We sunk into the couch letting the cushions hug us as we sorted through the day and set out to recover from it. It was pretty typical aside from the Sharpie all over the carpet and the ipad getting peed on, but even typical days need a bit of recovery and a moment to breathe it in and then let it go.

Gabe and I laughed away the day and wondered how one goes about getting pee off of an ipad. We talked about getting new carpet or rearranging the room to cover up our 2 year old’s Sharpie rampage. “Or we could just put a frame over it and call it art.” I said as Gabe went into the kitchen and pulled out two bottles from the fridge.

“Champagne or beer?” He asked.

“Let’s go with beer.” I said, already anticipating the skunky farmhouse ale and knowing that I’d just drink the bottle of champagne with a friend the next night.

Regardless of what had happened earlier in the day, tonight we were celebrating.

And this is where I don’t know how to write this. Which is weird because I’ve been writing this post in my head for over three years and now that it is finally time I’m getting all sweaty, nervous and way too excited to put words to a page. But I’ll try; with a big green bottle of my favorite Saison, a bag of Juanita’s tortilla chips and an ice cream cake waiting for us in the freezer we toasted to our book. The one I’m writing. An actual tangible book that will be held in people’s hands (hopefully all of your hands!), in their kitchen, curled up with them on the couch and in bed. People will be reading my words, cooking from my recipes and drooling over my photos printed on paper. I can’t get over this. It will be published by Running Press and edited by Kristen Green Wiewora who also recently edited, Homemade with Love: Simple Scratch Cooking from In Jennie’s Kitchen. Which is stunning, by the way.

A date night seemed the perfect way for us to celebrate because the book is our date nights. It is our story of nourishing our relationship and the food that connects us. I could not to be happier that this is the book I’m writing. It is of course a subject that I’m incredibly passionate about – well, two subjects – my husband and food. This book is an extension of the series I started on this site called, Dating My Husband. These posts are often my favorite to write and always the best to read your comments and emails in response to. How you all have reacted to these posts is a huge reason why I’m writing this book. So many of you have opened yourself up to me telling me about your own struggles in your relationships and have encouraged me by saying how much these date nights have changed your relationships.

Gabe and I have been dating at home for several years now and although at times it’s tough to fight through the exhaustion when all I really want is someone else to cook for me (sometimes there’s takeout date nights and that’s great too) we are so encouraged by what these evenings have meant for our marriage. Over time they’ve gotten easier, we’ve learned to love the comfort of our own home and enjoy the quiet hours in the late evening. I’ve stretched myself in the kitchen, trying new things in order to make these meals feel a bit different from our everyday. Now I find myself longing for our date nights at home, looking forward to them all week and eagerly working on the menu days in advance.

Our book is 25 dates set up seasonally with each having its own menu and a helpful plan to make creating this menu simple, even if you have a full-time job and children underfoot. Each date begins with the story from our date where I open up to you about our marriage – the joys, the trials and the work it takes to make it thrive. It’s an honest look into our marriage of nearly 10 years and how we fumble through life together, with three kids and everything else that’s thrown at us. It’s honest, funny, encouraging, tough and incredibly delicious.

In the moments when I’m telling myself, “I can’t do this! What was I thinking?! ME?! Writing a book? Who’s going to read it? Buy it?” I turn to the table of contents and the food scattered throughout those pages. Just reading the names of the recipes I’m working on makes me incredibly hungry, eager for the recipes myself and assured that this book is going to be so freaking good! Ah! The food is special. It’s a bit grubby delicious in the way that’s not afraid to use cream and butter and yet it’s loaded with vegetables and uses all real ingredients. There’s plenty of salads along with cocktails and desserts.

Writing a book has been compared to the process of childbirth and while I can begin to see and understand the truth in that, right now I feel as if I’ve just had the baby. I’m alone at home sitting on the couch with a soft skinned baby relying on me for food, comfort, love and guidance. Even though I’ve read through stacks of parenting books and tried my best to observe and question seasoned parents suddenly I feel at a complete loss of what to do with this little life. And so now I’m sitting here, on the couch again, with a blank computer screen seeking to put words to paper trying to make this book the one of my dreams, the one I want to add to my own cookbook collection and the one you all will eagerly cook from. It feels awkward, thrilling and unbelievable.

I’ve been that awkward new mom with three babies and we’ve figured it out. We’re still figuring it out but the point is we’re doing it. And that’s just how this book will be. Bird by Bird, recipe by recipe, date by date. And around Valentine’s Day 2015 I’ll get to share this baby with the rest of the world. I can not wait for you to meet my book. In the meantime I’ll be here sharing recipes here as I always have. There will be more dates – different than the ones going in the book and there will be glimpses into this new world of writing a book as I’m fumbling through this process, figuring it out and fighting the doubt and celebrating the triumph. After all, this book will exist in great part because of you all, it seems appropriate then that you’d journey with me through it all.

Let’s do this.

A very hearty thank you to my agent Stacey Glick. Thank you for holding my hand, acting as counselor and already pushing this book to be bigger, greater and everything I want it to be.

Ice Cream Cake

It’s okay to admit that Dairy Queen is the inspiration for this dessert right? Their ice cream cakes remain to be one of my favorite desserts. I love it for its absence of cake, for the chewy hot fudge and crispy chocolate wafers in-between layers of creamy ice cream and as a kid I loved the magical printed images on the top (okay, I might still love that)  There’s nothing better – that is until I decided to make my own. I stopped shy of making my own ice cream, for that I used D’Ambrosia Gelato in Seattle (the best!). You can use 2 quarts of your favorite ice cream. 

It is definitely a cake worthy of a celebration. 

For the cake you’ll need the following recipes plus:

2 quarts ice cream (two flavors is ideal)

1 cup heavy cream, whipped to soft peaks

Chocolate Wafers

adapted from Alice Medrich

Of course one doesn’t need to bake their own chocolate wafers but there is something so satisfying as creaming butter and mixing in a few ingredients in your own kitchen only to come up with a flavor so reminiscent of childhood you’ll be reaching for a glass of milk and fighting the desire to lick the hydrogenated creamy center that’s not there. 

The ice cream cake only requires the use of half of the cookies I usually bake them all but if you’d rather you can freeze half of the dough for a later use. 

1 cup flour

1/2 cup cocoa powder

1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

6 tablespoons butter, soft

1/2 cup dark brown sugar

1/2 cup sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

3 tablespoons milk

Whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt in a bowl. Set that aside while you cream the butter and sugars together until light, about 4 minutes on medium speed or a couple more minutes more if you are mixing the dough by hand. Add the vanilla extract and milk to the creamed butter and sugars.

Slowly mix in the dry ingredients until just combined. Gather the wet dough and place on a piece of parchment paper. Roll the parchment paper up and work the dough into a rough 2” log. If you are using these cookies for the ice cream cake the shape really doesn’t matter as they are destined for crumbs but if you’d like to create a uniform log for perfectly formed round cookies refrigerate the dough for 10 minutes then reform the log and squeeze the ends to compress the dough into a perfect round. Continue this process until the log is uniform. If the shape isn’t a concern just chill until firm. About 45 minutes in the fridge or 20 minutes in the freezer.

Slice the roll of cookie dough into 1/4” discs and bake at 350*F for 12-15 minutes. You want them to be quite dry so they’ll hold their crunch when surrounded by ice cream. I fit the entire batch on two baking sheets, bake for 12 minutes then turn off the oven and leave the trays in for an additional 5 minutes. Just watch and smell them closely as you don’t want them to burn.

Let the cookies cool on the tray for 5 minutes before transferring to wire racks to cool completely.

Gather half of the cookies into a large ziplock bag and break up into small pieces.

Hot Fudge

adapted from Smitten Kitchen

If you have it use Lyle’s golden syrup here. It’s deeper in color and adds a lovely subtle caramel flavor to the hot fudge. That combined with a bit of salt, bittersweet chocolate and coffee this rich hot fudge attempts to play the starring role in this cake. 

1 cup heavy cream

1/3 cup golden syrup (or corn syrup)

1/3 cup dark brown sugar

1/4 cup cocoa powder

1 cup (6 ounces) bittersweet chocolate, chopped or use chips

2 tablespoons butter

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 teaspoon instant espresso powder

In a sauce pan combine the cream, syrup sugar and cocoa powder. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat and then let simmer for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the remaining ingredients. Once the chocolate and the butter have melted strain the entire mixture to ensure no pesky cocoa powder clumps remain.

Let cool to room temperature before assembling the cake. If you are making this in advance, refrigerate until ready to use then gently reheat on the stove or in a microwave until the hot fudge is pourable.

Will keep in the fridge for 2 weeks.

Candied Cocoa Nibs

“I wonder if you can candy cocoa nibs?” I recently asked a friend and then the rest was history. It turns out you can and you really should. With sugar and heat these bittersweet little crunchy chocolate bites turn into caramel-y, lightly sweetened, bittersweet chocolate bites. If you want more of a brittle texture add more sugar. I prefer to have the nibs just barely coated in caramel as I love the bitter, almost savory flavor they bring to the cake.

2-3 tablespoons sugar

1/4 cup cocoa nibs

course salt (like Maldon)

In a small, clean pan pour the sugar in an even layer across the bottom. Over medium-high heat melt the sugar, rotating the pan and gently stirring if the sugar is caramelizing unevenly. Once all is melted and the sugar is amber in color turn off the heat and immediately stir in the nibs.

Coat the cocoa nibs in the sugar then place on a parchment lined sheet tray, sprinkle a bit of salt on top.

Let the nibs cool completely then break into pieces.

Assembling the cake:

Line the bottom of a 8 or 9” springform pan with parchment paper (you only need the parchment paper if you are planning on removing the bottom of the springform pan, otherwise you can skip this step and serve it right on the base of the pan).

Add the first quart of softened ice cream to the bottom. Spread evenly with an off-set spatula.

Top that layer with half of the hot fudge and cookie crumbs.

Place the pan into the freezer for at least 30 minutes to set up.

Remove the pan from the freezer and add the second quart of softened ice cream over the cookie crumbs.

Top the ice cream with the remaining hot fudge.

Put the cake back into the freezer until you are ready to serve.

Un-mold the cake, taking off the base of the springform pan and parchment if you used it.

Top the cake with the whipped cream and candied cocoa nibs.

Serve immediately.

Keeps in the freezer for 1 week, although the cream on top turns icy but really no one complains about it.

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“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you… I could walk through my garden forever.”

- Alfred Tennyson

And in this garden of mine we would picnic everyday, as we did the other night. There would always be stiff Manhattans in the flask, sweet strawberry cupcakes in hand and rich chocolate pudding capped with bourbon whipped cream.

You’d pick me a flower just as two more would pop up next to us.

I could live in this ever-growing garden always, as long as you were there with me.

Strawberry Cupcakes
adapted from Look, I made that
makes 16-18 cupcakes

Strawberries are definitely not in season here and yet I needed these cupcakes. I imagine the flavor to be much more strawberry-like if the berries are used were ruby red throughout. I’ll try again in June. But regardless we ate them happily. These we topped with brown sugar buttercream and while delicious we decided that lightly sweetened whipped cream and sliced berry on top would have been wonderful too.

2 1/4 cup flour
1/4 cup cornstarch
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/3 cup buttermilk
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1 tea vanilla extract
1/2 vanilla bean (optional)
4 ounces unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 large eggs, room temperature, beaten
1 cup pureed strawberries
1/2 teaspoon orange zest
1/4 tea rose water (optional)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line two cupcake pans with cupcake papers.
In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, cornstarch, baking soda, and salt. Set aside. In another medium bowl, combine the buttermilk, oil, and vanilla extract. Set aside.
Combine the vanilla seeds (if using), sugar and butter and beat until well combined. Add the eggs in a slow stream, beating well after each addition. Beat for 1 minute at medium speed. Gradually add the buttermilk mixture and beat for 1 minute at medium speed.
Reduce the speed to low and add the flour mixture. Mix until just combined. Stir in the pureed strawberries and the orange zest.
Spoon into the prepared cake pans and bake until the cupcakes spring back when touched lightly in the center, about 20-25 minutes. Cool slightly before removing from the pan.
Cool completely before frosting.

Brown Sugar Buttercream

4 large egg whites
1 cup packed dark brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

In a heatproof bowl set over (not in) a pan of simmering water, whisk together egg whites, sugar, and salt.

Cook, whisking constantly, until the sugar has dissolved and the mixture is warm to the touch.

Transfer to the clean bowl of an electric mixer. Beat on medium speed until fluffy and cooled, about 15 minutes.

Raise speed to high; beat until stiff peaks form. Reduce speed to medium-low; add butter, 2 to 3 tablespoons at a time, until fully incorporated. Add vanilla and whisk to combine.

Chocolate Pudding
Adapted from Smitten Kitchen
Serves 6
This really is the perfect classic pudding. The creamy texture is reminiscent of the boxed variety I remember and crave. And really, it’s no more difficult to make. Unless you use the instant pack – that’s way too easy and a little odd how it firms up so quickly.
I used dark brown sugar instead of the white which added more richness and depth to the pudding but I imagine white is the more classic choice. I’ll leave it up to your pudding discretion.

1/4 cup cornstarch
1/2 cup sugar (see note)
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
3 cups whole milk
7 ounces chocolate, coarsely chopped (I used 60% chips)
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Combine the cornstarch, sugar and salt. Whisk well to remove any lumps.
In a large saucepan bring the milk to a boil to a simmer. Add the sugar and cornstarch mixture and whisk together for one minute, or until thick. Turn off the heat and add the chocolate. Whisk until the chocolate is melted and everything is well combined.
Transfer the pudding to a bowl, or individual bowls, and place wax paper or plastic wrap directly on the surface to prevent a skin from forming.
Refrigerated until cold and set.

Bourbon Whipped Cream

There’s no recipe except to add as much bourbon as you think necessary to a bit of whipped cream. I added nearly 2 tablespoons to about 1 1/2 cups of already whipped cream.

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There are days when the date night is another item on the to do list. We do it to continue the habit knowing that even in our exhaustion the time together is necessary. We never regret that time together because even in the most tired evenings, when it’s simply a cocktail and a 30 minute conversation, we are always glad that we had that time.

But then there are the times when I’m driving my son to school on Monday already dreaming of the menu for our date night on Thursday. When the thought of sauteing onions, sitting at a quiet table with my husband and talking about our hope for the new year seems about as close to perfection as I can imagine. Gabe and I have dated since I was 18 and yet there are still times when my stomach flutters as if it’s our first date. I’m grateful for those moments because they are the ones that sustain the not-so-fluttery moments.

He fed the kids a simple dinner while I poured us each a glass of red wine. At the store I had determined that the perfect appetizer for our date night meal of meatball sandwiches was Cool Ranch Doritos. He agreed and we both happily ate our chips and drank wine remarking out it was oddly not such a terrible pairing.

As Gabe tucked and re-tucked the kids into bed I mixed and formed the meatballs. They simmered in a bath of tomatoes while the food processor pureed a quick pesto – herby and bright with a punch of garlic so powerful that I’m sure the scent helped flavor our neighbor’s dinner.

“Smells great in here.” He said as he came down the stairs and grabbed another chip. I smiled proudly and continued with our dinner in between sips of wine.

While the sandwiches lounged in the oven snug in an aluminum foil blanket, giving them time for the cheese to melt and the bread to crisp, I threw together a simple salad. Ruffled leaves of butter lettuce, grapefruit with avocado and very little else.

Not much was said while we feasted on our sandwiches. I enjoyed the tomato-bathed meatballs fragrant with red wine and romano and happily feasted on the crisp, buttery, and bright salad but my satisfaction was in seeing my husband eating with great abandon. I fight the urge to sound like or even be this image of a 50’s era housewife or some sort of June Cleaver type woman who works tirelessly for the sake of her man, but golly did it ever feel good to love my husband through this meal. And I guess that too is part of love – when the joy of someone else becomes more valuable than your own.

For dessert a bit more wine and vulnerability in sharing our vision for the new year. I read him the draft of my last post and we talked about specific goals; some practical, others lofty. When the goals were as closely committed to stone as we could muster – a Sharpie on a large piece of white paper, we stacked the dishes in the sink for the next day, cozied up on the couch and watched more Homeland then we probably should have.

I soaked in the night that felt so easy and right. Without sounding too pessimistic I committed that feeling to memory knowing that its storage would serve useful on the hard days. This is how it is in a relationship. Some days things just come naturally. It’s not hard to remember why I said, “I do”. The days when his touch is electric, the sound of my name passing his lips makes me feel loved and I have nothing but joy and hope for our days ahead. And then there are the days where I have to work to catch those moments. Where I remember simple truths like: You can’t be healthy without eating well and a bit of exercise. You can’t be a writer without writing. And you can’t grow your marriage without some effort. Sometimes the effort feels like work or a sacrifice and then there are times when you make meatball sandwiches knowing how happy that will make him. You kiss him without thinking about it and you can think of nothing better than the rest of your life with him. Its these days that make the others worth working on.

Meatball Sandwich with Pesto Aioli
adapted from Tartine Bread

It’s quite possible I bought myself this book for Christmas and then had Gabe wrap it and put it under the tree for me. I did, however refrain from looking at it until I opened it Christmas morning which was when I spotted this sandwich that from the very first look, was destined to be a date night meal.

Pesto Aioli
makes about 1 cup pesto / 1 ½ cups aioli
The original recipe calls for ¼ cup garlic. While I love garlic I found it far too much. So here I’ve cut it back. Also, I decided to turn the spread into an aioli because I’m just weak for a creamy spread on indulgent sandwiches such as this one.

2 tablespoons finely chopped garlic
¼ cup chopped fresh flat leaf parsley
¼ cup chopped fresh basil
½ cup chopped arugula
¼ cup toasted almonds
3 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons finely grated Parmesan
1 teaspoon lemon zest
2 teaspoons lemon juice
salt and pepper
¼ – ½ cup mayonnaise

Combine everything except the mayonnaise in a food processor and process until a smooth paste is formed. Taste and adjust seasonings to your liking.
You could use it on the sandwich as just a pesto spread or, as we did, you could turn it into an aioli by adding some mayonnaise. Start with ¼ cup then taste and adjust if you’d like.
This can be made a few days in advance if well covered and refrigerated.

Meatballs
This recipe makes a lot of meatballs. For the sake of time and not wanting to eat meatballs everyday for a week I decided to freeze half the recipe. And now I’m already looking forward to a day when my dinner creativity is zapped and I can simply open the freezer for a quick meal.

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 large onion, chopped
1 pound ground beef
1 pound ground pork
4 large eggs
1 cup whole milk
1 cup grated Romano cheese
¼ cup red wine
2 cups bread crumbs
1 bunch flat leaf parsley, stems removed and the leaves chopped
2 teaspoons kosher salt
½ teaspoon pepper
pinch red pepper flakes

Tomato Sauce

3 garlic cloves, minced
1 can (28 oz) chopped tomatoes

soft ciabatta bread – or any other type you’d like to use
sliced provolone

In a large skillet over medium heat add the oil and the onions and cook until transluscent and just beginning to brown, about 15 minutes. Let the onions cool.
In a large bowl combine the remainder of the ingredients with the cooled onions. Mix everything well using your hands as they are the best tool in the kitchen. The mixture is quite wet.
Shape the mixture into roughly apricot size meatballs.
Heat a large skillet with a bit more oil. Sear the meatballs on all sides working in batches as to not overcrowd the pan. Transfer the seared meatballs to a plate and continue to work in this way until all the meatballs have been seared.
Drain the fat from the skillet then return the pan to the stove over medium heat. Add the garlic and saute for two minutes. Add the tomatoes and with a wooden spoon scrape up any dark bits that cling to the bottom of the pan. Bring the tomatoes to a boil then reduce the heat to low. Return the meatballs to the pan and simmer for 20 minutes.
Preheat the oven to 350*F. Spread half of the bread with the pesto aioli then place a few meatballs along with a bit of sauce on the other half. Top the meatballs with a slice of provolone. Wrap the sandwich in aluminum then place in the oven for about 15 minutes until the cheese has melted and the bread is crisp. Let stand before eating as the sandwich will be very hot.

Grapefruit and Avocado Salad
adapted from Canal House Cooks Every Day

serves 2
There was a time when I thought salads were their best in the Summer but Winter, you’re winning me over with salads like this one. Also, I’d like to add that I’m hereby requesting to be an honorary member of the Canal House cooks. Maybe they’d let me do their dishes? This book also came to me by way of Christmas (although I didn’t buy it myself) and so far I couldn’t recommend it enough.

1 ruby red grapefruit
1 tablespoon champagne vinegar
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 pinch chile flakes
1 avocado, peeled and quartered
1 head butter lettuce
2 tablespoons chopped fresh chives

Remove the ends of the grapefruit with a sharp paring knife. Follow the curve of the fruit with the knife and slice off the peel and white pith exposing the flesh. Over a bowl, hold the grapefruit in one hand and cut out each segment by running the knife down both sides of the membrane. Let the segments drop into the bowl along with the juice. Add to the bowl the vinegar, chile flakes and olive oil. Season with salt and pepper. Taste.
On a platter arrange the butter lettuce and avocado. Drizzle the dressing and the grapefruit over the top. Dust the chives over it all. Serve immediately.

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Dating as young, broke college students forced Gabe and I to be creative with our date nights. The truth is we didn’t see this as much of a limitation, we were just happy together. Our homework was done together, every meal in our college cafeteria was eaten together and we did a whole lot of nothing, together.

After a particularly hard final or just because we felt as if we needed it, Gabe and I would lavish ourselves with junk food and junk movies. These evenings happened more regularly than recommended but we always looked forward to them. You’ll cringe when I tell you the menu but like most meals, what matters most is who was there when you shared it.
Frozen pizza and Salsitas with side of Ben and Jerry’s.

At the end of the evening we would reluctantly say a sweet goodbye then saunter off each to our own dorm rooms, most likely feeling a bit ill from dinner and already eager to see one another again.

On the nights when we wouldn’t overindulge in junk food we spent hours in the upper lounge of our dorm where we would cozy into plush, purple faux leather chairs and talk, mostly nonsense. When the words ran out we grabbed blank sheets of paper and began doodling. We created intricate worlds with fat, goofy looking cows; their necks a single line, bodies plump and speckled with black squiggly spots.

I loved watching Gabe draw. While I, the art major, focused on realism, he showed that it’s okay not to take yourself too seriously. His drawings of cows continue to make me laugh. I asked him to draw one for you – ridiculous right?!

For our date night last week I was feeling particularly tired and could not will myself to pull together a nice meal for just the two of us. But dessert I could handle. It was as if the memory of our early dating days surfaced as I sent Gabe to the store for Cool Ranch Doritios while I made us an Eton Mess in which I simmered tart dried cherries in a hearty red wine along with cardamom, vanilla bean and a bit of sugar. The cherries looked plump like the cows in Gabe’s drawings as they soaked up the wine and made a syrup of what liquid remained.

Earlier in the day the kids and I crafted with meringue. I made snowflakes and they did some doodling of their own with the piping bag in the form of squiggles that intended to be stars.

While the cherries cooled and the kids slept quietly in bed I whipped up some lightly sweetened cream. Some of the meringue doodles became crumbs for the sake of our dessert and were layered in between the sweet drunken cherries, cream and bittersweet chocolate that was roughly chopped.

The Eton Mess resembled nothing of the desserts we would indulge in on those junk food nights but the zesty chips, snuggling on the couch and doodling we did on the iPad made it feel like a date – one in which we were very familiar with.

This time our drawings had purpose as we are working on a coloring book for the kids for a Christmas present. I may have envisioned an evening like this as a giddy, young college girl dating a handsome, young college boy. As you do, I imagined our lives together, hoping my future involved Gabe. But this reality is so much sweeter than any girlish vision. I’m so much happier now, eating Eton Mess with a side of chips drawing pictures for our three children – than I ever could have dreamed.
Eton Mess
serves 4

Eton Mess is a classic English dessert usually consisting of strawberries, cream and meringue. I’ve taken a few liberties with my version; using dried cherries, adding wine and dark chocolate.
I’m often the harshest critic of my own food. Often you won’t see me utterly gushing over a recipe I created as I’ve often found a minute flaw but this one, oh this one is damn good. This dessert shut the critic up so I was able to enjoy each bite. The ones in which a good portion of every layer cozied up on the spoon along with a large chunk of bittersweet chocolate – those were my favorite.
There are several components here but they could all be made in advance, just hold off on the final assembly until you are ready to eat.

Stewed Cherries

1 cup dried tart cherries
3 cardamom pods
cinnamon
nutmeg
¼ cup sugar
1 cup wine
1 spent vanilla bean (The meringue calls for a vanilla bean, save that one and use here).

Combine everything in a saucepan and bring to a simmer. Over low heat simmer until the wine is reduced down and is nearly like syrup. Let cool completely.

Cherries can be made one week in advance. Cover well and store in the fridge.

Meringue Snowflakes
adapted from marthastewart.com

If it’s just meringue you are after I love making these with a bit of peppermint extract. Topped with some crushed candy canes or dipped in chocolate after baking – they make a fine holiday hostess gift.

½ cup egg whites (from about 4 large eggs)
1 ¼ cups sugar
¼ teaspoon cream of tartar
pinch salt
1 vanilla bean

In the bowl of a stand mixer add the egg whites and sugar. Place the bowl over a medium size pot filled with simmering water. Whisk continuously until the sugar is dissolved and the egg whites are warm.
Place the bowl on the stand mixer. Add the cream of tartar. Start the mixer on low then gradually increase to high. Continue to whip until stiff glossy peaks appear – about 10 minutes. Add the salt and vanilla bean. Mix to combine.

To pipe the snowflakes I drew a rough pattern on the back of a piece of parchment using a permanent marker. Flip the parchment over so the drawing is on the back side and place on a baking sheet. Use a small round tip (about ¼”). Place the pastry tip in a large piping bag. Fold the bag down about three inches then fill with meringue – don’t fill to the top as this will create quite a mess. Fold the bag up, twist the top and use your left hand to guide the tip while the right hand rests just under the twist in the bag and gently applies pressure (if you are left handed simply switch the hand placement. Pipe the snowflake onto the parchment following the pattern you drew.

Bake meringue in a 275*F oven for about an hour, or until the meringue is completely dry. If the meringue starts to color, turn down your oven. Or turn it off and let the residual heat dry the meringue.

For the Eton Mess you will just need 1 cup of meringue crumbles so you don’t need to pipe snowflakes for that. I let my kids have fun with the piping bag on a baking sheet lined with parchment then used some of their creations for the Mess.

Meringues can be stored in an airtight container for two weeks. If they get soft you can redry in the oven.

Assembling the Mess

2 cups cream
2 Tbl sugar
1 cup meringue crumbles
1 cup chocolate, roughly chopped (I like a mix of shavings and big chunks)
Stewed cherries (recipe above)
Whip the cream with 2 tablespoons sugar until soft peaks form.
Traditionally Eton Mess is just that – a mess. All the components are combined then spooned into a serving dish. Here I combined elements of two classic British desserts as I layered mine more like a Trifle. I like seeing the vibrant wine hued cherries contrast against the meringue and cream. You can combine it all however you wish.
I started with the lightly sweet cream then added some meringue crumbles, on top of that cherries then bits of chocolate. A snowflake meringue capped it off.
All the components can be made in advance but I recommend assembling just before serving as the meringue will get soft as it sits.

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Along a winding road sharing its edge with a muttering river to one side and towering trees at the peak of their lush summer coat on the other, Gabe and I listened to a booming voice read John Steinbeck’s, “Travels with Charley”. Steinbeck’s words fit our scenery as he, along with his dog, Charley, tightly packed a trailer named Rocinante and drove similar roads all across America. His desire was to connect with the land and the people that he so often wrote about. The book is filled with Steinbeck’s illustrative prose and bits of wisdom that he slips in without pause.

“Once a journey is designed, equipped, and put in process, a new factor enters and takes over. A trip, a safari, an exploration, is an entity, different from all other journeys. It has personality, temperament, individuality, uniqueness. A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us. Tour masters, schedules, reservations, brass-bound and inevitable, dash themselves to wreckage on the personality of the trip. Only when this is recognized can the blown-in-the glass bum relax and go along with it. Only then do the frustrations fall away. In this a journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.”

- John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley in Search of America

With the mention of marriage this quote caught my attention but at first I stubbornly disagreed. You can control marriage, I thought with clinched shoulders and great conviction. You and your partner can determine to fight through the struggles, turn to one another to celebrate the joys and persevere in the day to day connecting in it all. In marriage you do have control over how you utilize your time and how much you are willing to work to make the relationship a healthy and thriving one. But as I later re-read his words I realized that my natural instinct is to think I can control a lot more than I really do.

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Life is simply uncontrollable. I have little power over tragedies, disappointments and bumps that inevitably mark the course of our timeline. I fret and lie in a pool of anxiety that I foolishly and unnecessarily build for myself. For what? What control do I have except to control my response to the path laid out for me? I can’t control the big picture and oh my word, thank goodness for that. Realizing this feels as freeing as removing a heavy pack after a long and arduous journey. Relief.

In marriage, Gabe and I signed up to be fellow travelers in this journey that we can not control. We work together to plan what we can, dream of possibilities and determine what we feel is best for our little family. But even if those things never become a reality, even if our “plan” is completely derailed and life puts us on a different route we are committed to traveling through it all together. Knowing his commitment to me and mine to him we are free to enjoy our journey and work together to deal with what life brings us.

We’ve come to the point in our journey where traveling without one another doesn’t feel right – figuratively and literally. A couple weeks ago I spent a few days in Wisconsin visiting dairies and cheese makers and seeing first-hand the pride Wisconsin has for their cheese. I returned vowing to stay off cheese for a few days as I had had more than my share. The plan was to stick to greens but within hours I was at the store buying cheese. In an attempt to share my trip with Gabe I came home with an aged, nutty, Gruyere-like cheese, a pungent blue and a creamy, mild semi-soft cheese.

Over a plate of charred vegetables slathered in smoky Romesco we settled back into our routine. He heard about my week and I his while ripping into a still steaming parchment pouch revealing a mild and flaky fish. With radiating wisps of lemon and herbs we dipped our forkfuls of fish into that same smoky sauce as conversation weaved between approving nods and appreciation for our dinner and the time together.

By the time dessert was served our exhaustion led us to the couch where we turned on a movie, enjoying the simplicity of being together while dipping our spoons into cool mascarpone whose edges submitted to the puddle of warm caramel. We shared the same bowl taking in a spoonful of the rich and sweet sauce in between bites of tart apple.

These dinners we can control. We can mark this time for us and fight against apathy and exhaustion carving out time in our day for one another. Making these decisions in the times we do have control makes us stronger to battle what we can’t control. For as long as this life allows we will travel together.

Cheese Plate

*I was sent to Wisconsin by the Wisconsin Milk Marketing Board. The idea to put together this cheese plate not even a day after returning home from four days of eating cheese was purely my own. My opinons are also my own.
Pleasant Ridge Reserve
Emmi Roth Buttermilk Blue
Crave Brother’s Petit Freres
toasted almonds
Quince and Apple’s Fig and Black Tea Preserve

Romesco
adapted from The NY Times

1 dried ancho chile

4 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

¼ cup raw almonds

2 tablespoons hazelnuts or additional almonds

1 cup small cubes of stale sourdough bread

4 cloves garlic, peeled and sliced

2 jarred piquillo peppers, drained and chopped

1 medium ripe tomato, peeled, seeded and chopped (about 2/3 cup)

½ cup water

1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

1 tablespoon sherry vinegar

1/2 – 1 teaspoon smoked Spanish paprika, sweet or hot, or to taste

salt
Place the dried chile in a bowl and cover with boiling water, weighing it down with a plate to keep it submerged. Set aside for 30 minutes.
Heat oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add the almonds, hazelnuts and bread cubes and stir until they start to brown, 6 to 8 minutes. Add the garlic, and stir until lightly browned. Add the piquillo peppers. Remove from heat.
Drain the chile, and remove stem and seeds. Chop the chile, add it to the pan, heat and stir briefly. Add the tomato, stir and cook a minute or so until softened. Remove from heat.
Transfer to a food processor or a blender and pulse until a rough paste is formed. With the machine running, slowly pour in the water. Turn off the machine, add vinegar, lemon juice, paprika and salt, to taste, then pulse briefly to blend. You want the finished sauce to hold onto a bit of texture. If needed, you can pulse in a bit more water or olive oil.

Whole Roasted Fish with Lemon and Parsley

Beyond that recipe title there is little else I need to tell you about the preparation of this fish. I had the fish cleaned at the store then added lemon slices, salt, parsley and pepper to both the inside and outside of the fish. A couple good swaths of olive oil were poured over the top then the fish was wrapped in two layers of parchment, placed on a baking sheet and went into a 400*F oven until the internal temperature reached 135*F, which took about 25 minutes.
Caramel with Mascarpone

½ cup sugar

½ cup whole milk, warmed

¼ cup mascarpone (plus more for serving)

salt

In a medium saucepan add the sugar and turn the heat to medium high. The sugar will slowly begin to melt and caramelize. Use a clean spoon or spatula to move the sugar around to evenly caramelize. Once all the sugar has melted and the caramel is the color of deep copper turn off the heat and carefully pour in the warm milk. Please be so careful at this point as the caramel will bubble up vigorously. Stir to combine then add the mascarpone. If the caramel has seized simply turn the heat back on until the caramel melts into the milk. Add a pinch of salt.
Pour about ¼ cup of warm caramel into a small bowl or dish that has a scoop of mascarpone on the bottom. Serve immediately. Encourage your diners to dip their spoon into the mascarpone then into the caramel getting a balance of both tastes on the spoon. Serve with fresh apple slices.

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