while we all grew up in various forms.

With my own struggles to follow a recipe or make the same thing twice I worry that my kids won’t have repeated tastes to draw from but then, without consciousness, there seems to be flavors that mark our time. A dish that I can’t help but make again and again while the berries are fresh or while peas are at their sweetest. In the present we can grow weary of the same taste but I can’t bare to move on to another while the season produces perfection so briefly.

In this season we’ll recall sweet roasted strawberries buried into a buttery crust with cool whipped cream acting as a blanket filling the crevices. That taste will evoke memories of a potluck where neighbors gathered and the kids ran around us with swords and loud, happy voices. They’ll remember it as their sweet reward after working so hard to build their lemonade stand with promises of many cups of the sour/sweet themselves and sticky fingers counting the day’s profits.

We’ll also have the taste of a nutty, crisp cracker with pungent blue cheese and a bright, lightly spiced pickled peach. The kids may not remember this bite as much as just the crackers themselves but for me this taste will mark memories of a picnic that lasted nearly the whole day. Of a conversation with a new and not-as-new friend that left me feeling inspired, fulfilled and satisfied. Years later, when this taste evokes memory, I’ll laugh about nearly pummeling Lisa Fain (Homesick Texan) as I profusely thanked her for her pickled peaches that inspired this bite. It’s a taste of a Summer when the kids were young and we were tired but eager to soak in the sun and these precious days.

It’s one I’ll eat again and again for sealing in the memories of this season.



 

 

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Cherry Rosemary Crisps // Blue Cheese Walnut Spread // Pickled Peaches

Cherry Rosemary Crisps adapted from Dinner With Julie  There are so many great flavors in these crackers it’s hard to pick just a couple to pull out for the sake of naming them. Call them whatever you want after you’ve tasted them. I was looking for an alternative to something like the Raincoast Crisp - which are reserved for special occasions because of their price. While this may not be a perfected version of those I was quite happy with what I came up with, as were the many people who I shared them with. 2 cups white whole wheat flour (all-purpose or whole wheat would work fine too) 2 teaspoons baking soda 1 teaspoon kosher salt 2 cups buttermilk 2 Tablespoons molasses ¼ cup honey ½ cup chopped walnuts ¼ cup sesame seeds ¾ cup dried cherries 1 Tablespoon minced rosemary (or more if you prefer a stronger rosemary flavor) ¼ teaspoon fresh cracked pepper ¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon   Pre-heat the over to 350*F Combine everything in a large bowl. Stir well to combine. Pour the batter into two greased standard size (8 1/2 x 4 1/2 x 2 ½) loaf pans. Bake until edges just start to pull away from the pan, about 40-45 minutes. The top should feel firm to the touch with a slight give. Let cool in the pan for 5-10 minutes before unmolding and continuing to let cool on a wire rack. Slice the loaves as thin as you can ¼” (or thinner if possible) then place the slices on parchment lined sheet trays. Bake at 300*F until crackers are crisp. The baking time will depend on the thickness of your crackers. Start with 15 minutes then flip and bake another 10 minutes. Continue to bake if they still feel soft. Some of mine took quite a bit longer. Let cool completely before storing for up to two weeks in an airtight container.   Blue Cheese and Walnut Spread 8 ounces cream cheese, room temperature 8 ounces blue cheese, (I like Rogue Creamerys’ blue) 1 cup (3 ounces) toasted walnuts Cream the cream cheese and blue cheese in a food processor. Once combined pulse in the walnuts leaving some large bits of walnut intact. Serve immediately or refrigerate in a well-sealed container for up to one week.   Habanero Pickled Peaches slighlty adapted from The Homesick Texan Cookbook 3 pounds (roughly) peaches 1 cup apple cider vinegar 1 cup sugar ½ habanero pepper 2 cinnamon sticks 2 cloves 2 sprigs basil Sterilize two pint jars and their lids. Set aside on a clean surface. Peel the peaches by cutting an x with a sharp knife at their base and submerge in boiling water for 30 seconds. Run under cool water then slip the skin off. If it doesn’t come off easily you can peel with the help of a paring knife or submerge in the boiling water again. Slice the peaches and place them in the jars along with ¼ of a habanero pepper (Lisa calls for half a habanero in each jar but I love the soft spice of just a quarter. Take great caution when working with this pepper. It is incredibly spicy. Use gloves when cutting or if gloves aren’t available cover your hands with plastic bags as I did). Bring the vinegar, sugar, cloves and cinnamon sticks to a boil. Stir to ensure sugar is dissolved. Pour the liquid into the jars. Tuck a clove and cinnamon stick into each jar as well as a clean sprig of basil. Cover and refrigerate. I like their flavor the very next day. A week after is great too although the peaches start to break down a bit. They will keep in the fridge for one month.
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Dating my husband: no excuses

It had been a long time. For weeks excuses were made when Thursday nights would come around. Our Google calendar would notify us of “date night” but I would simply sigh and push it away putting some other task in its place.

A couple months passed before this evening where we finally sat down to a table together, surrounded by food and no distractions. It seemed so small and insignificant when I ignored the reminder of our weekly appointments. “No, this week is just too crazy.” I would say. “We’ll do it next Thursday. What’s one week?’

The following Thursday would come and without searching too much I managed to find another excuse not to cook, not to sit down to the table and to avoid some things that really should not have been avoided.

I simply didn’t feel like cooking after a long day. I longed to linger on the couch with a good book and sit in my own space rather than connect with my partner and best friend. There wasn’t anger there or heated issues that I was necessarily trying to escape it was more a matter of apathy and choosing my own desires rather than putting the needs of our marriage first.

This week was no different. Excuses could have been created, other plans could have been made. We longed to shut down after a more-exhausting-than-usual day. I could see in his eyes that he didn’t have much more to give and I am sure he saw that in mine too. But it had been too long since we made our relationship a priority and we have been dealing with the painful effects of that.

The meal was simple. Classic burgers, a simple salad dressed with homemade ranch and a strawberry tart for each of us. I fought my crazy desires to make the buns and chips from scratch reserving that energy for my husband and our time together. Scrambling through the fridge I sought out ingredients that would make these burgers special in order to set this night apart from the others. Counting on the tart to woo us to dinner and to each other I sliced local strawberries and laid them on a cushy bed of mascarpone that snuggled into a tender crust. A shower of turbinado sugar rained over top setting off a light molasses scented breeze.

We lingered over dinner, sat in our exhausted silence then finally gave ourselves permission to leave the table still cluttered with dishes and a few remaining bites.

It would make for a more compelling story to speak of how that one evening changed our marriage. How we managed to stay up talking for hours, rekindling those late night that rolled into early morning conversations that came so easy when we were dating. But that is not what happened. In that I was reminded that the health of our marriage is defined by the small decisions. The ones in which we choose to fight through our fatigue to spend time with one another. The decisions we make to put work aside in order to be there for one another. To put the iphone down so that we can actually look into each other’s eyes. It’s when we choose our marriage rather than ourselves.

That night over burgers we did connect. A conversation that lyrically described the perfect burger (I have much to say on that subject) made its way towards one that dug below the surface to where the heartbeat of our relationship lives. We poked and prodded under there then gave ourselves the grace to turn on a movie and just be together knowing there was more to be said but encouraged by the small, yet powerful step towards intimacy that came from making the right decision.

It’s far too easy to make excuses. Those pesky little twerps that squirm their way into our lives whispering lies of a more satisfying and rewarding decision. Their grip is firm and once they’ve got a hold they are not inclined to let go. The power of excuses is only waned by the act of not using them.

We neglected our excuses the night we dated at home. Tasting the sweet reward of a more connected relationship has helped us fight those excuses since. I have no doubt we will be tempted again but we fight together for our marriage, for each other, because it is those little battles that we bravely fight that will strengthen and bind our marriage in the years to come. And near the end of it all he’ll slide my withered and wrinkled hand into his, we’ll look into each other’s eyes and continue to say, “I do”. Just as we did 8 ½ years ago and just as we continue to daily.

I did, I do and I will.

 

Buttermilk Ranch Dressing

2 cups buttermilk
½ cup mayonnaise
3 T finely chopped herbs (I used chives, parsley and dill)
1 garlic clove, finely minced
¼ teaspoon Espelette (optional, paprika is a good alternative)
salt and pepper

Stir together the buttermilk and mayonnaise until well combined. Stir in the herbs, garlic and Espelette (if using). Taste and add salt and pepper to your desire.

Refrigerate what you don’t serve. Will keep for 1 week in the fridge.

 

Tart Crust

adapted from Alice Medrich

I have made so many variations of this recipe over the years. It simply could not be easier. In fact once while teaching a tart class I had the students time me while making this recipe and I think the mixing took all of 10 seconds. In this latest variation I attempted to add a bit of nutrients as well as depth of flavor by using coconut oil and white whole wheat flour. Of course you could substitute butter but I found this version perfectly light, tender and ever-so-sweet.

4 oz coconut oil, melted
¼ cup Sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup white whole wheat flour

Pre-heat oven to 350*

Combine the coconut oil, sugar, salt and vanilla extract. Stir in the flour then press the dough into individual tart pans (makes 4-5 4″ inch tarts) or a 9” inch tart pan. Press the dough quite thin as it puffs a bit while baking.

Bake for 15-20 minutes or until golden.

Let shell cool completely before removing outer ring. This dough is incredibly tender so take care while unmolding to ensure the fluted edges remain intact.

Once cool cover the base of the crust with a rough ¼” layer of room temperature (makes it easier to spread) Mascarpone. Top the tart with sliced strawberries and a sprinkling of Turbinado sugar (dark brown or muscovado would do nicely here as well).

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Buttermilk Ranch Dressing // Fresh Strawberry Tart

Buttermilk Ranch Dressing 2 cups buttermilk ½ cup mayonnaise 3 T finely chopped herbs (I used chives, parsley and dill) 1 garlic clove, finely minced ¼ teaspoon Espelette (optional, paprika is a good alternative) salt and pepper Stir together the buttermilk and mayonnaise until well combined. Stir in the herbs, garlic and Espelette (if using). Taste and add salt and pepper to your desire. Refrigerate what you don’t serve. Will keep for 1 week in the fridge.   Tart Crust adapted from Alice Medrich I have made so many variations of this recipe over the years. It simply could not be easier. In fact once while teaching a tart class I had the students time me while making this recipe and I think the mixing took all of 10 seconds. In this latest variation I attempted to add a bit of nutrients as well as depth of flavor by using coconut oil and white whole wheat flour. Of course you could substitute butter but I found this version perfectly light, tender and ever-so-sweet. 4 oz coconut oil, melted ¼ cup Sugar 1/4 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 cup white whole wheat flour Pre-heat oven to 350* Combine the coconut oil, sugar, salt and vanilla extract. Stir in the flour then press the dough into individual tart pans (makes 4-5 4" inch tarts) or a 9” inch tart pan. Press the dough quite thin as it puffs a bit while baking. Bake for 15-20 minutes or until golden. Let shell cool completely before removing outer ring. This dough is incredibly tender so take care while unmolding to ensure the fluted edges remain intact. Once cool cover the base of the crust with a rough ¼” layer of room temperature (makes it easier to spread) Mascarpone. Top the tart with sliced strawberries and a sprinkling of Turbinado sugar (dark brown or muscovado would do nicely here as well).
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