First of all I need to thank you all for the incredible response from my last post. I have read every single comment and email and they have been like a breath of fresh air. I struggled to publish that post but you all have once again proven to be an incredible community that encourages and lifts us up. So thank you. I apologize for not responding to the emails and comments. It continues to be a bit of a difficult season for me and my family but I have seen so much amazing goodness come out of it already. We are covered in grace and are so thankful for your words and continued support.

________

Of course much can be said on the beauty of sharing a meal with dear family and friends as laughter mingles with the scents of soft spices drifting through the air. Where wine glasses clink over riveting conversation and dishes linger on the table far after the meal is done. There is also beauty in cooking for one.

Perhaps it is because for me this is a rare occasion – one to be celebrated and remembered. It is a time when my cravings and food adversities (of which there aren’t many) are the only ones to consider. It is a time when the pasta can be covered in little green flecks and I won’t hear the moanings from three little ones each one meticulously trying to pluck the herbs off their pasta.

My meals for one are simple and light, often composed of many small tastes and they are consumed in silence.

This pasta is far too simple for a formal recipe so instead I’ll channel my inner Nigel Slater (I wish) and contain its ingredients and basic method in paragraph form.

First you’ll set a pot of water to boil with enough salt in it that one taste conjures up images of those horrid accidental times of ingesting a bit of sea water. If you didn’t grow up around the ocean – the water should taste salty. Cook enough spaghetti noodles for one. While the noodles boil mince a handful or two of fresh herbs. In this particular batch I used chives, mint, dill, thyme, parsley and purple basil. Whatever you have on hand will do nicely. Add to that a finely minced half of a garlic clove and about a teaspoon or so of finely grated lemon or lime zest. In total you want to have about two tablespoons of this herb mixture.

Toss that with the hot pasta. Over the top you can grate Pecorino or Parmesan or dot the pasta with a bit of Feta or Chevre. Or just leave it as is. On this particular day the sun was shining and the temperature outside didn’t seem quite fitting for a big bowl of hot pasta. So before I tossed the pasta with the herbs I cooled them off with cold water then tossed in the herbs and had a dish that resembled more of a pasta salad.

Warm or cool it is an incredibly simple dish that satisfies, particularly if eaten alone.

For another idea of what I like to eat while dining alone check out this cheese plate I created for Wisconsin Cheese. Also, check out CheeseCupid.com for a great tool on pairing cheese with drinks. Somehow I managed to include chocolate with my cheese. I may have a problem.

*Disclaimer – I was paid to produce the content for Wisconsin Cheese. Words and images are, as always, my own.

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I resisted the urge to “style” my mess and actually my kitchen has seen much worse. Also, since I’m being very honest, I originally had two small images of my messy kitchen in this post but realized that that needed to be big. Breathe.

A friend encouraged me to take a picture of my messy kitchen for you all to see. We’re no longer friends. (That’s not true).

After the initial terror of the idea I started to see her point then finally came around to agree with her completely. There are a number of reasons why she was encouraging me to do this.

First of all she admitted to me her thoughts the first time she saw my kitchen.

“This is where she cooks everything?”

My kitchen has no pantry to store the assortment of flours and sugars I would like to keep. There isn’t an expansive island to knead doughs and gingerly work cold butter into flour. There is very little counter space and half of the space there is is taken up with coffee equipment. Priorities.

This isn’t me complaining. This is just how it is. Of course there are things I would like to have in a kitchen that I don’t have currently but this space works and I am grateful for it.

So my friend thought you should all see the space as well. More specifically the space in the state of disarray in which it is often found. Dishes from lunch that happened hours ago still sitting. Items that should be tucked away into the overcrowded cupboards clutter the countertop and take up much of the coveted space needed for mixing, rolling and sanity. She wanted you all to see a bit more of my reality. She wants you to know that my kitchen is small, it’s often a mess and also that the cake from my last post took three attempts one of which included me dribbling chocolate across my house because of a cake pan that had acquired holes which I hadn’t noticed until after I poured the liquid into the pan.

It’s not just her. I want you to know this too. I don’t put myself and my work onto this space to be elevated in any sort of way. My fear is that you would use any part of my life as you’ve imagined as an excuse to not create the recipes on the site or to create in general.

“She’s got time.” “She’s got space.” “She’s got three perfectly behaved children who clean for her, massage her feet and actually are the ones making the recipes on the site.”

I may have more time than some, I might also have less. I may have more space than some or I may have less. And well, the last one was just put there so I could laugh while I imagined that scene.

The truth is my day is always a series of choices. Right now I’m choosing not to clean the kitchen so that I can spend some time with you in this space. Also, I’m choosing to not do laundry when really now would be a perfect time because except for this fly buzzing around me, currently the house is quiet.

I’ve been asked numerous times, “how do you do it all?” I sort of love and hate that question. I love it for a brief moment because sometimes I can be grossly prideful. So the fact that I have somehow painted a picture of myself as having figured it all out seems pretty great. And then I think, that’s horrible. That poor young mother or person in the cubicle working long days thinks that I eat chocolate and frolic in the garden with my well-behaved children all day long.

I have been that young mother mindlessly peering into other people’s “lives”. With unrealistic brush strokes I painted a picture of their lives as some sort of idyllic reality that I wanted rather than the messy life that I was living. Logically I know that everyone’s reality includes some messes and really we don’t want to see that all the time but every once in awhile I think it’s refreshing to see the mess and humbling to share it.

That dim photo of items out of place – a chaotic mess of life and our reality is also there to fill in for the words that I can’t find yet. This space has been silent for longer than I normally allow but I haven’t been able to put myself here as my mind has been in the same state as my kitchen. Dark, cluttered and despondent.

The beauty of darkness is that it is often there where life’s most valuable lessons tend to hide. Because of the lack of light the lessons are hard to spot, but when you start to see them, that’s when joy becomes part of the suffering.

In the midst of this season of darkness I’m reminded of the power in vulnerability. A humbling lesson as I realized again and again that I can not battle this alone but what has come from that vulnerability is greater love, deeper respect and a refining of who I am.

When listening to Ruth Reichl speak last weekend at a conference I attended and spoke at, she was urging us to return to the home table and to invite people to join you there. Sharing a meal in a restaurant is a completely different experience than opening up your home to others. “When you invite someone into your home you become vulnerable.” She said. “You are saying this is who I am.”
She fears we’ve lost that kind of intimacy and we are not the better for it.

As with any sort of vulnerability, when I think to invite others into my space the wave of excuses hit with great force. “My home is too small. They’ll be uncomfortable. The kids will be too loud. I don’t have matching dishes. They’ll see the stains, the mess, the clutter.

They’ll know me in a way I’m not sure I’m ready to be known.”

It’s an exhausting work trying to hide oneself. A work that I don’t care to excel in. For the sake of greater love and for the hope of guiding someone else in their darkness I become vulnerable. It’s an act of faith. It’s removing the band-aid while the wound is still fresh trusting that the air will help in the process of healing.

Green lentils with arugula and asparagus
inspired from Plenty: Vibrant Recipes from London’s Ottolenghi
serves 4

The past several Sundays have found me at the Farmer’s Market with the sun beaming on my face and my smile radiating back. The offerings are still a bit slim but each week I faithfully return I am rewarded with a bit more abundance. Arugula and asparagus are always a must, beyond that it’s what else I can fit in my hands while still be able to manage the three littles. This recipe highlights the season so beautifully. It’s quick and easy and a perfect option to serve when opening up your home and sharing a meal.

1 cup green lentils
4 cups arugula
½ cup parsley
½ cup olive oil
1 garlic clove, peeled
1 Tb red wine vinegar
1 teaspoon lemon zest
1 bunch asparagus
salt and pepper
pecorino (or parmesan)
lemon wedges

Wash the lentils then simmer in a saucepan covered with plenty of water. Simmer until tender but not mushy – about 15 minutes. Drain any remaining water after cooking.

While the lentils cook put half the arugula, the parsley, oil, garlic, vinegar, lemon zest and a hearty pinch of salt and pepper in the bowl of a food processor or blender. Process until smooth. Taste and add more salt if needed or a squeeze of lemon.

Add this pesto to the warm lentils then set aside. Taste again and add salt if needed, most likely it will need it.

Roast or grill the asparagus until charred in places and cooked through. Cut into 1-2” inch pieces. (I cut off the woody part of the asparagus then toss with olive oil, salt and pepper then place on a hot grill pan for about 2-3 minutes per side).

Toss the asparagus and remaining arugula with the lentils. Top with plenty of shaved pecorino and serve with lemon wedges.

You can serve this dish warm or room temperature. A perfect, healthy spring dinner, I’d say.

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If I could to speak to myself on the day of my wedding over eight years ago, this is what I would say…

I understand you’re a bit scared. You’re young and you are about to make a decision that will affect the rest of your life. You think it’s the right choice, you think you love him but what really is love? I know that’s what you are thinking because I am you.

For months leading up to the wedding day you’ve been asking everyone who would listen to help you understand what love really is. Sure he gives you butterflies and you can’t imagine not spending every day with this man. You’ve lost countless hours of sleep just clinging to his presence and not wanting to waste a moment with him. But is that really love? Is that enough to sustain a marriage that will survive moves across state lines, financial stress, young children, loss, and much more that we have yet to experience?

In case you do read this you should know that you made the right decision. But you didn’t really know love. The love you felt on the day you stared at him down the aisle, anxiously awaiting that glimmer in his eyes as he saw you for the first time in your wedding dress and the last time you weren’t his wife, that love was just the start.

At the time you thought love was how he made you feel. You questioned love the moment the butterflies didn’t flutter as rapidly as you thought they should. You resented him for shining light on parts of you that were selfish and gross. He didn’t complete you in the way you expected him to and surprisingly he didn’t completely understand you from the moment you both said, “I do.”

Love isn’t simply about how he makes you feel. I know that now. Love is a choice and love is action.

Now you realize that love is him warming up the espresso machine for you in the morning so it’s ready when you wander sleepily down the stairs. Love is how he saves the last scoop of ice cream for you, every time. Love is the way he wrestles with your sons (you have two and I can’t wait for you to meet them) after a long day of work. Love is the way he dances with your daughter (she’ll make you melt with each glance into her big brown eyes).

You slowly start to understand that when your dad told you, “Love is a choice”, he wasn’t being as unromantic as you first thought. You’ll realize that each day you have a choice. You can either choose to love Gabe and allow your feelings and actions reflect that or you can choose to allow the daily difficulties and his imperfections (yes, I know you can’t see it now, but he’s not perfect – and neither are you) to become a disease in the marriage.

Some days are better than others but over time you’ll realize that praying for and encouraging him is more useful than resenting him. You’ll start to see all the things he does for you and your family rather than focusing on what he doesn’t do. And you’ll realize that on the day you married him you really had no idea what love was and that eight years later you love him in way that you never thought possible.

It’s going to be hard. You’ll find out things about yourself that you really wish could have stayed hidden and yet, through it all you slowly become a better person. One that really knows and understands love – at least I hope that’s what happens, I’m not quite there yet.

What I do know is that no matter how tired you are, no matter how much you would just rather curl up on the couch and tune out the noise of the day, every once in awhile you need to put the kids to bed a bit earlier and ask your husband out on a date, even if that date happens at home.

You’ll plan the meal with great excitement and get inspired staring at the vibrant produce at the store while Ivy (that’s your daughter) tries her best to pull everything off the shelves and into the cart. You’ll spend the next 7 hours, on and off, preparing for a meal that you and your husband will devour in 10 minutes. He’ll appreciate every minute of your effort and you’ll love every chop of an onion and knead of the dough. You remind yourself of this moment and how many times before you’ve learned the same lesson – choosing him over your own selfish desires is what love is all about.

Menu
orange and avocado salad with shallot vinaigrette
pulled pork with a fennel, apple and raddicchio slaw on a sesame bun
piment d’espelette roasted new potatoes
caramel walnut tart with whipped creme fraiche

Plan
To eat around 8:00 pm the pork should be in by 1:30pm at the latest. So plan to put the rub on the pork that morning or the night before.
The tart and both dressings can be made the day before.
I pulled the pork out of the oven for close to an hour and set it over very low heat on the stove top while I roasted the potatoes and baked the buns.
When the pork was nearly finished we made the orange salad and enjoyed that as our first course. As the pork cooled, I finished up the cole slaw.
All that and it was gone in under 10 minutes but we’ve been eating incredible left overs for days.

Orange Salad with Avocado and Shallot Vinaigrette

1 Tbl chopped shallot
3 Tbl extra-virgin olive oil
1 Tbl fresh lemon juice
¼ teaspon salt
fresh pepper, to taste
2 large oranges
1 avocado
2 Tbl thinly sliced red onion (optional)
1 Tbl chopped Italian parsley

Combine the first five ingredients in a small bowl. Whisk together, taste, and adjust salt and pepper as needed.
Cut the peel away from the orange then slice in ¼” rounds. Arrange on two separate plates, top with sliced avocado and red onion, if using. Spoon a bit of the dressing on each plate. Top with fresh Italian parsley and serve immediately.

Pulled Pork Sandwiches with Fennel, Apple, and Radicchio Slaw

Pork Rub
for a 5-7 pound pork shoulder

3 garlic cloves, peeled
¼ teaspoon cayenne
3 Tbl paprika
3 Tbl kosher salt
1 Tbl brown sugar
2 teaspoons ground cumin
3 Tbl yellow mustard

In a morter and pestle or a food processor, mince the garlic then add the spices and salt. Stir in the mustard. Rub this over the pork and let sit for at least 1 hour or overnight in the fridge.

After the pork has bathed in the rub place in a large roasting pan and roast at 300*F for about 6 hours or until falling away from the bone.

Barbeque Sauce

1 cup apple cider vinegar
2 Tbl yellow mustard
½ cup ketchup
1 teaspoon cayenne
1 teaspoon kosher salt
½ teaspoon fresh black pepper
3 garlic cloves
1 small shallot, chopped
a few drops of natural hickory smoke

Combine all the ingredients in a medium sauce pan and simmer for 10 minutes. Set aside.

Once pork has finished roasting remove from the pan and let rest for at least 10 minutes. Add ⅔ of the bar-b-que sauce to the juices left in the roasting pan and scrape up any crusted on bits on the bottom of the pan. Simmer gently while the pork rests.
Using two forks and possibly your hands too, pull apart the pork into bite-size shreds.
Add the pulled pork into the sauce. Taste and add more sauce if you think it needs it or reserve remaining bar-b-que sauce to serve with the sandwiches.

On a freshly sliced sesame bun add a good amount of pork then top with the fennel slaw. Enjoy immediately.

Fennel, Apple and Radicchio Slaw

½ cup creme fraiche
2 Tbl mayonnaise
2 Tbl olive oil
1 Tbl apple cider vinegar
½ teaspoon kosher salt
1 Tbl lemon juice
3 green onions, sliced
1 fennel bulb, julienned
1 apple, julienned
1 cup thinly sliced radicchio

In a small bowl combine the first six ingredients. Set aside.
In a medium bowl add the fennel, apple, green onions, and radicchio. Toss with about ¼ cup dressing to start. Taste then add more as needed.
Can be made up to an hour in advance. It keeps for a day – perfect for leftovers – but doesn’t look nearly as fresh and starts to droop a bit.
The dressing could be made up to 3 days in advance.

Sesame Seed Buns
makes 9-12 buns
The point of a date night is not to exhaust yourself before the date actually happens, so I realize that after roasting a pork shoulder for 7 hours many may feel that making your own buns is just asking too much. I’m okay with that. I am, however, a bit crazy and can’t get enough of playing in the kitchen, especially when doughs are involved. So I’ve included the recipe for those who are like me or if there comes a day when you do decide to make your own buns.

2 teaspoons yeast
1 ⅓ cups warm milk
2 Tbl honey
4 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 egg, lightly beaten
4 Tbl (1/2 stick) butter, soft
2 Tbl sesame seeds
1 egg, lightly beaten (egg wash)

In the bowl of a stand mixer, whisk together the yeast, milk and honey. Let stand for 10 minutes as which point you should see lots of bubbles and some definite growth happening.
Add flour, salt, and egg and mix with the dough hook to combine. While the mixer is running on medium-low add the soft butter 1 tablespoon at a time. Scrape down the bowl then continue to mix for 8-10 minutes.
Cover with a dish towel or plastic wrap and let double, about two hours.
Roll the dough into tight balls estimating that you will get between 9-12 buns. This is just a bit under ½ cup of dough per bun.
Place on a parchment lined sheet tray (you may need two if you don’t want them to touch at all) then cover with plastic wrap and let double again, about 1 ½ hours.
When the buns are just about doubled, pre-heat the oven to 400*. Brush the buns with the additional egg and top with sesame seeds.
Bake for about 20 – 25 minutes, until deep golden on top and bottom.
Let cool on a wire rack to prevent steaming.

Piment d’espelette Roasted Potatoes
It’s worth the online order or visit to a specialty store to gather this ingredient. Similar to paprika without the intense smoke and a stronger, fresh heat in place of it. A dear friend brought this back from France and I can’t help but put it in nearly everything.
If you can’t find it you could use paprika or simply do a perfectly delicious garlic roasted potato.

1 ½ – 2 pounds new potatoes, cut in rough ½” pieces
1 ½ Tbl extra-virgin olive oil
1 ½ teaspoons piment d’espelette
¾ – 1 teaspoon kosher salt

Pre-heat your oven to 400*F. Combine all ingredients and roast on a parchment lined sheet tray making sure the potatoes are not too crowded or piled on top of one another. Roast until interior is tender and the exterior edges are crispy and deep golden in places, about 40-50 minutes.
–

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I really just want you to have this. I could make you wait another day until I can successfully start AND finish this post with a tale or a thought that might actually make sense OR I could let you have it now. And I really just think you need this as soon as possible.

You should know that I gave it a valiant effort. After tonight’s attempts I now have a Google Doc entitled, “Failed Blog Entries”. Because you never know – one days failure might be another’s success.

This is just the sort of meal that belongs in January – heavy on vegetables, balancing December’s cookies and February’s chocolate, with vibrant flavors and comforting heat.  You know what I realized today? January is nearly half-way through, so what I’m saying is we really don’t have another day to spare. Who knows, the way the first half of this month has gone, you may be waiting a very long time.

So without further ado or with any ado for that matter have some kale.

Jalapeno and Lime Marinated Kale Tostada

Serves 2 very hungry people or 4 less hungry

With the aid of our juicer and this recipe we’ve been going through kale faster than we can remove those hearty stems. After a lazy soak in lime juice and spice the kale surrenders a bit of its heft while retaining a freshness that is so often lacking in food this time of year.

If you don’t care about skimping on some calories and mess you can fry the tortillas in a shallow pan and a bit of oil around 360*F until golden brown.

4 flour tortillas

2 teaspoons olive oil

Brush 4 tortillas with butter or olive oil, sprinkle with salt then bake at 400* for 10 – 12 minutes or until completely crisp.

Kale Marinade

¼ cup fresh lime juice

2 T olive oil

½ jalapeno, seeded and finely chopped

¼ cup cilantro

¼ teaspoon salt

½ teaspoon ground cumin

4 cups kale, washed, thick ribs removed and roughly chopped

Mix first 6 ingredients in a large bowl. Add the chopped kale and toss to coat. Let sit for 30 minutes.

Black Beans

2 teaspoons olive oil

2 garlic cloves

1 T shallot, finely chopped

pinch salt

1 can black beans, rinsed and drained

In a small sauce pan saute garlic and shallots in oil over medium heat until just fragrant. Add beans and simmer about 5-7 minutes, until soft and warmed through. Taste and add salt if needed, keeping in mind the kale and Cotija add a brightness and salt as well.

Assemble

1 avocado, roughly cut

1/4 cup crumbled Cotija (available at Mexican markets or many fine grocery stores. If you can’t find it you may substitute Feta or Chevre)

Place baked tortilla on plate, top with warm beans, marinated kale, chunks of avocado and about 1 Tablespoon crumbled Cotija cheese.

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An in home date is not equal to that of one usually including fancy shoes (or shoes at all) and red lipstick. There is something about leaving the house and all the responsibilities tied to it that frees you up to talk about the things in life that extend a bit deeper than normal dinner time conversation when three children under the age of 5 are present.

What an in home date is good for is providing opportunities for connection (and great food) when leaving the house isn’t an option. It allows for more dates without making a huge dent in the family budget and if you have children it’s great for them to see you making an effort to continue to build the relationship with your spouse.

Gabe and I have several in home dates under our belts and there are a few things I’ve learned that help distinguish a date evening from one in which flying food and fart jokes are present (not welcomed, but they’re there).

First of all I like to start the meal off with a cocktail. An ordinary dinner in our house does not begin this way instantly reminding us that this meal is different. Also, I find that cooking becomes more of a gift and less of an obligation when a cocktail is in hand. The lingering voices of children fighting sleep seem somehow muted when sipping on a fine beverage.

Our date night food is different. Most days my meal planning begins around 4:45 when my kids are ready for dinner at 5:00. Our everyday food is simple, quick, healthful, and easy. When date nights are approaching you’ll find me amid a pile of cookbooks eagerly anticipating a dish, ingredient or flavor that will suddenly inspire our meal. Creating the menu is the first step in distinguishing this evening apart from others. I choose dishes that comfort while still giving us the sense that this is special. The meal is usually three courses (four if you include the cocktail as a substantial course).

With the menu planned and cocktail in hand I begin to cook. I’m not rushed or dealing with crying children tugging at my apron strings. I enjoy the process. My husband sits nearby ready to help but also keeps his distance knowing that I tend to be a bit controlling in the kitchen and often prefer to do it alone. He appreciates his drink and watching his wife in her element. I toast the spices, stir the sauce, and plate the salad pulling him into the process by tasting the flavors that excite me almost to tears.

The meat rests while we sit down to enjoy a light salad. Voices are faint but can still be heard from upstairs. By the time we are ready for the main course the house is quiet and for a moment we feel alone, as if we have reserved a restaurant to ourselves.

With a sharp knife and an eager appetite I slice through the perfectly cooked pork tenderloin. It’s juices flow into the Gorgonzola polenta only adding to the complexity. Conversation nearly ceases while we savor not only the meal but also the silence.

As the roasted grapes, lightly floral of rosemary, are served over store-bought (getting a little help from the store is perfectly acceptable and encouraged in order to make date night meal prep stress-free) ice cream we’ve settled into each other’s company feeling the freedom to steer conversation from the logistical to the variety in which it leaves us reminded of why we fell in love.

The kitchen remains mostly a mess as the priority is connecting not cleaning. Our laptops are used only if watching a movie is in order and our phones are only welcomed if we are photographing the meal. It’s us, good food and great company.

Even when the day exhausts us to the point where even carrying on a conversation feels a chore, we continue to date at home as we realize the importance of building that habit. The reality is there are days when cooking a three coursed meal after a long day with the kids feels more like torture than delight. In those times there are a few options. 1. We’ve had date nights with just a cocktail and dessert course. Equally lovely and much less work. 2. Take-out is always an option, just be sure to include some element that signifies this night set apart. 3. Pour a glass of wine and power through. I find that once I start cooking the process provides me with more energy and joy than when I began.

The most important thing about date nights is to do them. I feel completely inadequate in saying this as we tend to let almost everything else in life take more precedence than dating one another. But what I can say is that when we are faithful in this act our marriage is rewarded. We end the evening feeling more connected, a stronger team, and more in love. In this season in life, with young children, it’s so easy to set our marriage aside. The kids whine much louder than Gabe does so it’s easy to give them everything I have leaving nothing for my husband. I’ve seen the destruction in this and I know that one of the most important things I can teach my children is what a healthy marriage looks like. So we date and we are much better for it.

Applejack Spritzer

adapted from Gourmet 1985

Makes 1

This is a simple cocktail, light and faintly fizzy. Perfect for when you want something with cool weather flavors while still being pleasantly refreshing.

2 shots apple juice

1 shot applejack

1 tbl lemon juice

splash soda water

ice

In an highball mix the juice, apple jack and lemon juice. Add ice then soda water to top. Garnish with a slice of lemon if you wish.

Pear with Fennel, Walnuts, Parmesan and Balsamic

adapted from The Zuni Cafe Cookbook

Serves 2

With little more information than the name of this recipe you can make this salad. What’s magical is in the unique combination of flavors. It seems as if there might be too much happening on one plate but I assure you that each ingredient needs the other in order to make this salad sing.

1 bosc pear

1/2 fennel bulb

Parmesan

aged balsamic

toasted walnuts

Using a mandolin or a very sharp knife slice the pear and fennel very thin. Arrange on two plates then finish with shaved Parmesan, a drizzle of balsamic and a few toasted walnut halves.

Pork Tenderloin with Fennel

adapted from Molly Stevens’,All About Roasting

Serves 3-4

1 lb pork tenderloin

2 tsp fennel seeds, toasted

3 tsp fresh thyme, chopped

1 tsp salt

¼ tsp black pepper

2 Tbl olive oil

2 fennel bulbs, thinly sliced

2 garlic cloves, minced

½ cup white wine

2 Tbl fennel fronds, chopped

1 Tbl butter, room temperature

Combine the fennel, thyme, salt and pepper in a small bowl. Pat the pork dry then rub on seasoning mixture. This can be done 4-24 hours in advance if covered and refrigerated. Remove the pork 30 minutes prior to roasting to allow it to come to room temperature. Pre-heat the oven to 350*F. In a large oven-proof pan or skillet, heat the oil and the pan until very hot. Carefully add the pork making sure you hear plenty of sizzle as it hits the hot pan. Do not touch for two minutes so that a nice deep crust forms. Sear all sides of the tenderloin, a total of 6-8 minutes. Transfer the pork to a plate.

On medium heat, add the fennel to the pan. Season with salt and pepper and saute until brown in spots, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and saute briefly. It will appear dry. Add the wine then cover and lower the heat to medium-low. Simmer until the fennel is crisp-tender, about 12 minutes. Remove the pan from the heat and add the pork back to the pan. Smear the butter over the tenderloin then return to the oven to roast until the internal temperature in the thickest part is 140-145*F, about 18 minutes. Allow the meat to rest for 5-8 minutes then slice ½ to 1 inch thick slices. Taste the fennel for seasoning.  Serve the pork over the Gorgonzola polenta then top with roasted fennel and fresh fennel fronds. Drizzle with any remaining juices.

Gorganzola Polenta

method adapted from The Zuni Cafe Cookbook

Serves 4, generously

Judy Rogers, the author of The Zuni Cafe Cookbook, writes with such authority that I can’t help but want to do everything just as she says. And her implicit instructions on cooking polenta was no exception. The resulting dish came out perfectly creamy and with no whisper of a lump. Judy recommends letting the polenta rest in a bain marie for 30 minutes prior to eating. I would have done that but when it comes to dirtying more dishes – that’s where I draw the line. I let mine rest for 15-20 minutes and I couldn’t have been happier with the results.

As for the Gorgonzola – just do it. Tomorrow can be a healthy eating day.

5 cups water

1 cup polenta

½ tsp salt

2 tbl butter

4 oz gorgonzola

Bring the water to a simmer in a medium saucepan. Whisk in the polenta then continue to stir until the water returns to a simmer. Reduce the heat until the polenta only bubbles occasionally. Cook uncovered for about 1 hour, stirring as needed. The polenta will be thick but still fluid, if too thick add a bit of water. Add salt, butter, and Gorgonzola. Remove from the heat, cover and let rest at least 15 minutes.

Roasted Grapes

adapted from Molly Stevens’ All About Roasting

It’s as if the grapes magically create their own jam when you roast them. I recommend serving these over caramel ice cream or vanilla with caramel sauce. If you manage to save a few for breakfast I’m sure your oatmeal would thank you.

1 lb red, seedless grapes

1 ½ Tbl olive oil

3 sprigs fresh rosemary

On a parchment lined sheet tray add the grapes and rosemary. Drizzle the oil on and stir to coat.Roast in a 300*F oven for 1-2 hours depending on desired roastedness.

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It has been decided, in my mind, that burgers should have an extended season. I admit there is little better than a burger with the faint taste of a charcoal grill, slathered with mayonnaise and cheese, pickles and onions. Said burger is enjoyed while your feet are dipped in a child’s pool to cool from the hot summer sun, but I want a burger extension.

I want to eat them while the wind unravels the leaves in jewel tones, off their tender branches. I’d love to eat a burger sitting next to a flickering fireplace while watching the snow gracefully fall outside. I would even eat one when the first tip of asparagus pops through the nearly frozen earth.

The principle remains the same – bread, patty and a few carefully selected accessories to pull it all together. But the recipes are a sign of the season.

This time of year our burger is a far cry from our frequent Summer variety. In place of the meat we blend a mixture of white beans with sweet and acidic sun-dried tomatoes as well as fresh rosemary whose sturdy branches are holding firm against the new set-in chill. A soft bun or hearty bread create the foundation. To that we add stone ground mustard, arugula and pickles. I’m sure a bit of cheese, perhaps feta or creamy goat, would be a welcomed addition. Either way it is a burger that Summer would be proud of.

White Bean Burgers with Rosemary and Sun-Dried Tomatoes

makes 4, large or 6-8 small burgers

2 cans cannellini beans, drained and rinsed

¾ cup panko bread crumbs

1/4 cup chopped sun-dried tomatoes

1 tbl fresh rosemary, chopped

¾ tsp kosher salt

¼ tsp pepper

3 garlic cloves, minced

pinch chili flake

2 eggs

Pre-heat your oven to 375*F

In a large bowl or a food processor add the beans. Mash them up a bit while still maintaining some bits of bean. Add to this the remaining ingredients except for the eggs. Taste for seasoning then add the eggs. Let this sit for 15 minutes or so. During this time the bread crumbs will soak up a bit of the moisture. The mixture will be wet but still able to form a patty, similar to ground meat actually. If the mixture feels dry at all add a bit of olive oil to moisten. If too wet add a bit more panko.

Line a sheet pan with parchment and a bit of oil or pan spray. Form four patties and place in a 375*F pre-heated oven. Bake 10-15 minutes on each side. Serve on crusty bread or a hamburger bun with spicy mustard, pickles, and greens (I like arugula).

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If you’re like me, chances are it’s 15 minutes until dinner and you are scouring the Internet hoping to find inspiration. And like me, your probably getting distracted with things like Pinterest, Twitter, and three little children who are on the verge of a complete and total breakdown caused by hanger (pronounced: hane-ger – It’s what happens when you mix hunger with anger and it’s a common occurrence around here, although not just relegated to the children).

Stop your surfing and cook with me, dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes.

First things first. You’ll need spaghetti, peanut butter (or sesame paste – Tahini – if you have it), soy sauce, rice wine (or a dry white will do), rice wine vinegar, sesame oil, garlic, and shallot if you have it.

Put a large pot of water over the stove and crank up the heat. Make the water taste of the sea. Seriously, taste it.

While the water is working on a boil add 4 cloves of garlic and a bit of shallot to a food processor. Pulse until well chopped. To this add 3 tbl peanut butter (or Tahini), ⅓ cup soy sauce, 2 tbl rice wine, 1 ½ tbl rice wine vinegar, and 1 ½ tbl sesame oil. Blend this all together.

As soon as your water is boiling add enough spaghetti to feed four.

Cook the pasta to al dente. Drain then stir in the sauce.

Dinner is ready.

If you have carrots, use a vegetable peeler to create fancy carrot ribbons. I tossed my ribbons with a splash or rice wine vinegar and toasted sesame seeds. I also happened to have a few sad looking scallions so I added those as well. Bean sprouts would also be a nice addition as would steamed or roasted broccoli or napa cabbage perhaps. So many choices.

Fifteen minutes and we’ve created a dinner that is sweet, salty with a bit of a bright bite. Serve the kids first then top your portion with a touch of Sriracha(or your favorite hot sauce).

While there is little I love more than to spend hours on one meal, taking care to plan through every detail. Setting the table to a multi-coursed meal that concludes with something sweet and most likely chocolatey. The truth is more often than not dinner goes from in my head to on the table in under thirty minutes. But that doesn’t mean our dinners have to suffer from my lack of planning. We eat well, if just happens quickly.

Quick Garlicky Pasta

inspired by Nigel Slater, Real Fast Food

3 Tbl peanut butter (or Tahini)

⅓ cup soy sauce

2 Tbl rice wine (or dry white wine)

1 Tbl rice wine vinegar

1 ½ Tbl Sesame oil

4 garlic cloves

1 Tbl chopped shallot

Combine the garlic and shallot in the bowl of a food processor. Scrape down the sides of the bowl then stir in the remaining ingredients. Process until well blended.

Toss this sauce with enough pasta for four.

Top with sesame seeds, carrot, bean sprouts, or whatever strikes your fancy.

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If you could see the inside of my fridge right now you’d be horrified. I am not naturally an organized person. Having three kids has forced me to improve on my organization skills but the fridge is still one area in which I need great improvement.

There are random jars of pickled peppers, capers, and jams that may or may not be expired. There are several yogurt containers that most likely do not contain yogurt but bits of meals from the previous week. Some that cause too much fear in me are saved for a day in which I’m brave enough to tackle the impending smell that will cast doom over the kitchen. Others are simply tossed into the trash even though my conscience screams at me, “Reuse that container! Or at the very least, recycle it!” I pretend I can’t hear it.

On the rare days that the house is clean and I appear to have my life order, please, just don’t open the fridge, because in there lies the truth. My life is cluttered, messy, often smelly, and chaotic.

My favorite way to clean out the fridge is to wrap those little random leftover bits, the ones that haven’t gone bad, in dough.

Pizza dough is often found in the fridge, so as I’m pulling that out I grab the yogurt container that contains a small amount of last night’s leftover sausage. And perhaps I’ll grab the container that has a few cherry tomatoes and chunks of blue cheese. Oh and there’s a bit of marinated kale too? I’ll take that.

With a bit of mozzarella and a spoonful of tomato sauce tucked in there, dinner is ready in under 30 minutes. The productive part of me, the one who gets giddy when I’m able to “kill two birds with one stone” as they say, is very proud that I cleaned out the fridge while producing a dinner that pleases everyone. Even those in the family, who shall remain nameless, that are less than thrilled with eating leftovers.

Calzone

This recipe can be adapted to endless possibilities. You’ll want to make sure you have some sort of cheese and a great red sauce, after that use what you have – roasted vegetables, greens, meat, etc. Any pizza dough will work here, homemade or store bought. Once you have the dough this meal comes together in moments and is easily customizable for those “particular” eaters in the family.

serves 4

1 recipe pizza dough (store-bought dough works beautifully here)

1 cup Newman’s Own Marinara (or your favorite red sauce)

1 cup mozzarella

1 cup cooked sausage

a few basil leaves, roughly torn

¼ cup olive oil

Pre-heat the oven to 450*

Divide the dough in four equal portions and create a rough circle. Flatten out to about ¼ – ½ inch thick using your hands or a rolling pin. In the center of each dough round add a couple of tablespoons of sauce, some cheese, sausage, and a couple of torn up pieces of basil. This is what I happened to have on hand, feel free to use what you find in the fridge.

Brush a little bit of the olive oil along the edge of the dough. Pull one side of the dough over the filling to reach the other side. Seal the edges and brush the top of the calzone with olive oil. Place on a parchment lined sheet tray or directly onto a pre-heated pizza stone, if you have one.

Bake until golden, about 15-20 minutes.

Let cool slightly as the inside will remain very hot for quite awhile. Serve warm along side a simple salad.

*This post was part of an ad campaign for Newman’s Own and was compensated for the content I created.

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What does one do when your garden is rampant with sage (and sadly, very little else)? Well, you make pesto of course.

Before the brilliance of sage pesto, I had relegated sage to merely a Thanksgiving herb, getting neatly tucked under turkey skin just prior to roasting. Or casually stirred into sauteed mushrooms before the box of Stove Top gets dumped on top (yes, Stove Top. No matter how hard I try, my family can not deviate from the box). No longer saved for November, we’re eating sage year-round.

Handfuls of pine-y and eucalyptus scented sage get thrown into a food processor with a bit of parsley and mint. These additional herbs help to calm the sage, as does the walnuts, Parmesan and lemon. What you are left with is just the right amount of wondering-through-the woods-after-a-good-rain taste, but not so much so that you feel as if you are eating the forest.

Because of our bountiful bush I was able to whip up a hefty batch leaving me an ample supply in the fridge. So I ate it, marinated with it, turned it into an appetizer, and whisked it into pleasantly biting dressing.

It is sort of reminiscent of the Fall, but with the mass of gray days we’ve been having in Seattle, it seems only fitting.

In order to enjoy this recipe you must be a fan of pungent herbs and not afraid of sage. If you, like me, revel in their floral aroma and not only enjoy eating them but also drinking herb flavored beverages, then you are in the right place. I suggest you start toasting your walnuts. Don’t worry about the sage, I have plenty to share.

Sage Walnut Pesto

¼ cup Italian parsley

¼ cup tablespoons mint

1 cup (2 ½ oz.) sage, packed

2 garlic cloves

½ cup (2 oz.) walnuts, toasted

½ cup (1/2 oz.) grated Parmesan

½ cup (3 ¾ oz.) extra-virgin olive oil

1 teaspoon lemon zest

2 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

salt

Combine first six ingredients in the bowl of a food processor and blend to a rough puree. Scrape down the sides of the bowl. With the machine running stream in the olive oil. Add the zest, lemon juice, then taste and add salt to taste. Adjust seasonings to your preference.

Sage Pesto Roasted Chicken

adapted from Zuni Cafe, via Molly (Orangette)

serves 4

1 medium-size whole chicken (about 4 pounds)

salt and pepper (about ¾ teaspoon kosher salt per pound)

½ cup sage pesto

A day or two before roasting generously apply salt and pepper all over the chicken – inside and out. I’ve done this a few hours before and it’s been fine but if you are a better planner than me, I highly recommend salting the bird at least a day in advance. The salt has a chance to permeate the bird replacing the awkward mess of a wet brine.

Cover the chicken with plastic wrap and refrigerate until ready to roast. Make sure the chicken is in a pan with sides so the juices don’t leak on to anything in the fridge.

When ready to roast pre-heat the oven to 450* for at least 30 minutes prior to roasting. Cover the chicken with the sage pesto and let sit at room temperature for at least 30 minutes. Place the chicken in a shallow roasting pan breast side up. Place in the oven then roast for 30 minutes. Carefully flip the bird over and roast another 15-20 minutes. Carefully flip over once again and finish breast side up for another 5-10 minutes. Total roasting time should be 50-60 minutes.

Remove from the roasting pan and lest rest for 15-20 minutes before cutting.

Sage Pesto Vinaigrette

¼ cup sage pesto

2 teaspoons champagne vinegar

3 tablespoons olive oil

Combine the pesto and vinegar in a small bowl. Drizzle in the olive oil while continually stirring. Taste and add salt and pepper if needed.

Dressing can be well covered and refrigerated for up to 3 days.

Sage, Ricotta, Pickled Cherry Crostini

One a hearty slice of crusty bread (toasted or not) add a mound of ricotta with a sprinkle of salt. On top of that a smaller heap of sage pesto and finally, a few slices of pickled cherries.

Pickled Cherries

10 oz (roughly 3 cups) Bing cherries (I left the pits in)

3/4 cup (5 1/2 oz) white vinegar

1/4 cup sugar (more if you want more sweetness)

4 cardamom pods, crushed

1 teaspoon peppercorns

1 teaspoon whole coriander

pinch chili flakes (optional)

Combine everything in an airtight container. Shake to mix. Refrigerate. These can be enjoyed a couple hours after mixing and up to one week after. The longer they sit the more pickled they taste. My favorite is 24 hours after they’ve been sitting in their pickle bath. After that I start to add a bit more sugar to balance the tang.

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This recipe just isn’t fair. I’m sorry. With its main components being butter, Mascarpone, asparagus, walnuts, and a dusting of Parmesan – there is little to no chance this won’t be an unforgettable dish.

I blame Delancey for planting the seed that sprouted this tart. On one of our regular visits I ordered a dish consisting of asparagus that was perfectly charred in their wood-burning oven, walnut cream, and slender shavings of Parmesan. It was a rare moment that I was cursing the fact that my children eat their vegetables as their little hands greedily swiped the slender green spears from my plate. I encouraged them to focus on their pizza and leave the asparagus for me as I painstakingly crafted the perfect bite with each component of the plate gracefully represented.

It was then that I learned that walnuts, asparagus, and Parmesan seemed to have been made for one another. My addition of flaky puff pastry, and garlic and chili flake spiked Mascarpone simply forms a solid foundation for those three to steal the show.

If you aren’t familiar with Mascarpone I hope this recipe entices you enough to familiarize yourself with this triple cream cheese. Similar to cream cheese in texture but without the harsh twang. It spreads like a dream and tastes the way I imagine heaven will feel. It’s indulgent and immediately makes any dish sound and taste suitable for fine dining.

For those of you who rush off to the store to buy Mascarpone to make this recipe – good for you. Then when you start cursing me when you see the cost of an 8 oz container, I apologize. Sit tight and I will soon share with you a recipe and method for making this soft cheese at home.

In place of the Mascarpone you may use Creme Fraiche.

continue for recipe…

Asparagus Tart

With the addition of a simply dressed salad this tart makes for a perfect Summer lunch.

serves 6-8

1 bunch asparagus (about 1 lb)

1 tablespoon olive oil

½ batch quick puff, classic puff (or store-bought puff )

¼ cup Mascarpone

¼ cup heavy cream

1 large clove garlic, minced

½ cup walnuts, toasted and roughly chopped

Parmesan

pinch pepper flakes

salt and pepper

Pre-heat your oven to 420*. Line a baking sheet with parchment.

Roll the puff to a rough 8×12 inch rectangle. Trim off the uneven edges. Carefully place the puff onto the baking sheet and chill in the refrigerator for about 15 minutes while you prepare the rest of the ingredients.

In a small bowl combine the Mascarpone, cream, garlic, pepper flakes, and a hefty pinch of salt and pepper.

Remove the woody part of the asparagus by taking one spear and carefully bending until it snaps. Using that spear as your guide cut the remaining asparagus where your guide snapped. In a medium bowl toss the asparagus with 1 tablespoon olive oil.

Remove your puff from the fridge and top with the Mascarpone mixture leaving a 1” border around the entire tart. On top of the Mascarpone lay the asparagus, single file, one right next to the other.  Sprinkle the top with a fine sea salt and put in the oven. After the first 20 minutes of baking reduce the heat to 350* and continue to bake for another 20-30 minutes, until cooked through.

Remove from the oven and let cool slightly. Just before serving top with toasted walnuts and shaved Parmesan. Serve warm or at room temperature.

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