The topic of motherhood is in the air. Just in the last week both my friends Sara and Megan wrote about the subject so beautifully. I’m thrilled to see our community approaching the subject with a graceful honesty and vulnerability. Both of them have toddlers, a stage I’m relieved to be out of, but I remember feeling the exact same way they describe in their stunning essays: Overwhelmed, exhausted, out of control, angry, scared, and alone.

It’s for these sweet friends and for all of you reading these words who may be in that stage where you are overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion that I continue this series on motherhood.

What I needed to hear.

Be a better boss.

My 8 year old falls into a deep pit of despair come Sunday nights. He is not loving school (that’s putting it mildly) so when the reality of a fresh week hits him suddenly there are stomach aches and headaches and tears and the need for pep talks and snuggles.

I started to notice that I was basically throwing the adult version of his Sunday night fits. “Why?” I thought. I’m an adult, I get to set my schedule, I’m doing work that I enjoy, and I have a healthy family. What’s wrong with that?

I realized what I was dreading was my overly critical boss who berates me all day. My boss will say things like, “Ugh. You’re already behind because you slept in. Your kids have nothing to put in their lunch – I mean, really, how unorganized can you get? When are you EVER going to do laundry? Your inbox is a disaster. Have you seen your children’s shoes? They are falling apart – you need to buy them new shoes. See that pile of clothes in your bedroom? Most people use a closet not the floor!.” It goes on and on and on. That inner critical boss berates my every action and I hadn’t realized how exhausting it was until I started dreading starting the week.

Something clicked in me and I decided that I needed to be a better boss to myself. I woke up one morning and starting applauding myself for even the simplest of tasks. Seriously, it was a bit ridiculous but something needed to change. “Good job for getting out of bed this morning, Ashley! I know that wasn’t easy. Great job on that coffee this morning. Hey, way to teach your children independence by having them make their own lunch and do their own laundry. I’m proud of you for ignoring that mess and choosing to sit and snuggle your child instead.” There was a lot of reframing and lot of taking note of the simple accomplishments that happened throughout the day.

By the end of the day I was still filled with energy (rare), I was happy, excited and felt really damn good about myself. Starting the days after I upped my boss game felt like a gift, not a burden. I was eager to cheer myself on.

Then I started to notice another beautiful effect – I became less critical and more of a cheerleader to my family. If they put their dish away after breakfast I noticed it rather than the cup they left behind. I congratulated them for doing their homework, being ready for baseball practice on time, remembering their jacket and for just being awesome.

It began with simply reframing, then I started to see other reasons for cheering and then  with the boldness I felt from being cheered on I started to take bigger leaps, I did more around the house, and felt empowered to just do more. Berating and judgement and a critical attitude made me want to curl in a ball in the corner and cry but the cheers (even though they were just from me) made me feel like I could do anything.

Now let me be real honest and say this takes intention. Even as I’m writing this I’m realizing that I’ve been a really crappy boss lately. I’ve let myself get weighed down by all the things I tell myself I’m not doing well enough. But I’ve seen and felt the difference in the cheers and am determined to be my own cheerleader in my days because life is hard and we all can use more applause.

Good job to you for taking a quiet moment and reading this.

Taking care of yourself is the opposite of being selfish when you have little people to raise.

I kissed their heads with coffee in hand and an audio book queued up then headed to the car on a road trip for one. Not every day finds me in between perfectly formed rows of blueberry blossoms with bees dipping into the petals providing a low vibrating hum like the bass line for the birds singing the melody. Wandering the fields I felt tightness leave my shoulders and creativity wiggling its way into the creaks and crevices where stress and anxiety had taken root. I came home from that day lighter, inspired and eager to tell my family all about it.

Gabe used to have to push me out of the house when the kids were little. I feel incessantly guilty for needing as much time away from them as I did. My introversion wasn’t so apparent until I had children and then suddenly I realized how much I needed quiet. Guilt overwhelmed me as I looked at other mothers who seemed to handle long days with their children just fine. I should suck it up and deal with it, I told myself. Slowly I started to learn what I needed and then ask for it.  

Sometimes in the evening I would take myself to a coffee shop and just sit. I remember one evening in particular I sat in the chair with a pen and a blank page and the words just started falling and then so did the tears. Tears of complete and utter joy because in that quiet moment I could hear myself. I found me again. It was a little reset button and then the next day with the diapers, tears, tantrums and dishes felt a little more doable.

We all care for ourselves differently but the need for it is the same. I require a LOT of quiet. I know that now and have given up feeling guilty about it and just appreciating and owning up to that part of me. People always told me about the importance of self care and yet it felt so trite, cliché and in that season, impossible. So I imagine my words here might feel the same. But what I needed to hear back then is that taking care of myself and my needs is actually a selfless act, not selfish, as it enables me to take better care of my family. Know yourself, know your needs, and ask for what you need. Can you think of a better lesson to teach your children?

This recipe is the result of that day of caring for myself with a trip out of the city. I visited Bow Hill Blueberry farm to learn more about their process and products and in this little escape I took deep breaths and came back buzzing like those bees in the blossoms.

Susan greeted me in their shop on the farm and immediately led me out into the fields. She and her husband Harley purchased the farm in 2011 but the farm itself began in 1947 making it the oldest blueberry farm in Skagit County. It’s now a bustling organic blueberry farm growing many different varieties each having their own distinct characteristics.

For those who don’t get the pleasure of experiencing the farm and picking the berries as I do (we’ll see you there in July and August!), they’ve now made their products available to ship nationwide. On the day I visited the berries were far from being ready to pick but the shot of cold blueberry juice I drank tasted just like eating blueberries in the middle of the summer.

This recipe, which happens to be an ideal candidate for Mother’s Day breakfast, uses Bow Hill’s Organic Heirloom Blueberry Powder blended with honey to make a stunningly purple, antioxidant rich sweetener for this simple yogurt bowl. As with all of their products, the blueberry powder is grown and made directly on the farm. They create the powder using the byproduct of the juice making process so what you are left with is all the nutrient dense richness found in the blueberry skins concentrated into a powder that is high in fiber, Manganese, Iron, and Vitamin C.

Beyond the blueberry honey we’re using our powder to boost smoothies, vinaigrettes, and baked goods. I also just whipped up a stunning blueberry salt which adds the most lovely purple color to everything it touches.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there. I know that for many this is a hard holiday to celebrate for various reasons but I’m hoping that you found truth in the thoughts I’ve shared today. We all can learn to be a better boss and take the time to care for ourselves regardless of where life has you.
Here’s the first post in my series on motherhood which I’m calling: What I Needed to Hear.

* This post was sponsored by Bow Hill Blueberries. As always the words, recipe, and photos are mine. Thank you so much for supporting the businesses that support Not Without Salt.

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Blueberry Yogurt Bowl with Seedy Granola Crisps

Prep 15 mins

Cook 45 mins

Total 60 mins

Author Ashley Rodriguez

The granola crisps were inspired by a recipe in Tartine Everyday. We all love the clusters in granola so basically we’ve just made a giant batch of clusters. I’ve been snacking on them all week. The egg white helps bind the oats and seeds and gives that snappy, crisp texture. Feel free to use whatever seeds and nuts you happen to have on hand.

Ingredients

2 cup oats

1/2 cup almonds

1/4 cup pepitas

2 tablespoons sesame seeds

2 tablespoons flax seeds

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 tablespoons butter (or coconut oil), melted

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

3/4 teaspoon sea salt

1/4 cup blueberry honey (recipe below)

1 egg white

2 tablespoons sugar

Instructions

Preheat your oven to 325°F. Line a sheet pan with parchment paper.

In the bowl of a food processor combine the oats, almonds, and pepitas. Pulse several times to break down the almonds a bit. Add the sesame seeds, vanilla, butter, cinnamon, salt, and honey then pulse until just combined.

In a bowl whisk together the egg white with the sugar. Stir in the oat mixture until well mixed.

Dump this mixture onto the sheet pan then press down using a rubber spatula to form a rough rectangle about 1/4-inch thick or so. Bake until deeply golden, about 45 minutes. Let it cool and if it doesn’t feel entirely crispy then return it to the oven to bake for another 5 to 10 minutes.

Serve these in a bowl with yogurt, fresh blueberries, and a good bit of blueberry honey.

Blueberry Honey

1/2 cup / 6 ounces honey

1 1/2  tablespoons Bow Hill Blueberry powder

Mix together the honey with the blueberry powder. Keeps for a long long time so go ahead and make a lot of it. It’s so beautiful you’ll want to put it on everything.

Courses Breakfast

Gabe and I used to fantasize about the day when our kids could get out of bed and help themselves to breakfast. We thought of this as a major milestone in our parenting career and had visions of us lingering in bed with coffee in one hand and the paper in the other. Parents with babies in tow take note; someday this day will arrive and it will be every bit as wonderful as you can imagine.

Weekday mornings don’t allow for much lingering on our part. There are lunches to pack, school bags to get in order, dishes from last night’s party to tend to, and the most important thing – coffee to be made. To help avoid too much chaos (some is just unavoidable) we keep breakfast during the week very simple. Most often it’s cereal. I’ll admit it. But when I have life somewhat in order cereal comes in the form of whole grain puffs lightly sweetened with maple syrup and flavored with cocoa powder. I like to tuck in all sorts of puffed grains and by the time they are coated in a deeply colored cocoa syrup the kids really have no idea what they are getting into. Their most important task during breakfast – turn their milk into chocolate milk, which this cereal does so beautifully. There are enough whole grains from the cereal, plus we pair it with an 8 ounce glass of milk for an additional 8 grams of high-quality protein to help my munchkins start the day and give them energy to deal with math class before the lunch bell rings.

My favorite part? I can make a huge batch, relatively quickly so they have breakfast they can serve themselves all throughout the week.

*This post is sponsored by Milk Life. As always, the words, recipe, and images are my own. Thanks for supporting that brands that support me in doing the work I love.

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Whole Grain Cocoa Cereal

Author Ashley Rodriguez

Ingredients

1/4 cup coconut oil, melted

1/2 cup maple syrup

1/2 cup cocoa powder, sifted

14 cups puffed cereal

1 cup puffed quinoa

1/4 cup toasted sesame seeds

1/4 teaspoon sea salt (or more to taste)

Add ins:

Coconut flakes

Nuts

Oatmeal

Instructions

Preheat your oven to 300° F

In a small saucepan combine the coconut oil, maple syrup, and cocoa powder. Stir well and bring to a simmer.

In a large bowl combine the puffed cereal, quinoa, sesame seeds, and any other add ins you may like.

Add the cocoa mixture to the puffed cereals and stir well to coat. Transfer this to a large sheet tray (or two) lined with parchment. Bake for 20 minutes stirring halfway through.

Let the cereal cool before storing in an airtight container for up to three weeks.

Pair with an 8 ounce glass of milk.

I’m not usually one for routines except for Tuesday mornings. Baron and I beat the sun up as we head off to school. In between drop off and me returning to spend the morning with 12 kindergartners reading about Zip the zebra I squeeze in breakfast for one at one of my favorite places in Seattle. Lingering over a Cappuccino I lean into a conversation with a dad and his young son. After they’ve debated the doneness of their eggs and ultimately switch breakfasts they talk of future plans; where they’d like to travel and what they’d like to see. They also talk of nothing but they do so together. The dad is engaged, listening and there is nothing more important than his son in that moment. Not even his Croque Monsier. I can’t help but smile while subtly watching the scene.

I’ve never been the one who has “the usual” but on Tuesday mornings I do. Cool yogurt, tangy and dripping off the spoon clings to toasted walnuts and a honey so floral and sweet my throat tightens a bit with each bite. There are days when I’m tempted to order the baked eggs with ham and gruyere or perhaps a butter-flecked croissant but it is always the yogurt that ends up in front of me. It’s a taste I now crave and love to enjoy slowly while silently chuckling to myself as the young guy next to me orders a Macchiato and explains to his friend that it’s a caramel flavored coffee drink. As the real Macchiato arrives you can imagine his confusion when an espresso cup with a smoky, black shot arrives with just a bit of foamed milk on top.

The sun pours in and illuminates my cup by the time I’m on my second. I may write a bit, edit some images, read one of the many books I’m well into or I may just sit and revel in the quiet moment alone. When the majority of my days are with three young and not-so quiet children these moments feel like a gift. During this breakfast I have a moment to catch my breath, linger in the quiet or the conversations of others in which I have no obligation to participate in. Walking away from that time I feel better equipped to take on the rest of the week, find joy in the loud days when I long for more quiet and already anticipating next week’s little cup of yogurt.

Homemade Yogurt Resources:

Epicurious

Food Republic

Food In Jars

Homemade Yogurt with Butter Toasted Walnuts and Honey

I realized a week is too long to wait for this taste so I determined to recreate it at home and am very happy with the results. It also solves my morning problem of not eating breakfast - which I'm known to do. The mornings are quite frantic and by the time I've got the kids their food I've little desire to make more for myself. But this is thrown together in less than a minute and packs the protein to satisfy until lunch. Of course you are welcome to skip the step of making your own yogurt, just substitute any plain yogurt. 

Homemade Yogurt
4 cups whole milk
3 T plain yogurt (with active, live cultures)

In a medium saucepan bring the milk to 180*F, or just to a boil. Remove from heat and cool to around 115*F. You can speed up this process by submerging the pan in an ice bath. In a small bowl combine the plain yogurt with 1 cup warm milk. Mix to combine gently. Add this mixture back to the rest of the milk.
For the next 5-10 hours (depending on how fast the yogurt is developing and how thick you want it) you will need to maintain the temperature between 110*F-115*F. I use a small slow cooker with a thermometer tucked into the milk. As the temperature drops I turn on the slow cooker for 5-10 minutes then turn it off and let it sit there until the temperature drops. You could also set the milk in a just warm oven with the pilot light on.
Let the yogurt sit undisturbed at this point. Once you’ve reached the desired thickness or flavor let the yogurt set up in the fridge for several hours. It will firm up quite a bit but still remain quite loose as homemade yogurt is.
Before eating I pass my yogurt through a strainer to get a perfectly creamy texture. If you’d like the yogurt thicker, like Greek yogurt, you could line a strainer with cheesecloth and let the whey drain off until the desired thickness is reached.

Butter Toasted Walnuts

1 tablespoon butter
1 cup walnuts

In a large skillet melt the butter and add the walnuts. Toast until butter browns and the nuts send off a toasty fragrance, about 3-5 minutes.
Let cool before topping your yogurt. Drizzle a good amount of honey over the walnuts and yogurt.

I love it when breakfast sort of disguises itself as dessert. Let’s talk pancakes for a moment. Serve those sweet fluffy, round cakes in the morning with a generous drizzle of maple syrup and you have breakfast . Serve something similar after dinner and it’s dessert. Let’s call them what they are – cake.

Our weekday mornings are harried with me quickly trying to stuff the kids with a bit of protein and them procrastinating over their shoes but the weekends are for lingering and indulging in the teetering line of breakfast dessert.

Fortunately our latest favorite is more breakfast than dessert as it’s fairly light on sugar, loaded with oats and topped with juicy pears whose natural sugars condense and caramelize in the hot oven. A sweet and nutty crumble nudges into the cracks and crisps in the oven creating a lovely crunch against the creamy oatmeal.

Weekends are for slowing down, taking a moment to catch your breath, feeling grateful and yes, maybe a bit of indulgence too. This recipe is one for the weekend.

Baked Oatmeal with Roasted Pears

adapted from Super Natural Every Day
Serves 6

2 cups rolled oats
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
¼ teaspoon fresh ground nutmeg
½ teaspoon chopped rosemary (optional but adds something real special)
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
2 cups milk
1 egg
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
2 teaspoons vanilla (or a vanilla bean, or both)
3 pears, cored and cut in half

Crumble Topping
½ cup walnuts (or any other nut you prefer)
1 Tablespoon butter, melted
pinch salt
1 Tablespoon brown sugar

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees.

Butter an 8x10-inch baking dish.

Combine oats, baking powder, cinnamon, nutmeg, rosemary and salt. Stir together. Pour this mixture into the buttered dish.
In another bowl, combine the brown sugar, milk, egg, 2 Tablespoons melted butter and vanilla. Whisk together completely. Slowly pour this over the oats.
Tuck the pears into the oats.

For the crumble: Combine everything in a small bowl then sprinkle over the top of the oats and pears.

Bake for 40-45 minutes, until the center is cooked through and the crumble is deep golden and caramelized. Let cool slightly then serve. Serve with maple syrup, brown sugar and a bit more melted butter if you’d like.

Because there are some mornings that call for donut holes.

Like a morning when friends come over to learn more about coffee knowing that we, or more accurately, my husband, knows a thing or two about it and that we have eight, or so, brewing methods.

Or when the sun appears for the first time since the calendar declared, “it’s SPRING!” And although it feels more like Winter than Spring, deep down you sense it’s coming and begin to arrange the rhubarb baking schedule and direct your thoughts towards asparagus and away from earthy root vegetables.

A morning when the kids play contentedly around you and the google calendar reminds you that you have an entire day with nothing to do but simply be present.

Or one that finds you urging your slow moving 5 year old to hurry up as the clock ticks on seemingly mocking your tardiness and you glance to the counter spying a few leftover donut holes from the day before.

Then there is a morning when you sit alone with your feet perched on a tattered grizzly bear foot rest and the silence is interrupted from the crackling of a fireplace and the soft crashing of rolling waves. When you write at a leisurely pace and linger over cookbooks, dreaming of recipe ideas and menus, realizing that you are doing exactly what you were created for and taking that in as the incredible gift that it is.

These are the mornings for donut holes.

Brown Butter Donut Holes

5 Tablespoons butter

1 cup (8 1/2 oz) milk (I use whole)

1 egg

1 1/2 cups (10 oz) all-purpose flour

1/2 cup (3 oz) whole wheat flour

2 Tablespoons (1 oz) brown sugar

1 1/2 Tablespoons baking powder

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

oil for frying

For dipping:

1/2 cup white sugar

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

In a small saucepan add the butter. Bring to a boil and cook until the milk solids present in the butter turn a nutty brown color. Carefully swirl the pan so you can periodically check the color of the butter. Immediately take it off the heat when you smell a fragrant nuttiness and the butter is golden.

Whisk the dry ingredients together in a medium bowl. Combine the milk and the egg in a small bowl and whisk to break up the egg. Stir the milk, egg and browned butter into the dry ingredients being careful not to overmix.

Heat 2-3" of oil in a deep sauce pan. Once the oil has reached 360* carefully drop a tablespoon size mounds of dough into the oil. Fry a few at a time watching the oil temperature making sure it stays around 360*. Fry until deep golden, about 2-3 minutes. Carefully move the donuts around in the oil for even frying.

Combine the sugar and cinnamon in a bowl. Add the warm donuts to the cinnamon and sugar and roll around until well coated. Serve immediately.

Even though they had sat in a hotel warmer for longer than I had been awake those little Dutch pancakes or Pannenkoeken (trying saying it, it’s quite fun) were something special. Lightly sweet and airy in an unfamiliar way. Usually I hail pancakes for their fluffiness, these are not fluffy at all, rather they delightfully teeter on the line of crepe or pancake.

I thoroughly examined their little holes that covered their surfaced and wandered how they differed from the pancakes that we make nearly every Saturday morning. There was no chemical taste from the presence of leaveners but instead a well-developed flavor that extends beyond just “sweet”.

I’ve never been much of a fan of pancakes. Really the only reason why I do make them so often is because my kids love them and I find it rather idealic to think of them growing up with the memory of our weekend long breakfast tradition, but these pancakes have me changing my mind.

A couple things set these apart. For one they are made with yeast. Their bubbles aren’t chemically created by the presence of baking soda or powder but instead with the addition of yeast and a bit of time. Had I been more patient I would have tried letting this batter rest in the fridge over night as I imagine the flavor would have even been better. I can not confirm this, however because we ate it all in one sitting.

Secondly, there is a hearty amount of whole grain buckwheat in here. The pannenkoeken I found in the Netherlands weren’t as dark but I’m sticking to my version. I was skeptical as I smelled the batter and thought it smelled too healthy for my liking but as they cooked up the buckwheat softened and added intrigue and depth that can’t be found in a recipe using all all-purpose flour.

Maybe it’s because I love saying “pannenkoeken” or because I love the lightness or the depth of flavor from yeast and buckwheat flour or possibly it’s because they are the perfect vessel for loads of jam and powdered sugar. Whatever the reason, these are soon to become a family tradition, one in which I hope my kids will remember with great fondness.

Yeasted Buckwheat Pancakes

1 generous cup/ 4 ¼ oz all-purpose flour

1 generous cup/ 4 ¼ oz buckwheat flour

2 teaspoons yeast

1 teaspoon salt

2 cups warm milk

1 egg, lightly beaten

¼ cup brown sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla or ½ vanilla bean

2 Tablespoons butter, for the skillet

Combine the flours, yeast, and salt in a large bowl. Gently stir in the remaining ingredients (except the butter) until everything is well combined. The batter is very wet.

Let sit for at least one hour, until many bubbles start forming.

Pre-heat a sturdy pan (cast iron is my favorite) on medium heat. Add a bit of the butter to the hot pan and let melt.

Carefully pour in enough batter to form 3-4” pancakes. Let cook until the entire surface is covered in crater-like bubbles. Flip and cook about 2 minutes more.

Keep warm in a gently warmed oven.

Serve with jam, syrup, powdered sugar, and lemon slices - if you like.

The stockings are nearly full, the gifts are either wrapped or en route to our home, and countless cups of cocoa have been consumed. There has been Christmas music playing for weeks, opening of advent doors, and readings of a humble birth. We’ve seen lights, reindeer, a Space Needle all lit up, and a camel named Curly. With only a few more traditions to cross off our list the day is approaching quickly and we all are counting the sleeps.

It’s true, I’m giddy at the thought of nine kidlets and cousins joyfully tearing into their presents, and thrilled to imagine the warmth of a fire I’ll sit next to for countless hours, but it’s this coffee cake that is making the days leading up to Christmas feel as if they are taking far too long to pass.

I made this cake last week to test if it was Christmas morning worthy. Since then I’ve resisted making it again and again. Now the anticipation is making me weak.

Let me assure you, it is Christmas morning worthy.

This coffee cake makes eating cake seem perfectly appropriate for a morning’s activity. And really Christmas morning needs no excuse to be eating cake, but this one avoids being overtly sweet with layers of tanginess from both creme fraiche and cream cheese. A subtle citrus flavor runs throughout complementing the soft bitterness from the cocoa nibs.

Let’s pause there for a moment so I can convince you that your pantry needs cocoa nibs. It wasn’t until a couple weeks ago when I myself felt no need to have cocoa nibs be a part of my regular routine. Then a packaged arrived from the kind people at Theo chocolate. There were many delightful things inside but it was the nibs that intrigued me the most.

Cocoa nibs are cocoa beans that have been roasted and cracked. They’re bitter and nearly savory and yet you can recognize that it’s chocolate. They look as though their texture could break your teeth but as you bite into them it’s a gentle crunch that softens as the cocoa butter melts. In this coffee cake they are the perfect accessory for texture and flavor and one of the many reasons that makes this cake worthy of a holiday morning.

Happy Holidays to you all!

Cocoa Nib Coffee Cake

This recipe appears a bit daunting by the sheer length of it. I know I would roll my eyes at all the steps but I assure you all those messy bowls are well worth the trouble. I am counting down the days until Christmas morning when I will enjoy this coffee cake once again.

2 cups all-purpose flour (you can substitute half whole wheat if you prefer)

1 teaspoon baking soda

¾ teaspoon kosher salt

½ teaspoon baking powder

½ cup sugar

½ cup brown sugar

1 ½ sticks (3/4 cup) butter, soft

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup creme fraiche (or sour cream)

Pre-heat your oven to 350*F. Butter a tube pan or a bundt pan.

In a medium bowl whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt, and baking powder. Set aside.

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment beat the butter and sugars together until creamy and light, about 3-4 minutes. Scrape down the sides of the bowl.

Add the eggs one at a time while the mixer is on medium low. Add the vanilla. Scrape down the sides of the bowl again then add the creme fraiche. With the mixer on low add the dry ingredients. Stop the mixer while streaks of flour remain. Finish mixing by hand to prevent over mixing.

Set aside ½ cup of the batter.

Cream Cheese Filling

4 oz cream cheese, soft

1 Tablespoon butter, soft

¼ teaspoon orange zest

2 Tablespoons sugar

1/2 cup coffee cake batter (reserved from above)

Beat in a mixer or medium bowl until smooth. Stir in ½ cup cake batter.

Topping

½ cup almonds

¼ cup brown sugar

2 Tablespoons butter, melted

½ teaspoon cinnamon

pinch nutmeg

¼ teaspoon salt

⅓ cup cocoa nibs (can be found at fine grocery stores, specialty food stores or ordered online)

Add ingredients, except the cocoa nibs, to the bowl of a food processor and processor until coarse crumb. Stir in the cocoa nibs.

Add half of the cocoa nib crumble to the bottom of the pan. On top of that add half of the batter. The batter is stiff and hard to spread around without disturbing the crumble so I find that spooning the batter into the pan works best. Add a layer of cream cheese filling around the ring than cover with the remaining batter.Try and make sure no cream cheese is left exposed so as not to burn that layer.

Top with the remaining crumbling topping.

Bake in a pre-heated oven for 45-50 minutes until an inserted knife comes out clean.

Let cool on a wire rack for about an hour before running a knife around the edge of pan then inverted. Invert the cake one more time so it’s back to the original baking position. Served warm is best but it’s also great the day after baking (even the day after the day after).