Comments on: On Motherhood + a can of chickpeas

By: Hafsa

Hafsa — Wed, 04 May 2016 14:40:08 +0000

Thanks for sharing such informative article. I really like your blog 🙂

By: Heather M

Heather M — Tue, 03 May 2016 06:17:26 +0000

Ashley, you are always so inspiring, proving motherhood can be beautiful and messy in the same moment. I think the biggest aha moments for me have been remembering kids have all the same emotions, needs, desires that adults do and yet we seem to forget what that feels like before we grew up and gained the experiences that continue to shape and grow us, before we learned to filter the raw emotions. I want to thoughtfully nurture joy, excitement, adventure, hope…

By: Tory

Tory — Mon, 02 May 2016 21:23:58 +0000

So so hard on ourselves, but it is so much harder to pat ourselves on the back as moms isn’t it? Thanks for talking about it.

By: Jill

Jill — Mon, 02 May 2016 18:04:44 +0000

Great conversation about the push and pull of being a mom and an autonomous being. Thank you!

By: Mary Jo

Mary Jo — Mon, 02 May 2016 15:32:52 +0000

Thank you. Your blog always brightens my day. My amazing daughter introduced me to Notwithoutsalt and reading it makes her seem a little closer. She is currently in Spain.

By: Margaret D

Margaret D — Mon, 02 May 2016 02:10:15 +0000

My beautiful daughter turns 22 this month, and my spouse and I will be married 24 years. He has always been a full partner in raising her, and she is a hard working, perceptive and delightful young woman now. Perhaps one of the things I am proudest of is including her in my cooking; she will still call for advice on how to cook something, but she’s quite the cook in her own right.

By: nicole

nicole — Sun, 01 May 2016 09:28:00 +0000

I really love this – and I love the feeling like we’re all in this together and doing our best and succeeding and failing every day. Which is real and normal and good. Lately I’ve been digging really deep to find patience with my 2 1/2 year old, who has been waking up at 5a, and is grumpy and tired all day (me too!) — because really, I get how she feels and it’s not her fault. I try to get my cooking and other work done during her naptime and after she goes to bed so that I am more present with her. This has been a huge goal of mine, to not only be present with her but to not resent that I’m being pulled away from work or other tasks I’d like to do. Then again, I try to make a bit of time for myself every other day or so, mostly through exercise (an outside run when my husband is not traveling). It helps keeps me more sane and thus makes me a better parent.

By: teva

teva — Sun, 01 May 2016 05:49:04 +0000

Thank you so much for encouraging mothers to share their accomplishments. We need more positivity on the internet and we also need to be reminded of our strengths as parents. I sing with my children every day and I find that it is such a joyful way for us to find connection. Even when I don’t totally feel like it, if one of my children asks if we can sing together, I muster the energy and we always end up having a good time.

By: Brooke

Brooke — Sun, 01 May 2016 00:43:11 +0000

#nofilterparent! Oh my. Yes. I needed to read this conversation. I just had my first child one year ago and I really struggle with the idea of balance. I remember my previous life and somehow I keep thinking that I should be able to do so much more in a day/week/year. I’m trying to have patience with myself as a woman who struggles between career ambition and the desire to just stay present as a mother because it’s true…In hindsight, this year flew by and my baby is starting to look like a little boy and I don’t want to miss a thing. Thanks for sharing.

By: Dominique Brooks

Dominique Brooks — Sat, 30 Apr 2016 19:32:21 +0000

I have two children — one is about to enter high school and the other is in elementary school. We both always wanted kids and because we met each other, there was not much time actually make it happen. I thought that because of some health issues I had that it would be a challenge to get pregnant but I got pregnant within a couple of months of our wedding. Now that they are getting a bit older, it is interesting to see them turn into their own people. We have our own challenges as my youngest has special needs — but she is fabulous! On top of that, we also would like to adopt a younger kid (my husband was adopted) so we have to see how that goes.

By: Meg L

Meg L — Sat, 30 Apr 2016 18:08:42 +0000

I am not a mother yet, but my students in some ways are my “children”, where lots of care and patience are put into my work with them. Thank you for sharing the ups and downs of motherhood – it does help me to re-appreciate my own mother and all the mothers out there for their care and love to their children.

By: Charlotte

Charlotte — Sat, 30 Apr 2016 17:59:09 +0000

I loved this conversation. One thing I think I’m doing well is letting my son know he is loved. Yesterday after a hard day at school, I told him I loved him and he replied, I know. I struggled a long time with mum guilt, quit a full time job and am trying to create a new job for myself but I want to be present for my boy and advocate for him.

By: Bianca

Bianca — Sat, 30 Apr 2016 13:25:25 +0000

I am in constant awe of my friend, K. We are about to be in our final year of med school, and she had a baby 2 months before we started school. I can’t imagine having a child–i could barely take care of myself during these stressful and harried times! I will always admire her hard work; really puts everything in perspective

By: Camille

Camille — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 22:33:53 +0000

What a wonderful post! I love the idea of reframing parenting conversations to talk about successes

By: Farrah

Farrah — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 21:33:31 +0000

At first I tried to be the perfect stay at home mom. I imagined it would be playtime all day and that I’d love taking care of our home and making it a masterpiece. Turns out I pretty much hate being domestic and really really love my professional work. I still struggle for balance while working outside the home. I love my son’s amazing preschool and that because of them I can focus on being present and relishing quality time with my family instead of coming up with toddler art projects.

By: Christie

Christie — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 21:30:28 +0000

Motherhood has been hard, especially as a single mom, but so, so worth it. My kid (now a teen) still considers me his best friend and still loved to spend time with me and makes me feel like I AM doing this crazy journey right somehow. Cooking is definitely one of the ways we enjoy spending time together as it’s fun to experiment and find things we both enjoy.

By: Allison

Allison — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 20:21:13 +0000

Thanks for sharing your lovely conversation. I’m not yet a mother, but it’s on the not-too-far-horizon (we hope/plan). It was always something I expected, but when we got married almost 3 years ago, it suddenly became terrifying, maybe because it became an actual possibility. I’m still recovering from the terror, and right now a lot of my community consists of young families that are struggling to find balance and to recognize what’s good (at least in the conversations I’m part of). Which doesn’t help me anticipate my future. I think in any/everything, it does no one any good to diminish or ignore the absolute true value of things s/he does well. And I think there is always something that is done well. Thanks for opening a window into just a sliver of what you both do well in motherhood, and for inviting others into that space 🙂

By: Anna

Anna — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 20:14:58 +0000

Thanks for sharing these thoughts! I so appreciate hearing the perspective of other creative, hardworking moms (so basically all moms). The first thing that comes to mind, for me, is not what I would expect or think of as the best thing BUT I have been doing my best to embrace this season and worry less about what I am accomplishing (or not accomplishing) professionally. With an almost three year old and and another baby due any day now, I know I will get back to my writing and artwork sooner than later but I have reached a place where I am okay with focusing on my family for this period of time. It doesn’t seem like something I should be proud of, but I think reaching a place where I can feel pretty good about the way I spend my days is important to me.

By: Amelie Saint-Jacques

Amelie Saint-Jacques — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 14:13:54 +0000

What a wonderful post! My son is two, so this is a phase where he’s testing limits and pushing all my buttons and it’s hard for me (much harder than soothing a crying infant). I feel like I’m doing a good job when I can keep my cool, or take some time to think of a better way to meet his needs if what I’m doing isn’t working. I also feel like a good mom when I go outside my comfort zone for him – I’m an introvert and hate driving, but every week I drive him to the pool and swim with him and the other moms, singing songs and all. He enjoys swimming so much now and has made so much progress, so it’s all worth it!

By: Kayleigh

Kayleigh — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 10:38:20 +0000

You guys are inspiring and encouraging. It’s so easy to focuson the ‘ failures ‘ of motherhood. I have three littles. My favourite thing is to take them for walks every day, and be silly with them. They’re each so funny, and have their own little quirks. They’re so interesting, when I take the time to actually listen to them