*This post was created in partnership with Chateau St. Jean. We both believe that a proper pizza is best served with a glass of wine. This one in particular, with its robust smoky flavors and an abundance of creamy ricotta pairs beautifully with their Pinot Noir. Be sure to check out their site to get all of our date night recipes and wine pairings. 

Do you have that one meal that you always crave? The one that when asked what would be your last meal you respond with the same answer again and again. For me that is a cheese burger. Not just any cheese burger,  it has a soft bun crisped with butter, perfectly salted meat that doesn’t overwhelm the thickly sliced jewel toned tomato and the lettuce that shatters as you bite into it. There are tangy pickles and a sharp sauce that really holds it all together. Gabe’s answer is always pizza.

Marriage is all about compromise right? So when we’re driving around town in between baseball practices needing a quick dinner sometimes it’s pizza and sometimes it’s burgers. Honestly though, I mostly win.

Which is why I’m making pizza for date night because that sweet man of mine will sacrifice his love of pizza for my constant cravings for a cheese burger. But not today babe, today is all about you and this pizza. Which quite honestly isn’t a huge sacrifice on my part because I’m a huge fan of this particular pizza but let’s just continue to pretend that I’m making a concerted effort here.

First we want to roast the bacon and asparagus together so they both get a bit of a head start which in the end will make them roasty and charred in all the right places. We’re taming the smokiness with creamy ricotta and mozzarella and utilizing a trick I learned from our favorite pizza spot here in Seattle, Delancey, by tossing thinly sliced garlic all over dough. The pizza is finished with a flurry of shaved Parmesan. On the side I like a simple green salad with a tart vinaigrette.

If the weather is on your side this a great pizza for grilling.

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Bacon, Asparagus and Ricotta Pizza

Prep 20 mins

Cook 20 mins

Total 40 mins

Author Ashley Rodriguez

Yield 4

Ingredients

8 ounces pizza dough

1 small bundle fresh asparagus, woody ends removed

Olive oil

Salt and pepper

4 strips bacon

1 garlic clove, thinly sliced

4 ounces fresh mozzarella

3 ounces whole milk ricotta

2 tablespoons finely grated Parmesan

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 425°F

Chef 1: Add the asparagus and bacon to a sheet tray. Drizzle on a bit of olive oil and salt and pepper to the asparagus. Roast for 15 – 20 minutes or until the bacon is crisp and the asparagus is tender and caramelized in parts.

Chef 2: Roll or stretch out the pizza to a 10 to 12-inch round. Place on a baking sheet sprinkled with a bit of flour or cornmeal. Drizzle the dough with olive oil then scatter the garlic slices, mozzarella, and ricotta.

Chef 1: Once cool break up the bacon pieces then add the bacon and asparagus to the pizza.

Chef 2: Slide the pizza into the oven and bake until the crust is golden and crisp, about 15 minutes.

Finish with Parmesan.

Chef 1 and 2: Enjoy with a glass or two of Chateau St. Jean Pinot Noir.

Courses Dinner

*We’re falling into spring with our friends at Chateau St. Jean. This is the first in a series of three springy date night recipes. We’re starting with a Grilled Lamb Salad that is both hearty and light – just what is needed as we slowly move away from long gray days of winter and into light, breezy and nearly warm spring. We’ve paired this recipe with their Cabernet Sauvignon. With aromas of berries and spice it holds up to the lamb quite nicely.

I hate to admit it but it is true what they say about Seattle – it rains, a lot. This year in particular has proven that point beyond what I feel it needs to. We’ve broken many sodden records and recently a headline read “Never-ending gloom? Seattle has had just 3 sunny, mild days since the start of October” That’s right, we have had a collective 30 hours and 51 minutes of sunshine since the beginning of October.

I’ve reached the point in the season where I am desperately ready for the next. I’m ready to feel a bit of sun on my face, get my hands dirty in the garden, wander the beach (without four layers on) and pluck sun-warmed berries off the vines. The roaring fire in the fireplace was once cozy but now I curse it for its necessity.

This morning, Roman was ready for school well before it was time to leave. He put on his hooded rain jacket and favorite baseball hat, grabbed his wooden bat and went outside to practice his swing. I held my coffee cup in tight as I watched him take swing after swing while the rain trickled off the brim of his cap. He turned to the window and saw me watching him with a big grin across my face. His lips curled into a smile, matching mine, before returning to swinging position never once letting the rain slow him down. 

Our marriage has weathered its fair share of seasons. In fact it was in the midst of a season that felt much like our gray, wet late winter days when Gabe and I started dating at home. I had resigned to settle into the season of raising young children while pushing aside our marriage. There will be time for us when they’ve grown I would say to myself but just like Roman out in the rain practicing for sunny days on the ball field, I decided that I couldn’t simply wait for this season to pass and expect that our relationship would be okay at the end of it. We needed to continue to live and invest in one another even – or especially – during the gray. Had we waited for the proper conditions – kids in school, sleeping through the night or even waited until they were out of the house – we would have missed so many beautiful moments together in the midst of children wailing, sharpie sketches on the wall and long sleepless nights. Because we made us a priority even when we felt we had nothing more to give at the end of the day, our relationship thrived in a season where it could have easily shriveled and suffered immensely.

In the kitchen I’m willing spring to come regardless of what it looks like outside. I won’t allow myself to sit around and simply watch the rain streak down my windows while there are delicious things to be enjoyed right now. This hearty yet healthful salad is a tip toe into spring as it’s laced with fragrant herbs and peppery greens. It is indeed decidedly green, which to me is the color of spring with fresh, bright and pungent herbs leading the charge.

If Israeli couscous is tricky to find you could easily substitute it for chickpeas, rice, lentils, quinoa or simply leave it out and serve as a more traditional salad. The same goes for the lamb. I love the gentle gaminess here but chicken, beef, fish or even grilled peppers and zucchini would all be lovely in its place.

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Grilled Lamb Salad with Couscous

Prep 15 mins

Cook 15 mins

Total 30 mins

Author Ashley Rodriguez

Yield 2 servings

This salad pairs beautifully with a glass of Chateau St. Jean Cabernet Sauvignon

Ingredients

1 pound lamb shoulder

Salt and pepper

1/2 cup Israeli couscous, cooked until just tender

4 cups assorted spring greens (mustard, arugula, watercress, friseé)

1 cup cherry tomatoes, halved

1/2 cup chopped cucumber

1/3 cup crumbled feta

1/4 cup sliced red onion

Lime wedges

1/2 cup basil and mint leaves

Dressing:

1/2 cup mint leaves, finely minced

1/2 cup basil leaves, finely minced

1/2 teaspoon ground cumin

2 tablespoons champagne vinegar

1/2 teaspoon honey

1 teaspoon dijon mustard

1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil

salt

Instructions

Chef 1: Salt and pepper the lamb. Grill or roast until medium-rare, 145°F.

Chef 2: Prepare the dressing by whisking together the herbs, cumin, vinegar, honey, dijon and olive oil. Add a pinch of salt then taste and adjust the seasoning to your tastes.

Chef 1: On a serving platter arrange the greens, then the couscous, tomatoes, cucumber, feta, and onion. Drizzle on some of the dressing then top with the lamb and add more dressing. Top with more fresh herbs and a squeeze of lime.

Chef 2: If the wine hasn’t been poured do so now.

Courses Dinner

*This post is another in our Date Night series with Chateau St. Jean. For those of you who love a good glass of white wine you will love this recipe which pairs beautifully with their full bodied Chardonnay with aromas of peach and vanilla spice on the nose. Be sure to check out their site for more great date night recipes.

Date nights are the time to fry parsley. The other days, where there are five mouths to feed and several of them claim allergies to green things, are for simple food and continual reminders to eat your vegetables. But date nights, those are for long simmered risottos, chicken thighs seared to a crisp and emerald leaves fried until their green brightens and pungent grassy flavor turns deep and almost meaty.

Gabe and I tucked into April Bloomfield’s restaurant, The Breslin, during a quick book tour trip to NYC. The clock said breakfast time but our stomachs still on west coast time demanded a burger and caesar salad. There I met fried parsley. It sat high and mighty atop my salad while its statuesque figure intrigued me. Using my fingers I plucked the garnish and bit into the leaf which shattered on my tongue. “Taste this!” I demanded of Gabe with a giddy excitement that he delights in but doesn’t always seem to understand. “It’s good.” He said trying, yet failing, to match my glee.

It tasted almost like anchovy. Sure anchovy was in the salad but somehow the herb itself, light in flavor when fresh, took on a hearty, savory taste once fried.

These are the sort of things that get me excited about our date. I mean of course I love the time with my husband too but sometimes it’s the food nerd in me that marvels at the wonder of fried parsley that motivates me to bound into the kitchen to make us a meal worthy of a date.

Is it too early to imagine spring’s arrival? Perhaps but I like to think that this recipe tips to that notion. It’s comforting and hearty but not heavy. Sure there’s a good bit of cheese and a robust roastiness from the cauliflower but it’s not overly indulgent. Maybe it’s because the meal goes perfectly with a glass of chardonnay that my mind is already dreaming about crisp glasses of wine sipped slowly in the sun. Soon enough.

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Crispy Chicken Thighs with Roasted Cauliflower Risotto

Prep 20 mins

Cook 30 mins

Total 50 mins

Author Ashley Rodriguez

Yield 2 Servings

This dish pairs beautifully with Chardonnay.

Ingredients

1/2 head cauliflower, cored and roughly chopped

2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, divided

Salt and pepper

1 large shallot, finely diced

1 thyme sprig

1 cup arborio rice

1/2 cup dry white wine

4 cups low sodium chicken broth, warmed

1 cup grated comté or gruyere cheese

4 small sprigs Italian Parsley

2 bone-in chicken thighs

2 tablespoons toasted pine nuts

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 450°F.

Chef 1: Add the cauliflower to a baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and add salt and pepper. Roast for 20 – 25 minutes or until tender and caramelized in parts.

Chef 2: Add 1 tablespoon olive oil to a dutch oven set over medium heat. Add the shallots and thyme with a pinch of salt and sauté until soft, about 7 minutes. Sauté the rice with the shallots for just a couple of minutes before adding the wine. Stir until the wine is absorbed then start stirring in the chicken stock 1/2 cup at a time making sure the liquid is absorbed before each addition.

Cook until the rice is tender. The risotto would be quite loose when finished. Stir in the cheese then taste and add more salt as needed. Remove the thyme sprig before serving.

Chef 1: Sear the chicken in a hot skillet, skin side down, for 5 minutes. Carefully flip over the chicken then bake in a 350°F oven for 15 minutes or until cooked through. Remove the chicken from the pan to rest then very carefully add the parsley to the hot skillet and fry in the chicken grease until crisp, about 30 seconds.

Chef 2: Serve the risotto and chicken with the toasted pine nuts and crispy parsley.

Chef 1: Pour the wine.

Courses Dinner

*This post is the third in our Date Night In series with Chateau St. Jean. They (and we) believe wine and date nights are a great pair. This month we’re cozying up with their Cabernet Sauvignon with rich berry and soft spice notes that pair beautifully with my recipe for a Chocolate Tart with Poached Pears.

Recently I gave an interview in which I was asked something to the effect of “How do you avoid the stress of the holidays?” I understand that question, absolutely. There are so many extra things that make their way onto the already packed to do list and then there are all the things I feel like I ‘should’ be doing. Making crafts with the kids, bringing homemade treats to all the neighbors, buying the perfect gifts, saying a resounding YES! to all the parties, and decorating my home to rival that of a December West Elm catalogue. But mostly what I felt as I read that question was a pang of sadness.

The holidays and stress shouldn’t go hand in hand. I know, wishful thinking right? And completely naive perhaps. Money can be tight, family can be a burden to some and others may just not be particular into the holidays. I can empathize with that but what I love about the holidays, when they are freed up from expectations and ‘shoulds’, is that their purpose is to bring hope, joy and peace. What if we actively sought out those moments during this busy time? I wonder what I would say yes to and what would get a resounding NO! And can we all agree that we need to stop ‘should-ing’ on ourselves?

In seasons of great busyness our date nights are often the first to go. They quickly fall off the calendar to make way for another task we’ve deemed somehow more important than our own connection. This season I’m fighting valiantly to put joy above tasks, peace above stress, and a quiet date night with my husband above yet another trip to Target.

Now I realize this season is already a bit indulgent but I firmly believe that a quiet evening alone with your partner deserves a bit of fanfare in the form of deeply blushed pears and bittersweet chocolate. The enviable pears bath in a mixture of wine, cinnamon, star anise and sugar while hot cream turns a flurry of chopped chocolate into what Gabe deems “the best chocolate pudding ever”. The wine that dressed the pears in a stunning holiday frock reduces to a syrupy sauce for serving. Save any leftover sauce for vanilla ice cream.

Chocolate Tart with Chateau St. Jean Cabernet Sauvignon Poached Pears

Serves 6 to 8 (makes one 9 or 10-inch tart)

Pair with Cabernet Sauvignon or Merlot

1 recipe pie or tart dough

2 cups Chateau Ste. Jean Cabernet Sauvignon or Merlot

1 cup sugar

1 cinnamon stick

2 star anise

1 cup heavy cream

1 1/2 cups chopped semi-sweet or bittersweet chocolate

salt

2 to 3 firm pears, peeled

Whipped cream, for serving

Chef 1: Preheat your oven to 350°F. Line a 9-inch tart pan with the pie dough and bake until golden and crisp, about 20 - 30 minutes. Let cool completely.

Chef 2: In a small saucepan combine the wine, sugar, cinnamon stick and star anise. Add the pears then bring to a boil, reduce the heat and simmer until the pears are tender when poked with a knife, about 30 minutes. As the pears simmer gently spoon over the wine and rotate them every now and again so they poach evenly.

Chef 1: In another small saucepan warm the cream just to a simmer then pour over the chocolate. Let this sit for a minute, add a pinch of salt then stir well to combine. Carefully pour this into the tart. Let this sit until the chocolate is mostly firm.

Chef 2: Remove the pears from the wine and let cool slightly before cutting them in half. Carefully lay the pear halves on the tart. Drizzle the tops of the pears with the wine syrup.

Chef 1: Pour a couple of glasses of wine.

Chef 2: Serve the tart with a nice dollop of lightly sweetened cream.

*This post is the second in our series with Chateau St. Jean Winery in Sonoma. Wine and date nights are like peanut butter and jelly; made for each other. So we’re bringing back Date Night In here on the blog with great recipes and wine pairings to make a date night at home something to celebrate.

Our first (and only) fondue pot was green. Looking back perhaps green may not have been the best choice as the cheese that filled its deep bowl took on its olive tone. I thought we needed it. We were newly married and I was just taking a deep dive into my love of food so a fondue pot seemed a necessary investment, both for its promise of romance and heaping amounts of cheese. Somehow I overlooked the fact that we had no money and never ate fondue.

We used it once. The bowl was so large it required pounds of cheese in order to stay molten for longer than five minutes. We never figured out how to keep the tea light from scorching the cheese at the bottom while the top required a knife to cut through. What was suppose to be a romantic meal ended up causing undue stress and lots of leftover cheese. The fondue pot lived in the back of the cupboard before it was moved to the garage and then finally donated to Goodwill along with everybody else’s fondue pots.

But I wasn’t giving up on the idea of sharing a meal of melted cheese with the man I love because nothing says romance like a meal eaten with your hands. Strange? Maybe. To me it feels comfortable and and yes even just a little bit sensual (sorry, kids). It’s a meal made for lingering, for slowly dipping roasted potatoes into melted cheese and cutting the richness with slices of crisp apple. For conversations that outlast the candles on the table and for the evenings when you need the date but don’t care to spend hours in the kitchen.

Two questions always come up when people ask me about my book, Date Night In. What’s your favorite meal in the book? I love them all, truly, but the fried chicken and black pepper biscuit sandwich with the bourbon butterscotch ice cream pie for dessert is probably one of my finest moments. What’s your favorite EASY date night meal? The answer is always fondue. In the book I write about Raclette – a Swiss mountain cheese that requires nothing more than a hot oven and few things for dipping. But when there’s a bit more time (I mean we’re only talking about ten minutes here) I turn to this Roasted Chanterelle Fondue.

There’s no need to dig into the depths of your cupboard or scour the shelves at Goodwill for a fondue pot – a hearty cast iron skillet or small sauté pan will work. You don’t even need fresh Chanterelles, although that is ideal, dried ones work beautifully or use another favorite mushroom.

I really do love spending hours in the kitchen, folding butter into delicate layers, tenderly whisking olive oil and egg yolks into creamy submission, and watching sugar transform from snow to straw to copper but I also love it when a few ingredients somehow, as if by magic, turn into something that, just for a moment, takes your breath away. I love knowing that I really had so little to do with it, you know? Then I can simply sit back and take it all in as the gift it is and enjoy the company of my date. Sure I’ll take credit as he nods in appreciation, I’ll even let him believe that I worked tirelessly in the kitchen so that he does all the dishes while I slowly finish my wine.

This dish is just how I always want my dates with my husband to feel – special but simple, comfortable yet romantic. Marriage isn’t always easy but dinner can be.

Chanterelle and Gruyere Fondue

Serves 2

Pair with Pinot Noir

6 ounces fresh chanterelles, cleaned and roughly chopped or 1 ounce dried chanterelles

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 1/2 tablespoons finely chopped shallot

3/4 cup white wine

1/2 tablespoon cornstarch

1/2 pound/ 2 cups grated gruyere

For serving:

Sliced baguette

Roasted potatoes

Slice apple or pears

Cornichons

Dijon mustard

Chef 1: If you’re using dried chanterelles soak them in hot water for 10 minutes then drain.

Chef 2: Roughly chop the chanterelles.

Chef 1: In a medium saucepan sauté the shallots in olive oil until translucent, about 5 minutes over medium high heat. Add the chanterelles along with a hefty pinch of salt and a few grinds of pepper.

Chef 2: In a medium bowl toss the grated gruyere with the cornstarch until evenly coated.

Chef 1: Turn down the heat and carefully add the white wine.

While Chef 1 stirs, Chef 2 slowly adds the cheese, waiting until it melts before adding the next addition.

Chef 1: Add the cheese to a fondue pot, or if that’s not available simply pour the cheese into an oven-safe bowl and rewarm as needed.

Chef 2: Pour two glasses of Pinot Noir.

Serve the fondue with baguette, roasted potatoes, apple and pear slices, cornichons, and dijon.

* I’m thrilled to introduce you to a partnership I’m especially proud of and excited about. Chateau St. Jean Winery in Sonoma contacted us several months ago after seeing our book, Date Night In. They loved the concept and I think it was pretty clear to them that Gabe and I are not only fans of dating each other but we also love wine. It’s a natural pair. Throughout the Fall and through Spring I will be bringing back the original series that inspired my first cookbook; Date Night In. I am so excited to share with you more stories about marriage and the intentionality needed to keep it going, stunning recipes with wine pairings, and beautiful videos shot by my brother, Chris Baron. Very special thanks to Chateau St. Jean for sponsoring this series.

Over five years ago Gabe and I started dating in. Then our kids were 5, 3, and too young to even have a number. We were deep in the parenting gig; changing diapers, scraping stale cheerios off the floor, and bandaging scraped knees multiples times a day. By the end of the day we’d congratulate ourselves for surviving and then retreat to our own corners until we fell asleep. Yes, we were surviving but as a couple, as a team, we weren’t thriving. And some seasons that’s really all you can do. When you bring a newborn home from the hospital I wouldn’t attempt much more than feeding yourself and your baby but as months passed and our newborn started to crawl and then walk and then beat up her brothers, we knew we couldn’t pass through this entire season without making a serious effort to connect in a deep and meaningful way.

If you’ve been a long time reader of the blog (thank you, I adore you!) or if you have the book (you’re the best!) then you know the story. You know that our exhaustion turned into a commitment to continue to date. One night a week, after the kids were in bed Gabe and I would turn on some music, change our spit-up covered shirts (maybe) and sit at our table to a meal I prepared (Gabe was in charge of bedtime and wine pouring) and then date one another. What was once deemed a consolation prize to actually going out on a real date turned out to be our preferred method of dating. We loved the privacy, the ease and the comfort we felt in our own home. These fun, intimate evenings took a marriage of roommates and turned it into one of intimacy, joy, and growth.

The other day this email landed in my inbox:

“Thanks for reminding my wife and me how we need to slow down and enjoy ourselves like we used to. Life had tired us out and we kept putting off “us” for another time. Hopefully, we can keep this in sight from now on.”

I keep reading that phrase “Life had tired us out” because yes, life does that doesn’t it? No matter the stage, the season, if you have kids or if you don’t, life is exhausting. You can’t wait for a time when you aren’t tired from life to invest in your relationship – you just have to do it. Gabe and I turned our date nights into a cookbook and collection of narratives and I am continually so encouraged by emails like this of others starting to date again and seeing the amazing benefits to their relationship.

Our date nights don’t look like they did even two years ago when the book came out. And that’s okay. Now that our kids are in school sometimes Gabe and I will take ourselves out to brunch or we’ll cook lunch here. When the weather allows it we’ll pop in a movie for the kids while the two of us head outside to the grill and enjoy some fish tacos. Our date nights change and evolve just like we do but their importance remains the same. Whatever we do, wherever we are in life we need to stay connected, we need to remind ourselves that we are one unit made up of two individuals – a living breathing being that needs to be fed and nurtured in order to thrive.

Smoky Fish Tacos with Herby Salsa Verde and Slaw

Serves 2

Pair these fish tacos with Chateau St. Jean’s fruity and well balanced chardonnay.

For the fish:

3/4 pound piece of white fish

Zest and juice from 1/2 lime

Salt

Olive oil

1/2 teaspoon chipotle chile powder

For the salsa:

10 tomatillos, husks removed

1/2 white onion, peeled

4 garlic cloves

1/2 jalapeño (more or less depending on how spicy you like your salsa)

2 cups fresh herbs, packed (parsley, cilantro, mint, basil)

1 tablespoon olive oil

For the slaw:

1/2 head cabbage finely sliced

1 teaspoon cumin seeds

1/2 teaspoon sea salt

Juice from 1/2 lime

For the crema:

1 cup sour cream

1/2 teaspoon chipotle powder

Lime zest and juice

salt

For serving:

Corn tortillas

Sliced Avocado

Wood grilling plank, soaked in water for at least 1 hour

Chef 1: Season the fish with the lime zest and juice, salt, chipotle powder and olive oil. Let sit for 20 minutes before placing the fish on the soaked wood plank and grill until the fish just starts to flake, about 10 minutes. Let the fish rest.

Chef 2: Put the tomatillos, onion, jalapeño, and garlic on a roasting tray with a bit of olive oil and salt. Roast in a 425°F oven for 20 to 25 minutes until tender and caramelized in parts. Carefully transfer the roasted vegetables to a blender and blend with the fresh herbs until creamy. Add the olive oil and a hefty pinch of salt and blend again. Taste and adjust seasonings as needed.

Chef 1: In a large bowl combine the sliced cabbage, salt, lime and cumin. Let this sit for at least 10 minutes.

Chef 2: Stir together the sour cream, chipotle powder, lime and salt. Taste and adjust seasoning as needed.

Chef 1: Grill the tortillas just until warmed through.

Chef 2: Set the table and pour the wine!

Chef 1 and 2: Enjoy the tacos.

We had two children in diapers when we started dating at home. All three of them were in bed by 7:00 pm and generally we could count on a quiet house around 7:30. We weren’t getting a lot of sleep at night, they surrounded us morning, noon, and night, and they needed us constantly. In that season it seemed as if our only way to stay connected regularly was to make our home a setting for us to date.

So we shoved the crayons off the table, tucked the dirty laundry under the couch, and maybe lit a candle or two before sitting down to dinner; just the two of us. These evenings turned into a cookbook, as many of you know, and more importantly they sustained our marriage in a time where we had to fight with intention and battle through the exhaustion.

Now our three are in school. They are much more independent, waking up to pour their own bowls of cereal or toasting their own bread. They can handle putting on their pants, packing up their bags, and while we do still step on small toys on an almost daily basis we don’t have to be afraid that any of them will put them in their mouths. They’re in bed by 8:00 but the house is still buzzing with little chatter until 9:00. They have so much to catch up on after being away from one another all day.

Let me just pause for a moment and assure those of you who are reading this with a baby on your lap or a toddler pawing for your attention, that someday those little ones will grow older. They won’t demand as much of you as they do now and they will grow into amazing little people and you get to watch it all. It’s as wonderful, hard, and fulfilling as you hope it will be.

Gabe and I have had a clunky return to dating at home this year. We would set aside the time but without having a book to write and honestly, I had needed a bit of space from it all, it just seemed too hard. But the necessary things in life are often the hardest and our failure to date has, at many times, left us feeling very distant and disconnected. It shows up in small ways like when I take a comment he makes and meet it with defense because I’m feeling guilty for not making more intention to connect. Or when I say something I shouldn’t in a tone that nobody wants to hear because I’m feeling vulnerable. We have felt the effectiveness of our weekly dates and can now quickly recognize the difference in our friendship when we connect regularly and when we don’t.

It wasn’t until we released what those date nights used to be and started to see that now, in a new season, they can be something else completely. The point isn’t the multi-course meal eaten while three kids sleep in the comfort of our home. The point is connection and we must actively pursue that in any and every season for our relationship to continue to thrive. What once worked so well for us may look different now that so many other things in our life look different. Once we embraced that thinking about dating, it felt new, exciting, and possible again.

We still sometimes sit down to our table once the house is quiet, with a glass of wine in hand and a meal that suits our tastes. Sometimes it’s a simple picnic on the beach that is now just a short walk from our new home. Or sometimes it’s going out to breakfast after our three kids are off to school. The point is still the same it just may look a bit different now. No matter the season the point is to continue to pursue one another in friendship. As long as that is the constant we can weather any season.

This particular date we packed a simple picnic and walked down the beach. Most of the items in our basket I picked up from the store like cheese, crackers, pickled things, (my most favorite picnic item) fruit, and wine. I did manage to make us a simple salad. One that has been on repeat since. It’s a mix of all things green: charred green beans cooked until sweet, peppery arugula, green lentils boiled with a bit of bite still remaining, and pistachios. And then, though not green, lots and lots of seeds – toasted until deeper in color and fragrant. The type of seeds depends only on the contents of my pantry but I have found that fennel, cumin and sesame all play a vital role. If pistachios aren’t readily available, pumpkin seeds do nicely as well. We top our salad with large flakes of smoked trout, but I’ll leave that up to you as well.  

As I mention in the video below, the picnic really isn’t about the food. Of course that’s what often inspires the trip or gets me giddy about it all in the first place but once we’ve set up the blanket, unloaded the basket, and cleaned our plates, that’s when the purpose of our time reveals itself. Food and a bit of wine become the icebreaker and ease us into the point of it all – connection. It’s why I love food so much; it gives us a purpose for gathering around the table, or in this case, the beach. What happens while the food and wine are being enjoyed is what matters most.

This post was kindly sponsored by Mirassou Winery and they are thrilled to be giving away the picnic basket and blanket you see in the images (not exactly the ones I use, yours will be brand new, I assure you) as well as a few of my favorite picnic items (most made right here in Seattle) including smoked olive oil, Boat Street Pickled Raisins, Ayako & Family Plum Jam, and Salted Chocolate Chip cookie mix from yours truly.

To enter, simply leave a comment below and I will randomly select a winner on October 16th. (Must be 21 years of age or older to be eligible to win. Residents of Utah are not eligible to participate. Link to official rules at LINK HERE.)  

Charred Green Bean and Lentil Salad

Serves 2 (with some to spare)

1 cup French green lentils (if you can find them, if not another type will do)

4 ounces (about 3 cups) green beans, cut into 1-inch pieces

2 tablespoons finely minced shallot

1 tablespoon dijon mustard

1/2 teaspoon honey

1 tablespoon white wine vinegar

3 tablespoons olive oil

salt and pepper

2 cups arugula

2 tablespoons toasted seeds (sesame, fennel, mustard, poppy, cumin, etc.)

2 tablespoons roughly chopped and toasted pistachios

1 whole smoked trout

Recommended pairing: Mirassou Sauvignon Blanc

Cook the lentils in salted water until just tender. Drain them then run under cold water to halt the cooking. Set the lentils aside.

In a large skillet set over high heat add a couple glugs of olive oil then toss in the green beans. Sprinkle in a hefty pinch of salt then let the beans get a nice char on one side before giving them a stir. Continue to saute in this way until the beans are tender and charred on most sides, about 5 to 7 minutes. Let the beans sit for a moment while you make the vinaigrette.

In a large bowl whisk together the shallot, dijon, honey, vinegar, and olive oil. Season with a bit of salt and pepper to taste. It should taste bright and briny as it will taste more mellow once all the ingredients have been added.

To the bowl add the green beans and lentils. Toss to combine.

Finally add in the toasted seeds in whatever variety you have but I really love a sesame, poppy, fennel, mustard and cumin mixture. Nigella seeds are really lovely too if you happen to have them.

Also add the pistachios and finish with a bit of flake salt.

If you are packing this for a picnic line the bottom of your container with arugula then top with the lentils. If a picnic is not in the plans then simply toss the arugula in with the lentils and finish with big flakes of smoked trout. Serve immediately.

At the picnic you can fillet the trout and top the salad there.

Serve with Mirassou Sauvignon Blanc.

images by Karen Mordechai | Sunday Suppers

I love the intersection of internet life and real life. Where online friends become real friends, food becomes more than a pretty picture but rather a meal to share, and someone that you’ve put on a pedestal becomes someone that you share the table with.

This happened for me last month when Gabe and I traveled to NYC to teach a class at the stunning studios of Sunday Suppers. It is Karen Mordechai’s home away from home and it is a cook and photographers dream. It is the sort of space that breeds creativity the moment you step into its massive white expanse.

Karen along with her cheery and talented team crafted the menu all from recipes from, Date Night In. But what I love is that the dinner and menu focused on good home cooking. And I think it reminded even me that the recipes in the book can be so much more than date night fodder.

On her blog, Karen is sharing the recipe for Cacio e Pepe, this Grapefruit Olive Oil Cake with Bittersweet Chocolate and even more of her beautiful photos from our time together. 

This cake is one that suites the date night table but also belongs on your plate the next morning with a cup of coffee in hand. It can be dressed up with a touch of crème fraîche and a sprinkle of flake salt as we served it at our dinner in New York or dressed down covered in aluminum foil and enjoyed in the cab on the way to the airport, as I did the next day.

It’s sweet and bitter, scented with fragrant olive oil and capped with a cascading white glaze with flecks of pink grapefruit zest. Similarly to some of the best things in life (wine and people) this cake becomes even more pronounced and dignified with a bit of time. Yesterday’s cake is best enjoyed today.

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images by Karen Mordechai | Sunday Suppers

Grapefruit Olive Oil Cake with Bittersweet Chocolate

Today is the day that makes the book officially a full-fledged book; it’s publication day.

I’m not quite sure what I expected this day to feel like but so far it feels very normal. I’m still in my pajamas sitting on the couch with three little ones surrounding me being entertained by various means (mostly technology related) and the house is completely cluttered with the remains of the holidays.

And in other ways it is completely abnormal. Today I’m a published author. I wrote a book that is sitting on shelves all over the country so anyone could potentially walk over to the book, read some of my most personal thoughts and glance over the recipes that fed my relationship over the last couple of years, then hopefully they’d buy it (or multiple copies) and tell all their friends about it. Or they could go to Amazon and write a scathing review. Somehow either option makes me terrified.

What helps with all that terror are the amazing comments, texts, emails, and photos I see of the book on Instagram. It is such an incredible feeling to see something I’ve spent over three years on finally out in the world, being used, read and loved. So thank you. There are so many words but I’m having a hard time finding them in the midst of the fear, pride, anticipation, exhaustion, and downright giddiness that apparently accompanies one’s pub date.

So rather than a lot of words I thought we’d celebrate the day with a recipe from the book. It’s a favorite of ours (honestly, they all are) that is not only perfect for a date night but really for any night and as an added bonus, it’s pretty healthy too. If you’re like me, after all those cookies, cocktails and cream-filled dishes a broth-based, vegetal, stew-like soup is just what is needed. The bonus of this soup is that you can practically build a salad of cilantro, radish, avocado, and onion right on top.

But before that, a few housekeeping items. I’ll just go ahead and put these here:

Amazon 

Indie Bound

Book Larder (order here for a signed copy!)

Powell’s (the cover here is not the most recent edition)

Running Press

UK

Waterstones

Amazon

Canada

Amazon

Also, if you are in Seattle I believe there still are a few tickets to our Date Night In at Delancey dinner. Check out BookLarder.com for more informations and tickets.

PORTLAND – don’t make any Valentine’s plans, I’ve got you covered. More soon!

And this is for those of you in LA and NYC: I’ve had to postpone my trip to see you all as we’ve come across a bit of a book shortage (thanks for all the orders!!) but I can’t wait to see you in March! Details coming soon.

Okay. Enough. Go make some Pozole and let’s all raise a glass to a beautiful start to 2015. Thanks, as always, for being here. 

Roasted Green Pozole with Chicken

By the time our date rolls around, the sun is nearly set and there’s a slight chill in the air that makes this roasted, fragrant stew a perfect late-summer (or anytime, really) evening meal. It’s vibrant and fresh yet pleasantly hearty from roasted and ground pepitas.The original recipe comes from Gourmet magazine, but I’ve since made many changes throughout its life in our home.The biggest change being the pan-roasting of the tomatillos and garlic, which gives the soup a soft smokiness and a bit more complexity.

SERVES 4

1⁄2 cup / 60 g roasted, salted pepitas, plus more for garnish

1 teaspoon cumin seeds, toasted (technique in the book)

2 tablespoons vegetable oil, divided

10 ounces / 280 g tomatillos (about 4 to 5 medium size), peeled and quartered

3 garlic cloves

1 large yellow onion, roughly chopped, plus more for serving

1 jalapeño pepper, halved and seeded

1⁄2 cup / 10 g chopped fresh cilantro, divided

1 to 11⁄2 teaspoons kosher salt

1 teaspoon dried oregano

21⁄2 to 3 cups / 590 to 710 ml chicken stock, homemade (recipe in the book) or store-bought

4 boneless, skinless chicken thighs, thinly sliced

1 (15-ounce / 430 g) can hominy, drained and rinsed

To serve: any combination of thinly sliced radishes, sliced avocado, chopped cilantro, pepitas, lime wedges, diced onion, crumbled Cotija, and sour cream or crema.

Grind the pepitas and cumin seeds in a spice grinder or blender until finely ground.

Add 1 tablespoon oil to a large pot or Dutch oven over medium-high heat.

When the oil is hot, add the tomatillos, garlic, onion, and jalapeño to the pot, along with a pinch of salt. Roast in the pan for 10 to 15 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables are charred, caramelized in parts, and tender.

Carefully transfer the roasted vegetables to a food processor or blender and process along with 1⁄4 cup / 5 g chopped cilantro and 1 teaspoon salt.

Add the remaining 1 tablespoon oil to the pot over medium heat. Return the purée to the pot and cook, stirring frequently until thickened, for 5 to 7 minutes. Scrape up the deeply flavored browned bits on the bottom of the pot. Stir in the ground pepitas and cumin seeds, along with the oregano and 1 cup / 240 ml stock. Bring to a simmer and then add the remaining 11⁄2 cups / 360 ml stock, chicken, and hominy.

Let this simmer, mostly covered, for 20 minutes. Stir in the remaining 1⁄4 cup / 5 g chopped cilantro. Taste and adjust seasonings, adding more salt if you feel it needs it. I prefer the pozole to be thick, like a stew, but if you want it thinner, add more stock. Pozole can be made 1 to 3 days in advance, and in fact the flavor improves after a rest in the fridge. Leftovers can be refrigerated for up to 1 week.

Serve with the accompaniments.

Photos by Boone Rodriguez

I didn’t just make a movie and yet I’m here to show you a trailer. It feels a little weird and yet I love it. The trailer, I mean. It’s incredibly personal (hello, home movies) but it should be because so is the book.

It’s that honesty and vulnerability in the book that led me to my first (of many, I imagine) complete breakdowns. I mean we’re talking locked in a pitch black bathroom attempting to catch my breath in a pile of damp towels while the kids stand outside the door wondering what’s wrong with mama. “Mama, what are you doing? Are you laughing or crying?” Yeah, that sort of breakdown.

I’m sort of stuck in this dual world of terror and excitement. I’m eager for you all to finally see the book and just really hoping that you all love it and benefit from it as much as we do and have.

I’ll leave it at that and then point you to this incredibly heartfelt post my friend Tara wrote a couple years ago and then shared with me after I saw her the other day. She could see the terror all over me. I needed these words. I just told her in an email that this post was as if she went into my brain and put words to all my nonsense.

So, the trailer.

I’ve told you this before and I’ll tell you again, my brother, Chris Baron, is amazingly talented. He put this together (along with some great help from my ever-supportive husband).

Watch, enjoy, and if you feel so inclined please share it. Because as much as this whole thing terrifies me the desire to have this message shared far exceeds the fear.

Date Night In Book Trailer from Not Without Salt on Vimeo.

*Also, don’t forget about our pop-up this Sunday. We’re selling cookie mix, fresh roasted Mae James and sweet treats from my friend, Sasha from Tending the Table. Sunday (12/7) 12 – 4 1405 NW 70th St. 98117

photos by Boone Rodriguez

I had a dream the other night, a nightmare really, about seeing my book for the first time. I ripped into its yellow parcel pouch with the same enthusiasm as my four-year-old at Christmas. I flipped over the cover so I could take in the culmination of three years worth of work but inside I found hideous beige and fabric textured paper with a similarly beige font. Instantly any hope I had of people actually reading the book were dashed. They made a last minute change to divide the book by meals which made no sense for a date night book (let’s just say the breakfast chapter was very lacking) and there was one whole section dedicated to the fried chicken and biscuit sandwich (maybe that’s not so bad after all). The narratives were tucked in the back like an afterthought and the images were small and often distorted.

The rest of the night I lay there trying to convince a very nervous and anxious self that “it was just a bad dream. They wouldn’t really print beige-on-beige. Go back to sleep.”

It feels surreal to be at this place. Less than two months from the pub date, I mean. It seems like I’m the only one who feels like this time has flown by. Perhaps that’s because I’ve been deep in the process of actually creating it as I’ve watched the due dates come and go and poured myself into the project every step of the way. So much so that while I’m absolutely thrilled to finally be able to share it with you all, I’m also a bit terrified.

You may have noticed a lull here over the past couple of years. Those of you who have been reading the site for years may have noticed posts that were a bit more light, quick and airy. I’m still proud of those posts and stand by the recipes they served but I tried real hard to save all of myself for the book. I wanted to stand at the point where I am at today and say, “I am damn proud of this book.” And guess what guys, I am really damn proud of this book.

I have tears in my eyes as I write that because I am so happy with how true that statement is and I also know how hard it is for me to say that about anything I create.

I’m proud of this book for many reasons; the food is ridiculous (I’m convinced that the Salted Chocolate Pecan Ice Cream Pie with Bourbon Butterscotch and Pretzel Crust is worth the cost of the book alone) the photos make the food look as good as it tasted, and this book was created by a village. But what makes me the most proud is that this book is about so much more than the food. As much as I love food what I really love is what happens around the table and what happened around our table last year gave us the absolute best year of our marriage.

Side note: Writing a book about date nights is the best accountability to actually having a weekly date night. I highly recommend it.

A couple weeks ago I was speaking at a Food Blogger’s conference about being vulnerable on the blog; the importance of that and why I do it. Inevitably the book came up because this book is quite possibly the most vulnerable I have ever been. Tears streamed down my face as I stood up on stage and told the audience about this project. I found myself anticipating the question of “why do it if it makes you so scared?”

This is what I told them; “I’m terrified. I’m afraid of this book being judged or me being judged because of the book. I’m very afraid of bad amazon reviews. But I will take that fear any day if it means that I get to share my heart, my passion and myself with others in the hope that someone may find help, hope and inspiration in it.”

I don’t want to live a safe life, I want a meaningful one.

Last night I got an email from my editor that the book is one its way. The moment I’ve dreamed (nightmared) about is happening in a matter of days and I couldn’t be more excited and yes, terrified. You all will have to wait a bit longer before you get to hold the book in your hands but just as I reward my own children for their patience I plan to do the same for you.

While the book has over 120 recipes I couldn’t stop there so I went ahead and created five additional recipes that make up what we are affectionately calling our “Holi-DATE”.

The Holi-date is the perfect menu to celebrate surviving the craziness of the season that is right in front of us. Here’s the menu:

Classic Champagne Cocktail

Gruyere Gougeres

Stuffed Pork loin with Prosciutto and Prunes

Cranberry and Cabbage Slaw with Orange Ginger Vinaigrette

Chocolate Peppermint Shortbread

*Bonus* The extra Chocolate Peppermint Shortbread that you don’t eat for date night makes a great holiday gift.

I want you to all have these recipes but first I need you to do something for me: Pre-order the book. Please and thank you.

For the first 150 people who pre-order and then fill out this form I will send you a set of five beautifully designed (thanks, babe!) and photographed recipe cards along with a downloadable PDF of all the recipes from this menu. If you aren’t one of the first 150 don’t worry, you’ll still get the PDF.

You can choose to pre-order the books where ever you like (if you do so here it’ll be a signed copy!) the important thing is that you pre-order. I’m new to this whole book making and selling process but apparently the pre-orders are a big deal because bookstores like to see that the book is legit and people are totally into it. So thank you, thank you, thank you.

This is all just so huge for me, my family and my sweet friends who are ready and waiting to pass the tissues, raise a glass of bubbly and give me loads of hugs and eager pats on the back. All that to say, your support means so much to me. I can not wait to share this book with the world and to finally start the conversation that I’ve been writing about and thinking about for such a very long time.

Once you pre-order the book go to our book page (here) and fill in the form.

(The book page will be the home for all book tour events. I’ll be updating it regularly so don’t be afraid to become friendly with that page.)

Looking for where to pre-order? I’ve got you covered.

Amazon 

Indie Bound

Book Larder (pre-order here for a signed copy!)

Powell’s (the cover here is not the most recent edition)

Running Press

UK

Waterstones

Amazon

Canada

Amazon

“I want us to be a family that forages together.” I told Gabe.

“That’d be fun.” He responded not really knowing what that means or looks like but eagerly jumping on board as he often does when I come up with yet another lofty dream.

So we have a few books on our shelves that identify edible plants through scientific illustration, I’ve been out mushroom hunting once, and we’ve talked about taking the kids for hikes but that had been the extent of our foraging experience until one Friday afternoon in April.

Gabe and I were invited to choose a curated date through the site HowAboutWe for Couples. In their own words, “HowAboutWe is a company that helps people fall in love and stay in love.” In my own words, “it’s a company that helps couples such as ourselves plan fun dates because we are too overwhelmed with the idea to do it ourselves.”

We dropped off the kids at school then headed east and into the woods with local foraging expert, Langdon Cook. Along the three-mile path he identified miner’s lettuce, fiddlehead ferns, huckleberries, salmon berries, wild raspberries, Oregon berries, and stinging nettles.

Being in those woods was familiar. I grew up with the pacific northwest forest as my backyard and spent my days snacking on huckleberries and cursing the stings from nettles.

Wispy moss hung low on the trees casting a soft shadow on the green carpet below. Small buds appeared on a wild plum tree just starting to open up as the warmth of spring had just hit.

“Don’t even bother trying to get those plums.” Langdon told us. “The birds will beat you to them.”

Near a trickling stream he brushed aside the grass to show us the tightly curled sprouts of a lady fern.

“This is what you are looking for.” He said as we watched him clean off the brown outer layer to reveal a citron colored fiddlehead fern. After the first one he pointed out to us we continued to see them along the path and cried out with excitement with each spotting.

Our time in the woods with Langdon was about learning what to look for and quite frankly just about enjoying the time outside, being with my husband and away from work.

At home I wanted to take a bit of what we found in the woods and make a date night out of it. So I grabbed some gardening gloves, a few bags and took the kids to the park  after school.

“We’re looking for nettles.” I told the kids.

“Why?” They asked in fearful protest.

“Because I want to make something for dad for date night.”

It wasn’t long before the adventure felt like a treasure hunt and when we happened upon our first patch, lush with the bright green frilly leaves of stinging nettles, we all shrieked with delight.

I donned the gloves and for the first time in my life I picked stinging nettles. My childhood was about avoiding them and now I was gathering them for dinner.

Roman was eager to join in the harvesting until the nettles somehow stung him through the gloves. I was very empathetic when I dropped a freshly plucked branch on my sandal clad feet.

We carried on, quickly filling a bag and happily recounting our plans for pesto to the curious passers by.

Sure there had been a few stings but we did it. Well on our way to becoming a foraging family.

With the gloves still on I plunged our foraged treasure into a large pot of boiling water. I remember Langdon assuring us that after 20 seconds in a hot bath the nettles will lose their sting.

In our garden I foraged some mint and blended that along with the nettles, pine nuts, Parmesan, lemon juice and olive oil to make a grassy pesto to stir into our avocado soup.

I love that Gabe doesn’t think I’ve lost my mind when I take our three kids into the woods to gather stinging nettles for dinner. Or that he doesn’t laugh at the idea of learning how to distinguish deadly mushrooms from the delicious ones. In fact he not only encourages this sort of behavior in me, he comes home from a date in the woods then immediately signs us up for a membership to the mycological society and gets downright giddy at the idea of putting the membership sticker on our car.

When I say I want to write a cookbook he goes and gets my half-written proposal printed and turned into a book in order to push me closer to my dream. And when I talk about wanting to move our entire family to Italy for a season he fills out the paperwork for the kids’ passports so we’ll be ready to go on a moments notice. When I mention I want to start painting more there’s suddenly a little watercolor kit on my desk. He not only supports my dreams, he takes the first step before I do. He’s the one, quietly in the background pushing me, encouraging me and inspiring me to keep on coming up with ideas like taking our family out into the woods to gather the ingredients for our dinner together. Without him I’m not sure I’d be so brave.

We make a good team, he and I.

*This post was sponsored by HowAboutWe but the words, as always, are mine. I was eager to jump at the chance to tell you about this company because it’s a service that Gabe and I desperately need. We’ve got the dating at home thing down. But when it comes time to go out and enjoy our incredible city we are overwhelmed with the possibilities. HowAboutWe for Couples (they have a singles site too)  is all about wonderful experiences, tailored for two. Members browse the curated collection of local dates, pick the ones they like, and go.

There are dozens of dates to choose from. I was tempted by the tastings at local distilleries and beekeeping workshop and honey tasting but in the end the foraging trip won out.

Right now, HowAboutWe is located in NYC, San Francisco, Chicago, Seattle and LA. But if you sign up even if you aren’t in one of those cities, they will email you as soon as they are in your area.

If you sign up to become a member you automatically get great deals on some really creative date ideas in your area.
Go ahead and give it a try. See HowAboutWe’s collection of free dates here. Any company that gets couples to spend more time together doing fun things is good by me.

Chilled Avocado Soup with Mint & Nettle Pesto

Serves 2

1 avocado

1/2 small shallot roughly chopped

1 1/2 cups chicken or vegetable broth

1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

freshly ground pepper

Combine the avocado, shallot, broth, lemon juice, salt, and pepper in a blender. Blend until smooth adding more broth if you’d like a thinner soup. Serve right away or cover and refrigerate for one day.

Mint & Nettle Pesto

Langdon uses nettles wherever you would spinach - in pestos or nestled in between sheets of pasta along with ricotta. He says it is one of the most protein-rich plants and freezes beautifully so you can enjoy this taste of spring all year long.

I realize that many of you don’t have access to stinging nettles like we do. Feel free to substitute arugula, basil or Italian parsley for the nettles.

1 cup blanched, drained and chopped stinging nettles

1/4 cup fresh mint leaves

1 clove garlic, minced

1/3 cup pine nuts, toasted

1 tablespoon lemon juice

1/4 cup firmly packed grated Parmigiano Reggiano cheese

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

1/2 cup olive oil

Combine the nettles, mint leaves, garlic, pine nuts, lemon juice, Parmesan and salt in a blender, food processor or mortar and pestle. Mix until pureed then pour in the olive oil. Blend until it just comes together.

Use right away or cover and refrigerate for up to one week.

“What do you think it is?” I asked Gabe as we talked about the lack of connection we had both been feeling lately.

“I’m not sure.” He replied solemnly and with an exhausted sigh.

Our marriage had been moving smoothly just a couple weeks before this conversation. In fact we were better than smooth. On a recent trip away I had a moment standing next to my husband where I felt that there was no one else I would rather be with. I squeezed his hand a little tighter, looked up at his face and said, “You’re my favorite person.” “You’re mine too.” He said.

Then we came home and life settled back into a hectic routine. Even though we were only gone two days it seemed like it took us two weeks to get back into a rhythm.

“I’d like to think it’s because we haven’t had a date night in two weeks.” I said sort of jokingly. For one reason or another we pushed our at home date night’s aside. Well, I know the reasons. One of the weeks we went out on an actual go-out-of-the-house-date – to a fundraising dinner with a bit of schmoozing that I’m so terrible at. It was a wonderful evening of great food and wine for a cause that we both feel passionate about. And the other reason I hesitate to even mention because it’s ridiculous and almost a little too honest, even for me. But the truth is that I felt ahead on the book, you know, the one I’m writing about the importance of dating my husband. So I spent that week retesting a few recipes but never had an actual date night. The truth is, the book is keeping me incredibly accountable to actually dating my husband, which is an incredible gift but when I felt ahead on the book as a project, I failed to make our date night the priority it needs to be.

We had been going through our days feeling like the other would rather not have the other around. Little biting comments filled our conversation and pulled us further apart. But that night I was planning a date. A little reluctantly as I didn’t want to continue to face our awkward and at times painful conversations. When we let too much time slip in between the dates it is sometimes hard to establish that routine again but we did it.

Sitting down to dinner our conversation was like starting up an old car. It chugged, sputtered and smoked before the engine revved and purred. We cleared the table of our dishes then settled back onto the couch where we continued to talk until 1 am. It was a great conversation but that’s not really the point. We just talked, connected and felt like best friends again. I chose him over sleep the way I used to when we were dating and staying up way too late just to be near one another.

I fell asleep in his arms feeling hopeful and incredibly connected to him.

“It really does work.” I said to him the next morning.

“What works?”

“Our date nights.”

Of course I know they are good for us and I know that I enjoy indulging in the food that accompanies our date nights at home but to see us go from weeks of frustrating disconnection and feeling distant and against one another then after one night feeling completely connected  – well, it gave me even more passion for the book we’re creating.

So this week, even though our date night falls on the night America will be blowing things up and we’ll be driving 4 hours in a day to celebrate the blowing up of things with my family, and photo shoots, hanging out with friends and all the other stuff that fills up a week, I knew we needed a date. I kept it simple, which I’m not always known to do. We put the kids to bed in our too hot house and made ourselves a drink – well, more like a dessert/drink hybrid.

He plopped a still soft scoop of nectarine sorbet into my glass and splashed the bourbon and lemon juice that pooled in the bottom of the cup onto the table. Immediately the rose colored sorbet began to melt into the drink infusing the bourbon with its fragrant sweetness. Little specks of vanilla bean floated to the top while Gabe twisted a ragged piece of lemon peel over the glass misting it with a citrusy and floral perfume. I quickly snapped a few pictures of our cocktail before I whisked it off the table to enjoy it and my husband while the evening sun, still warm, set behind our neighbor’s house.

When we build the date nights into our weekly routine I find us eager to seize other opportunities to connect. A drink in the evening with my husband becomes a moment to build on intimacy. Even quick conversations throughout the day become easier and help build on our friendship. We send one another texts throughout the day – pictures of the kids, funny things we see, or just checking in on the other. Little things that add up to big things in the course of a lifetime together.

At the root of it all we both desire to be one another’s person. He wants to see me as his best friend and I long for him to be the one that I want to hang out with if given a choice of anyone. And when we both feel that then we are happy in the marriage. If something feels off it’s so often because our friendship is off.

The point is, these nights work. Dating your husband, your wife, whoever you doing life with, really works. I’ve seen it again and again in our marriage and the more I date my husband the more excited and passionate I become to spread this message. I feel like that 90 year-old juice fanatic, “If it works for me it can work for you.” And I guess I’m okay with that because we’re talking about marriages and relationships here – it’s a big deal. Just as we strive to feed our bodies foods that nourish and help our bodies thrive we need to feed the friendship in our marriages.

A relationship is built on friendship and friendship takes time. If you want to have a good friend you have to make the time.. If you want to be a good friend, that takes time too. And if there happens to be a bit a bourbon alongside that friendship building, well, I’m okay with that.

Bourbon Float with Nectarine Sorbet

It turns out Gabe and I have a thing for cocktails. The original plan for the book was to include a few but we just can’t stop ourselves. We are just having too much fun coming up with new ideas and all the “research” that goes along with that. This is one of our current favorites. Seattle is experiencing a bit of a heat wave currently and this grown-up float/slushie-type drink does good work of chasing away the heat. If you prefer peaches you can easily swap those in. I was also thinking plum might be nice.

If bourbon isn’t for you, go ahead and make the sorbet anyway. It’s good one to have around. The presence of alcohol in the sorbet is needed to prevent the sorbet from freezing too firm but you can use something other than bourbon if you prefer.

2 pounds (4-5) nectarines, pitted

1/2 cup dark brown sugar

1/2 cup water

1 vanilla bean, split

2 tablespoons bourbon (or other alcohol)

1/3 cup fresh lemon juice

1 teaspoon lemon zest

pinch salt

In a small saucepan combine the brown sugar, water and vanilla bean and bring to a boil, stirring until all the sugar is dissolved. Carefully stir in the bourbon and cook for 30 seconds more before removing from the heat. Set aside to cool for 30 minutes. Remove the vanilla bean (wash it off and set it in your sugar container to flavor your sugar with vanilla).

Puree the nectarines in a food processor. Carefully add the warm sugar syrup, lemon juice, zest and salt.

Strain this mixture and chill.

Process in your ice cream machine according to the instructions.

If this is destined for a cocktail you could just use the puree to flavor it or stick it in a freezer-safe container in the freezer and drag a fork all over the surface every 20 minutes or so. After a few hours you will have a fluffy granita which would make for a great bourbon slushie.

For the cocktail:

Place 1 1/2 ounces of bourbon in your cup along with 1-2 teaspoons of fresh lemon juice. Add 1 scoop of sorbet to the cup and finish with a splash of club soda. Twist a piece of lemon peel over the cup before gingerly tossing it in. Enjoy. Preferably outside with someone who you are quite fond of.

We sunk into the couch letting the cushions hug us as we sorted through the day and set out to recover from it. It was pretty typical aside from the Sharpie all over the carpet and the ipad getting peed on, but even typical days need a bit of recovery and a moment to breathe it in and then let it go.

Gabe and I laughed away the day and wondered how one goes about getting pee off of an ipad. We talked about getting new carpet or rearranging the room to cover up our 2 year old’s Sharpie rampage. “Or we could just put a frame over it and call it art.” I said as Gabe went into the kitchen and pulled out two bottles from the fridge.

“Champagne or beer?” He asked.

“Let’s go with beer.” I said, already anticipating the skunky farmhouse ale and knowing that I’d just drink the bottle of champagne with a friend the next night.

Regardless of what had happened earlier in the day, tonight we were celebrating.

And this is where I don’t know how to write this. Which is weird because I’ve been writing this post in my head for over three years and now that it is finally time I’m getting all sweaty, nervous and way too excited to put words to a page. But I’ll try; with a big green bottle of my favorite Saison, a bag of Juanita’s tortilla chips and an ice cream cake waiting for us in the freezer we toasted to our book. The one I’m writing. An actual tangible book that will be held in people’s hands (hopefully all of your hands!), in their kitchen, curled up with them on the couch and in bed. People will be reading my words, cooking from my recipes and drooling over my photos printed on paper. I can’t get over this. It will be published by Running Press and edited by Kristen Green Wiewora who also recently edited, Homemade with Love: Simple Scratch Cooking from In Jennie’s Kitchen. Which is stunning, by the way.

A date night seemed the perfect way for us to celebrate because the book is our date nights. It is our story of nourishing our relationship and the food that connects us. I could not to be happier that this is the book I’m writing. It is of course a subject that I’m incredibly passionate about – well, two subjects – my husband and food. This book is an extension of the series I started on this site called, Dating My Husband. These posts are often my favorite to write and always the best to read your comments and emails in response to. How you all have reacted to these posts is a huge reason why I’m writing this book. So many of you have opened yourself up to me telling me about your own struggles in your relationships and have encouraged me by saying how much these date nights have changed your relationships.

Gabe and I have been dating at home for several years now and although at times it’s tough to fight through the exhaustion when all I really want is someone else to cook for me (sometimes there’s takeout date nights and that’s great too) we are so encouraged by what these evenings have meant for our marriage. Over time they’ve gotten easier, we’ve learned to love the comfort of our own home and enjoy the quiet hours in the late evening. I’ve stretched myself in the kitchen, trying new things in order to make these meals feel a bit different from our everyday. Now I find myself longing for our date nights at home, looking forward to them all week and eagerly working on the menu days in advance.

Our book is 25 dates set up seasonally with each having its own menu and a helpful plan to make creating this menu simple, even if you have a full-time job and children underfoot. Each date begins with the story from our date where I open up to you about our marriage – the joys, the trials and the work it takes to make it thrive. It’s an honest look into our marriage of nearly 10 years and how we fumble through life together, with three kids and everything else that’s thrown at us. It’s honest, funny, encouraging, tough and incredibly delicious.

In the moments when I’m telling myself, “I can’t do this! What was I thinking?! ME?! Writing a book? Who’s going to read it? Buy it?” I turn to the table of contents and the food scattered throughout those pages. Just reading the names of the recipes I’m working on makes me incredibly hungry, eager for the recipes myself and assured that this book is going to be so freaking good! Ah! The food is special. It’s a bit grubby delicious in the way that’s not afraid to use cream and butter and yet it’s loaded with vegetables and uses all real ingredients. There’s plenty of salads along with cocktails and desserts.

Writing a book has been compared to the process of childbirth and while I can begin to see and understand the truth in that, right now I feel as if I’ve just had the baby. I’m alone at home sitting on the couch with a soft skinned baby relying on me for food, comfort, love and guidance. Even though I’ve read through stacks of parenting books and tried my best to observe and question seasoned parents suddenly I feel at a complete loss of what to do with this little life. And so now I’m sitting here, on the couch again, with a blank computer screen seeking to put words to paper trying to make this book the one of my dreams, the one I want to add to my own cookbook collection and the one you all will eagerly cook from. It feels awkward, thrilling and unbelievable.

I’ve been that awkward new mom with three babies and we’ve figured it out. We’re still figuring it out but the point is we’re doing it. And that’s just how this book will be. Bird by Bird, recipe by recipe, date by date. And around Valentine’s Day 2015 I’ll get to share this baby with the rest of the world. I can not wait for you to meet my book. In the meantime I’ll be here sharing recipes here as I always have. There will be more dates – different than the ones going in the book and there will be glimpses into this new world of writing a book as I’m fumbling through this process, figuring it out and fighting the doubt and celebrating the triumph. After all, this book will exist in great part because of you all, it seems appropriate then that you’d journey with me through it all.

Let’s do this.

A very hearty thank you to my agent Stacey Glick. Thank you for holding my hand, acting as counselor and already pushing this book to be bigger, greater and everything I want it to be.

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Ice Cream Cake with Candied Cocoa Nibs

It’s okay to admit that Dairy Queen is the inspiration for this dessert right? Their ice cream cakes remain to be one of my favorite desserts. I love it for its absence of cake, for the chewy hot fudge and crispy chocolate wafers in-between layers of creamy ice cream and as a kid I loved the magical printed images on the top (okay, I might still love that)  There’s nothing better - that is until I decided to make my own. I stopped shy of making my own ice cream, for that I used D’Ambrosia Gelato in Seattle (the best!). You can use 2 quarts of your favorite ice cream. 

It is definitely a cake worthy of a celebration. 

For the cake you’ll need the following recipes plus:

2 quarts ice cream (two flavors is ideal)

1 cup heavy cream, whipped to soft peaks

Chocolate Wafers

adapted from Alice Medrich

Of course one doesn’t need to bake their own chocolate wafers but there is something so satisfying as creaming butter and mixing in a few ingredients in your own kitchen only to come up with a flavor so reminiscent of childhood you’ll be reaching for a glass of milk and fighting the desire to lick the hydrogenated creamy center that’s not there. 

The ice cream cake only requires the use of half of the cookies I usually bake them all but if you’d rather you can freeze half of the dough for a later use. 

1 cup flour

1/2 cup cocoa powder

1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

6 tablespoons butter, soft

1/2 cup dark brown sugar

1/2 cup sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

3 tablespoons milk

Whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt in a bowl. Set that aside while you cream the butter and sugars together until light, about 4 minutes on medium speed or a couple more minutes more if you are mixing the dough by hand. Add the vanilla extract and milk to the creamed butter and sugars.

Slowly mix in the dry ingredients until just combined. Gather the wet dough and place on a piece of parchment paper. Roll the parchment paper up and work the dough into a rough 2” log. If you are using these cookies for the ice cream cake the shape really doesn’t matter as they are destined for crumbs but if you’d like to create a uniform log for perfectly formed round cookies refrigerate the dough for 10 minutes then reform the log and squeeze the ends to compress the dough into a perfect round. Continue this process until the log is uniform. If the shape isn’t a concern just chill until firm. About 45 minutes in the fridge or 20 minutes in the freezer.

Slice the roll of cookie dough into 1/4” discs and bake at 350*F for 12-15 minutes. You want them to be quite dry so they’ll hold their crunch when surrounded by ice cream. I fit the entire batch on two baking sheets, bake for 12 minutes then turn off the oven and leave the trays in for an additional 5 minutes. Just watch and smell them closely as you don’t want them to burn.

Let the cookies cool on the tray for 5 minutes before transferring to wire racks to cool completely.

Gather half of the cookies into a large ziplock bag and break up into small pieces.

Hot Fudge

adapted from Smitten Kitchen

If you have it use Lyle’s golden syrup here. It’s deeper in color and adds a lovely subtle caramel flavor to the hot fudge. That combined with a bit of salt, bittersweet chocolate and coffee this rich hot fudge attempts to play the starring role in this cake. 

1 cup heavy cream

1/3 cup golden syrup (or corn syrup)

1/3 cup dark brown sugar

1/4 cup cocoa powder

1 cup (6 ounces) bittersweet chocolate, chopped or use chips

2 tablespoons butter

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 teaspoon instant espresso powder

In a sauce pan combine the cream, syrup sugar and cocoa powder. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat and then let simmer for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the remaining ingredients. Once the chocolate and the butter have melted strain the entire mixture to ensure no pesky cocoa powder clumps remain.

Let cool to room temperature before assembling the cake. If you are making this in advance, refrigerate until ready to use then gently reheat on the stove or in a microwave until the hot fudge is pourable.

Will keep in the fridge for 2 weeks.

Candied Cocoa Nibs

“I wonder if you can candy cocoa nibs?” I recently asked a friend and then the rest was history. It turns out you can and you really should. With sugar and heat these bittersweet little crunchy chocolate bites turn into caramel-y, lightly sweetened, bittersweet chocolate bites. If you want more of a brittle texture add more sugar. I prefer to have the nibs just barely coated in caramel as I love the bitter, almost savory flavor they bring to the cake.

2-3 tablespoons sugar

1/4 cup cocoa nibs

course salt (like Maldon)

In a small, clean pan pour the sugar in an even layer across the bottom. Over medium-high heat melt the sugar, rotating the pan and gently stirring if the sugar is caramelizing unevenly. Once all is melted and the sugar is amber in color turn off the heat and immediately stir in the nibs.

Coat the cocoa nibs in the sugar then place on a parchment lined sheet tray, sprinkle a bit of salt on top.

Let the nibs cool completely then break into pieces.

Assembling the cake:

Line the bottom of a 8 or 9” springform pan with parchment paper (you only need the parchment paper if you are planning on removing the bottom of the springform pan, otherwise you can skip this step and serve it right on the base of the pan).

Add the first quart of softened ice cream to the bottom. Spread evenly with an off-set spatula.

Top that layer with half of the hot fudge and cookie crumbs.

Place the pan into the freezer for at least 30 minutes to set up.

Remove the pan from the freezer and add the second quart of softened ice cream over the cookie crumbs.

Top the ice cream with the remaining hot fudge.

Put the cake back into the freezer until you are ready to serve.

Un-mold the cake, taking off the base of the springform pan and parchment if you used it.

Top the cake with the whipped cream and candied cocoa nibs.

Serve immediately.

Keeps in the freezer for 1 week, although the cream on top turns icy but really no one complains about it.

“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you… I could walk through my garden forever.”

– Alfred Tennyson

And in this garden of mine we would picnic everyday, as we did the other night. There would always be stiff Manhattans in the flask, sweet strawberry cupcakes in hand and rich chocolate pudding capped with bourbon whipped cream.

You’d pick me a flower just as two more would pop up next to us.

I could live in this ever-growing garden always, as long as you were there with me.

Strawberry Cupcakes // Chocolate Pudding

Strawberry Cupcakes
adapted from Look, I made that
makes 16-18 cupcakes

Strawberries are definitely not in season here and yet I needed these cupcakes. I imagine the flavor to be much more strawberry-like if the berries are used were ruby red throughout. I’ll try again in June. But regardless we ate them happily. These we topped with brown sugar buttercream and while delicious we decided that lightly sweetened whipped cream and sliced berry on top would have been wonderful too.

2 1/4 cup flour
1/4 cup cornstarch
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/3 cup buttermilk
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1 tea vanilla extract
1/2 vanilla bean (optional)
4 ounces unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 large eggs, room temperature, beaten
1 cup pureed strawberries
1/2 teaspoon orange zest
1/4 tea rose water (optional)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line two cupcake pans with cupcake papers.
In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, cornstarch, baking soda, and salt. Set aside. In another medium bowl, combine the buttermilk, oil, and vanilla extract. Set aside.
Combine the vanilla seeds (if using), sugar and butter and beat until well combined. Add the eggs in a slow stream, beating well after each addition. Beat for 1 minute at medium speed. Gradually add the buttermilk mixture and beat for 1 minute at medium speed.
Reduce the speed to low and add the flour mixture. Mix until just combined. Stir in the pureed strawberries and the orange zest.
Spoon into the prepared cake pans and bake until the cupcakes spring back when touched lightly in the center, about 20-25 minutes. Cool slightly before removing from the pan.
Cool completely before frosting.

Brown Sugar Buttercream

4 large egg whites
1 cup packed dark brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

In a heatproof bowl set over (not in) a pan of simmering water, whisk together egg whites, sugar, and salt.

Cook, whisking constantly, until the sugar has dissolved and the mixture is warm to the touch.

Transfer to the clean bowl of an electric mixer. Beat on medium speed until fluffy and cooled, about 15 minutes.

Raise speed to high; beat until stiff peaks form. Reduce speed to medium-low; add butter, 2 to 3 tablespoons at a time, until fully incorporated. Add vanilla and whisk to combine.

Chocolate Pudding
Adapted from Smitten Kitchen
Serves 6
This really is the perfect classic pudding. The creamy texture is reminiscent of the boxed variety I remember and crave. And really, it's no more difficult to make. Unless you use the instant pack - that's way too easy and a little odd how it firms up so quickly. 
I used dark brown sugar instead of the white which added more richness and depth to the pudding but I imagine white is the more classic choice. I’ll leave it up to your pudding discretion.

1/4 cup cornstarch
1/2 cup sugar (see note)
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
3 cups whole milk
7 ounces chocolate, coarsely chopped (I used 60% chips)
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Combine the cornstarch, sugar and salt. Whisk well to remove any lumps.
In a large saucepan bring the milk to a boil to a simmer. Add the sugar and cornstarch mixture and whisk together for one minute, or until thick. Turn off the heat and add the chocolate. Whisk until the chocolate is melted and everything is well combined.
Transfer the pudding to a bowl, or individual bowls, and place wax paper or plastic wrap directly on the surface to prevent a skin from forming.
Refrigerated until cold and set.

Bourbon Whipped Cream

There's no recipe except to add as much bourbon as you think necessary to a bit of whipped cream. I added nearly 2 tablespoons to about 1 1/2 cups of already whipped cream.

There are days when the date night is another item on the to do list. We do it to continue the habit knowing that even in our exhaustion the time together is necessary. We never regret that time together because even in the most tired evenings, when it’s simply a cocktail and a 30 minute conversation, we are always glad that we had that time.

But then there are the times when I’m driving my son to school on Monday already dreaming of the menu for our date night on Thursday. When the thought of sauteing onions, sitting at a quiet table with my husband and talking about our hope for the new year seems about as close to perfection as I can imagine. Gabe and I have dated since I was 18 and yet there are still times when my stomach flutters as if it’s our first date. I’m grateful for those moments because they are the ones that sustain the not-so-fluttery moments.

He fed the kids a simple dinner while I poured us each a glass of red wine. At the store I had determined that the perfect appetizer for our date night meal of meatball sandwiches was Cool Ranch Doritos. He agreed and we both happily ate our chips and drank wine remarking out it was oddly not such a terrible pairing.

As Gabe tucked and re-tucked the kids into bed I mixed and formed the meatballs. They simmered in a bath of tomatoes while the food processor pureed a quick pesto – herby and bright with a punch of garlic so powerful that I’m sure the scent helped flavor our neighbor’s dinner.

“Smells great in here.” He said as he came down the stairs and grabbed another chip. I smiled proudly and continued with our dinner in between sips of wine.

While the sandwiches lounged in the oven snug in an aluminum foil blanket, giving them time for the cheese to melt and the bread to crisp, I threw together a simple salad. Ruffled leaves of butter lettuce, grapefruit with avocado and very little else.

Not much was said while we feasted on our sandwiches. I enjoyed the tomato-bathed meatballs fragrant with red wine and romano and happily feasted on the crisp, buttery, and bright salad but my satisfaction was in seeing my husband eating with great abandon. I fight the urge to sound like or even be this image of a 50’s era housewife or some sort of June Cleaver type woman who works tirelessly for the sake of her man, but golly did it ever feel good to love my husband through this meal. And I guess that too is part of love – when the joy of someone else becomes more valuable than your own.

For dessert a bit more wine and vulnerability in sharing our vision for the new year. I read him the draft of my last post and we talked about specific goals; some practical, others lofty. When the goals were as closely committed to stone as we could muster – a Sharpie on a large piece of white paper, we stacked the dishes in the sink for the next day, cozied up on the couch and watched more Homeland then we probably should have.

I soaked in the night that felt so easy and right. Without sounding too pessimistic I committed that feeling to memory knowing that its storage would serve useful on the hard days. This is how it is in a relationship. Some days things just come naturally. It’s not hard to remember why I said, “I do”. The days when his touch is electric, the sound of my name passing his lips makes me feel loved and I have nothing but joy and hope for our days ahead. And then there are the days where I have to work to catch those moments. Where I remember simple truths like: You can’t be healthy without eating well and a bit of exercise. You can’t be a writer without writing. And you can’t grow your marriage without some effort. Sometimes the effort feels like work or a sacrifice and then there are times when you make meatball sandwiches knowing how happy that will make him. You kiss him without thinking about it and you can think of nothing better than the rest of your life with him. Its these days that make the others worth working on.

Meatball Sandwich with Pesto Aioli // Grapefruit Avocado Salad

adapted from Tartine Bread

It’s quite possible I bought myself this book for Christmas and then had Gabe wrap it and put it under the tree for me. I did, however refrain from looking at it until I opened it Christmas morning which was when I spotted this sandwich that from the very first look, was destined to be a date night meal.

Pesto Aioli
makes about 1 cup pesto / 1 ½ cups aioli
The original recipe calls for ¼ cup garlic. While I love garlic I found it far too much. So here I’ve cut it back. Also, I decided to turn the spread into an aioli because I’m just weak for a creamy spread on indulgent sandwiches such as this one.

2 tablespoons finely chopped garlic
¼ cup chopped fresh flat leaf parsley
¼ cup chopped fresh basil
½ cup chopped arugula
¼ cup toasted almonds
3 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons finely grated Parmesan
1 teaspoon lemon zest
2 teaspoons lemon juice
salt and pepper
¼ - ½ cup mayonnaise

Combine everything except the mayonnaise in a food processor and process until a smooth paste is formed. Taste and adjust seasonings to your liking.
You could use it on the sandwich as just a pesto spread or, as we did, you could turn it into an aioli by adding some mayonnaise. Start with ¼ cup then taste and adjust if you’d like.
This can be made a few days in advance if well covered and refrigerated.

Meatballs
This recipe makes a lot of meatballs. For the sake of time and not wanting to eat meatballs everyday for a week I decided to freeze half the recipe. And now I’m already looking forward to a day when my dinner creativity is zapped and I can simply open the freezer for a quick meal.

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 large onion, chopped
1 pound ground beef
1 pound ground pork
4 large eggs
1 cup whole milk
1 cup grated Romano cheese
¼ cup red wine
2 cups bread crumbs
1 bunch flat leaf parsley, stems removed and the leaves chopped
2 teaspoons kosher salt
½ teaspoon pepper
pinch red pepper flakes

Tomato Sauce

3 garlic cloves, minced
1 can (28 oz) chopped tomatoes

soft ciabatta bread - or any other type you’d like to use
sliced provolone

In a large skillet over medium heat add the oil and the onions and cook until transluscent and just beginning to brown, about 15 minutes. Let the onions cool.
In a large bowl combine the remainder of the ingredients with the cooled onions. Mix everything well using your hands as they are the best tool in the kitchen. The mixture is quite wet.
Shape the mixture into roughly apricot size meatballs.
Heat a large skillet with a bit more oil. Sear the meatballs on all sides working in batches as to not overcrowd the pan. Transfer the seared meatballs to a plate and continue to work in this way until all the meatballs have been seared.
Drain the fat from the skillet then return the pan to the stove over medium heat. Add the garlic and saute for two minutes. Add the tomatoes and with a wooden spoon scrape up any dark bits that cling to the bottom of the pan. Bring the tomatoes to a boil then reduce the heat to low. Return the meatballs to the pan and simmer for 20 minutes.
Preheat the oven to 350*F. Spread half of the bread with the pesto aioli then place a few meatballs along with a bit of sauce on the other half. Top the meatballs with a slice of provolone. Wrap the sandwich in aluminum then place in the oven for about 15 minutes until the cheese has melted and the bread is crisp. Let stand before eating as the sandwich will be very hot.

Grapefruit and Avocado Salad
adapted from Canal House Cooks Every Day

serves 2
There was a time when I thought salads were their best in the Summer but Winter, you’re winning me over with salads like this one. Also, I’d like to add that I’m hereby requesting to be an honorary member of the Canal House cooks. Maybe they’d let me do their dishes? This book also came to me by way of Christmas (although I didn’t buy it myself) and so far I couldn’t recommend it enough.

1 ruby red grapefruit
1 tablespoon champagne vinegar
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 pinch chile flakes
1 avocado, peeled and quartered
1 head butter lettuce
2 tablespoons chopped fresh chives

Remove the ends of the grapefruit with a sharp paring knife. Follow the curve of the fruit with the knife and slice off the peel and white pith exposing the flesh. Over a bowl, hold the grapefruit in one hand and cut out each segment by running the knife down both sides of the membrane. Let the segments drop into the bowl along with the juice. Add to the bowl the vinegar, chile flakes and olive oil. Season with salt and pepper. Taste.
On a platter arrange the butter lettuce and avocado. Drizzle the dressing and the grapefruit over the top. Dust the chives over it all. Serve immediately.

Dating as young, broke college students forced Gabe and I to be creative with our date nights. The truth is we didn’t see this as much of a limitation, we were just happy together. Our homework was done together, every meal in our college cafeteria was eaten together and we did a whole lot of nothing, together.

After a particularly hard final or just because we felt as if we needed it, Gabe and I would lavish ourselves with junk food and junk movies. These evenings happened more regularly than recommended but we always looked forward to them. You’ll cringe when I tell you the menu but like most meals, what matters most is who was there when you shared it.
Frozen pizza and Salsitas with side of Ben and Jerry’s.

At the end of the evening we would reluctantly say a sweet goodbye then saunter off each to our own dorm rooms, most likely feeling a bit ill from dinner and already eager to see one another again.

On the nights when we wouldn’t overindulge in junk food we spent hours in the upper lounge of our dorm where we would cozy into plush, purple faux leather chairs and talk, mostly nonsense. When the words ran out we grabbed blank sheets of paper and began doodling. We created intricate worlds with fat, goofy looking cows; their necks a single line, bodies plump and speckled with black squiggly spots.

I loved watching Gabe draw. While I, the art major, focused on realism, he showed that it’s okay not to take yourself too seriously. His drawings of cows continue to make me laugh. I asked him to draw one for you – ridiculous right?!

For our date night last week I was feeling particularly tired and could not will myself to pull together a nice meal for just the two of us. But dessert I could handle. It was as if the memory of our early dating days surfaced as I sent Gabe to the store for Cool Ranch Doritios while I made us an Eton Mess in which I simmered tart dried cherries in a hearty red wine along with cardamom, vanilla bean and a bit of sugar. The cherries looked plump like the cows in Gabe’s drawings as they soaked up the wine and made a syrup of what liquid remained.

Earlier in the day the kids and I crafted with meringue. I made snowflakes and they did some doodling of their own with the piping bag in the form of squiggles that intended to be stars.

While the cherries cooled and the kids slept quietly in bed I whipped up some lightly sweetened cream. Some of the meringue doodles became crumbs for the sake of our dessert and were layered in between the sweet drunken cherries, cream and bittersweet chocolate that was roughly chopped.

The Eton Mess resembled nothing of the desserts we would indulge in on those junk food nights but the zesty chips, snuggling on the couch and doodling we did on the iPad made it feel like a date – one in which we were very familiar with.

This time our drawings had purpose as we are working on a coloring book for the kids for a Christmas present. I may have envisioned an evening like this as a giddy, young college girl dating a handsome, young college boy. As you do, I imagined our lives together, hoping my future involved Gabe. But this reality is so much sweeter than any girlish vision. I’m so much happier now, eating Eton Mess with a side of chips drawing pictures for our three children – than I ever could have dreamed.

Eton Mess

serves 4

Eton Mess is a classic English dessert usually consisting of strawberries, cream and meringue. I’ve taken a few liberties with my version; using dried cherries, adding wine and dark chocolate.
I’m often the harshest critic of my own food. Often you won’t see me utterly gushing over a recipe I created as I’ve often found a minute flaw but this one, oh this one is damn good. This dessert shut the critic up so I was able to enjoy each bite. The ones in which a good portion of every layer cozied up on the spoon along with a large chunk of bittersweet chocolate - those were my favorite.
There are several components here but they could all be made in advance, just hold off on the final assembly until you are ready to eat.

Stewed Cherries

1 cup dried tart cherries
3 cardamom pods
cinnamon
nutmeg
¼ cup sugar
1 cup wine
1 spent vanilla bean (The meringue calls for a vanilla bean, save that one and use here).

Combine everything in a saucepan and bring to a simmer. Over low heat simmer until the wine is reduced down and is nearly like syrup. Let cool completely.

Cherries can be made one week in advance. Cover well and store in the fridge.

Meringue Snowflakes
adapted from marthastewart.com

If it's just meringue you are after I love making these with a bit of peppermint extract. Topped with some crushed candy canes or dipped in chocolate after baking - they make a fine holiday hostess gift.

½ cup egg whites (from about 4 large eggs)
1 ¼ cups sugar
¼ teaspoon cream of tartar
pinch salt
1 vanilla bean

In the bowl of a stand mixer add the egg whites and sugar. Place the bowl over a medium size pot filled with simmering water. Whisk continuously until the sugar is dissolved and the egg whites are warm.
Place the bowl on the stand mixer. Add the cream of tartar. Start the mixer on low then gradually increase to high. Continue to whip until stiff glossy peaks appear – about 10 minutes. Add the salt and vanilla bean. Mix to combine.

To pipe the snowflakes I drew a rough pattern on the back of a piece of parchment using a permanent marker. Flip the parchment over so the drawing is on the back side and place on a baking sheet. Use a small round tip (about ¼”). Place the pastry tip in a large piping bag. Fold the bag down about three inches then fill with meringue - don’t fill to the top as this will create quite a mess. Fold the bag up, twist the top and use your left hand to guide the tip while the right hand rests just under the twist in the bag and gently applies pressure (if you are left handed simply switch the hand placement. Pipe the snowflake onto the parchment following the pattern you drew.

Bake meringue in a 275*F oven for about an hour, or until the meringue is completely dry. If the meringue starts to color, turn down your oven. Or turn it off and let the residual heat dry the meringue.

For the Eton Mess you will just need 1 cup of meringue crumbles so you don’t need to pipe snowflakes for that. I let my kids have fun with the piping bag on a baking sheet lined with parchment then used some of their creations for the Mess.

Meringues can be stored in an airtight container for two weeks. If they get soft you can redry in the oven.

Assembling the Mess

2 cups cream
2 Tbl sugar
1 cup meringue crumbles
1 cup chocolate, roughly chopped (I like a mix of shavings and big chunks)
Stewed cherries (recipe above)
Whip the cream with 2 tablespoons sugar until soft peaks form.
Traditionally Eton Mess is just that - a mess. All the components are combined then spooned into a serving dish. Here I combined elements of two classic British desserts as I layered mine more like a Trifle. I like seeing the vibrant wine hued cherries contrast against the meringue and cream. You can combine it all however you wish.
I started with the lightly sweet cream then added some meringue crumbles, on top of that cherries then bits of chocolate. A snowflake meringue capped it off.
All the components can be made in advance but I recommend assembling just before serving as the meringue will get soft as it sits.

Along a winding road sharing its edge with a muttering river to one side and towering trees at the peak of their lush summer coat on the other, Gabe and I listened to a booming voice read John Steinbeck’s, “Travels with Charley”. Steinbeck’s words fit our scenery as he, along with his dog, Charley, tightly packed a trailer named Rocinante and drove similar roads all across America. His desire was to connect with the land and the people that he so often wrote about. The book is filled with Steinbeck’s illustrative prose and bits of wisdom that he slips in without pause.

“Once a journey is designed, equipped, and put in process, a new factor enters and takes over. A trip, a safari, an exploration, is an entity, different from all other journeys. It has personality, temperament, individuality, uniqueness. A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us. Tour masters, schedules, reservations, brass-bound and inevitable, dash themselves to wreckage on the personality of the trip. Only when this is recognized can the blown-in-the glass bum relax and go along with it. Only then do the frustrations fall away. In this a journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.”

– John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley in Search of America

With the mention of marriage this quote caught my attention but at first I stubbornly disagreed. You can control marriage, I thought with clinched shoulders and great conviction. You and your partner can determine to fight through the struggles, turn to one another to celebrate the joys and persevere in the day to day connecting in it all. In marriage you do have control over how you utilize your time and how much you are willing to work to make the relationship a healthy and thriving one. But as I later re-read his words I realized that my natural instinct is to think I can control a lot more than I really do.

.

Life is simply uncontrollable. I have little power over tragedies, disappointments and bumps that inevitably mark the course of our timeline. I fret and lie in a pool of anxiety that I foolishly and unnecessarily build for myself. For what? What control do I have except to control my response to the path laid out for me? I can’t control the big picture and oh my word, thank goodness for that. Realizing this feels as freeing as removing a heavy pack after a long and arduous journey. Relief.

In marriage, Gabe and I signed up to be fellow travelers in this journey that we can not control. We work together to plan what we can, dream of possibilities and determine what we feel is best for our little family. But even if those things never become a reality, even if our “plan” is completely derailed and life puts us on a different route we are committed to traveling through it all together. Knowing his commitment to me and mine to him we are free to enjoy our journey and work together to deal with what life brings us.

We’ve come to the point in our journey where traveling without one another doesn’t feel right – figuratively and literally. A couple weeks ago I spent a few days in Wisconsin visiting dairies and cheese makers and seeing first-hand the pride Wisconsin has for their cheese. I returned vowing to stay off cheese for a few days as I had had more than my share. The plan was to stick to greens but within hours I was at the store buying cheese. In an attempt to share my trip with Gabe I came home with an aged, nutty, Gruyere-like cheese, a pungent blue and a creamy, mild semi-soft cheese.

Over a plate of charred vegetables slathered in smoky Romesco we settled back into our routine. He heard about my week and I his while ripping into a still steaming parchment pouch revealing a mild and flaky fish. With radiating wisps of lemon and herbs we dipped our forkfuls of fish into that same smoky sauce as conversation weaved between approving nods and appreciation for our dinner and the time together.

By the time dessert was served our exhaustion led us to the couch where we turned on a movie, enjoying the simplicity of being together while dipping our spoons into cool mascarpone whose edges submitted to the puddle of warm caramel. We shared the same bowl taking in a spoonful of the rich and sweet sauce in between bites of tart apple.

These dinners we can control. We can mark this time for us and fight against apathy and exhaustion carving out time in our day for one another. Making these decisions in the times we do have control makes us stronger to battle what we can’t control. For as long as this life allows we will travel together.

Cheese Plate

*I was sent to Wisconsin by the Wisconsin Milk Marketing Board. The idea to put together this cheese plate not even a day after returning home from four days of eating cheese was purely my own. My opinons are also my own.
Pleasant Ridge Reserve
Emmi Roth Buttermilk Blue
Crave Brother’s Petit Freres
toasted almonds
Quince and Apple’s Fig and Black Tea Preserve

Romesco // Whole Roasted Fish with Lemon and Parsley // Caramel with Mascarpone

Romesco
adapted from The NY Times

1 dried ancho chile

4 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

¼ cup raw almonds

2 tablespoons hazelnuts or additional almonds

1 cup small cubes of stale sourdough bread

4 cloves garlic, peeled and sliced

2 jarred piquillo peppers, drained and chopped

1 medium ripe tomato, peeled, seeded and chopped (about 2/3 cup)

½ cup water

1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

1 tablespoon sherry vinegar

1/2 - 1 teaspoon smoked Spanish paprika, sweet or hot, or to taste

salt
Place the dried chile in a bowl and cover with boiling water, weighing it down with a plate to keep it submerged. Set aside for 30 minutes.
Heat oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add the almonds, hazelnuts and bread cubes and stir until they start to brown, 6 to 8 minutes. Add the garlic, and stir until lightly browned. Add the piquillo peppers. Remove from heat.
Drain the chile, and remove stem and seeds. Chop the chile, add it to the pan, heat and stir briefly. Add the tomato, stir and cook a minute or so until softened. Remove from heat.
Transfer to a food processor or a blender and pulse until a rough paste is formed. With the machine running, slowly pour in the water. Turn off the machine, add vinegar, lemon juice, paprika and salt, to taste, then pulse briefly to blend. You want the finished sauce to hold onto a bit of texture. If needed, you can pulse in a bit more water or olive oil.

Whole Roasted Fish with Lemon and Parsley

Beyond that recipe title there is little else I need to tell you about the preparation of this fish. I had the fish cleaned at the store then added lemon slices, salt, parsley and pepper to both the inside and outside of the fish. A couple good swaths of olive oil were poured over the top then the fish was wrapped in two layers of parchment, placed on a baking sheet and went into a 400°F oven until the internal temperature reached 135°F, which took about 25 minutes.

Caramel with Mascarpone

½ cup sugar

½ cup whole milk, warmed

¼ cup mascarpone (plus more for serving)

salt

In a medium saucepan add the sugar and turn the heat to medium high. The sugar will slowly begin to melt and caramelize. Use a clean spoon or spatula to move the sugar around to evenly caramelize. Once all the sugar has melted and the caramel is the color of deep copper turn off the heat and carefully pour in the warm milk. Please be so careful at this point as the caramel will bubble up vigorously. Stir to combine then add the mascarpone. If the caramel has seized simply turn the heat back on until the caramel melts into the milk. Add a pinch of salt.
Pour about ¼ cup of warm caramel into a small bowl or dish that has a scoop of mascarpone on the bottom. Serve immediately. Encourage your diners to dip their spoon into the mascarpone then into the caramel getting a balance of both tastes on the spoon. Serve with fresh apple slices.

We were driving home late Saturday night from Portland, having just finished our week long road trip in Oregon and relished in the quiet as the kidlets slept in the back of the van.

“Did you have fun?” I asked Gabe. Which seems such a simple question and one that I probably should have asked along the way rather than waiting until we were driving home. I sort of feared his response. I had had a great time but it wasn’t until I thought to ask him that I realized I really had no idea how he was going to respond.

“I did.” He said.

Relief.

“I just don’t feel like we connected at all.” He finished.

Instantly defensiveness flooded through me and I really had no idea why. Perhaps I felt responsible for this trip and everyone’s enjoyment of it.
“Well, what did you expect? We were with three kids for the week. We never had a moment to ourselves.” I responded with a tone that simmered with frustration. If the person I love most in the world was discontent then suddenly my satisfaction was not so.

I had to stop a moment to see the kindness in his comment. It’s not that he didn’t have a great time – he assured me he did – he simply wanted to enjoy it with me. We missed the opportunity to connect and really share the experience together.

My focus was on surviving. This was the first time we had done a trip like this. I had visions of hours of shrills and shrieks in the car with nowhere to run. When that didn’t happen I was relieved. I had no idea how the kids would react to the mostly adult-focused events so when they enjoyed themselves AND we enjoyed ourselves it felt a great triumph.

At the end of the day I sighed a deep breath of relief. We survived the day. Then I went directly into planning the next day trying to make that one a success too.

I didn’t expect this trip to be one where Gabe and I would really connect and grow together. We’d find another time to do that.

This trip isn’t unlike how I’ve come to exist while raising three young kids. Each day, to some extent, feels like a victory when we’ve all made it. The kids are tucked in at the end of the day, the house is finally quiet – a success. Then it’s time to gear up for the next day.

Where will our marriage be with expectations like that? When will I make the time if I’m content with our misconnections. It’s not enough for me just to survive, I want us to thrive. I’ve always thought that and meant it. I can’t go long in our marriage with feeling as if Gabe and I are simply roommates and not teammates. That’s why it was so convicting when I realized that somehow I had become content with just surviving. Somehow I had decided that surviving was a success but in the case of marriage that’s a lie. Well, I suppose one could maintain a marriage by simply surviving but that’s never been enough me. It’s not what we want to model to our children and it’s not what we want for ourselves.

I’m so thankful for a husband to remind me to strive for more. And that he too desires connection. It’s a gift I can easily take for granted.
I can’t fix those misconnections from the trip but I can strive to not make that mistake again.

We gave ourselves a day to settle back into life at home. Then we pushed up our usual date night a couple days not wanting another minute to pass before we made intentional time to connect. We also pushed back our “post-vacation healthy eating plan” as I prepared Cider glazed pork chop using the cider we picked up in Oregon. There were pan-fried potatoes tossed in a bright, seedy mustard and sauteed spinach with plump golden raisins and walnuts.

That was all well and fine but it was the cocktail and dessert that stood out that evening.

Using my newly aquired Pear eau-de vie I made us a Pear sidecar. I proudly dotted the top of our cocktail with my own homemade bitters specifically crafted with this pear brandy in mind. I had made the bitters while in Portland taking a class from Mark Bitterman, which was part of Feast Portland. In class Mark had over 30 infusions available to us to create our own bitters. With prominent flavors of cinnamon, rosemary, juniper the bitters was a perfect match for the pear cocktail. A garnish of fresh rosemary helped to pull out the fragrant bitters.

For dessert a simple crisp was quickly thrown together using a few random ingredients I found in the cupboard. Sort of unintentionally it was made gluten-free with oats, almond meal, chopped hazelnuts and raw sugar. There was quite a bit of butter as it was for dessert after all and Gabe is right – it really is best with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

We shared it straight from the pan it was baked in, which to me is the perfect way to end the meal.

At the end of the date I mourned the missed opportunities for connecting with my husband during our trip but more importantly I celebrated our efforts to not let another day pass without sitting down together and lingering over a nice meal with the purpose of just being together. It’s so easy to make excuses and to put off our relationship but I also know that when we do put forth the effort we are rewarded with deeper intimacy and a thriving relationship that makes these busy and exhausting days so much more joyful. My husband not a mere roommate, he is my teammate, my best friend and my partner in whatever this life holds for us.

Pear Sidecar // Apple Crisp

Pear Sidecar
adapted from oregonlive.com 
serves 1
2 oz Pear eau de vie
1 oz Cointreau
¾ oz fresh lemon juice
bitters (optional)

Combine the pear eau de vie, Cointreau and lemon juice and shake with ice. Pour into a martini glass or if you’re like us and don’t like to drink out of martini glasses a highball would do just fine. Add a few drops of bitters if desired and garnish with a sprig of rosemary. You can sugar the rim to add a touch more sweetness if you’d like.

Apple Crisp

I've been having great fun playing around with different grains and nut flours lately. This is a result of that. This crisp came together so quickly yet held a earthy, deep flavor that hid the ease of preparation. Feel free to play around with this simple recipe - add different spices, change up the nuts just as long as you agree to eat it straight from the pan with a loved one.

2 lbs apples peeled and roughly sliced
½ cup oats
¾ cup almond meal
¼ cup Turbinado sugar (raw sugar, regular sugar works fine too)
½ teaspoon kosher salt
½ teaspoon cinnamon
¼ cup chopped hazelnuts
5 Tablespoons butter, melted
pinch nutmeg
Place the apples in a baking dish (8” works well here). In a bowl combine the remaining ingredients until well mixed. Add this mixture to the top of the apples and bake in a 375* oven until the top is deep golden and the apple juices are bubbling, about 45 - 60 minutes.
Let cool slightly then serve with vanilla ice cream.

We were so young when we married. Wise enough to choose to spend the rest of our lives together but yet too young to know who we were. While that route may not be for everyone I am so glad that Gabe and I have grown up together.

I wasn’t into food when we met (which seems unimaginable to us now). In fact I was pursuing a career in medicine – a very short lived pursuit that eventually turned into an art degree with a teaching certification. Gabe was studying communication, looking ridiculously handsome in his navy peacoat, taking photos whenever he had the chance and not drinking coffee.

Twelve years later he’s drinking coffee, brewing it with over a half dozen methods, roasting his own beans and staying up till nearly dawn to clean and repair our burr grinder. He’s changed (although he still is quite handsome, more so I’d say).

In marriage it’s not an agreement to do life with the person they are on your wedding day, it’s a decision to marry who they are then, who they are now and who they will be. It is a commitment to love them through their growth and support their changes. Even if you marry at 40 you’re not going to be the same person at 60. Life has a way of shaping, refining and changing us. The hope is that you find someone who will continue to be at your side through it all.

My once coffee-loathing husband anticipated the opportunity for us to steal a moment alone on the beach during our recent vacation. He envisioned us lingering over a great cup of coffee while the gentle waves lapped at our feet.

So with the proper equipment in hand and a mug of boiling water we set out towards the still beach once the kids had been quieted. I marveled at the scene. Who is this man who will now go through such lengths to have us enjoy great coffee in such a desolate (and quite romantic, mind you) setting? He’s my husband, whom I love more than when he didn’t drink coffee.

I realize coffee is a petty change in the vast ocean of changes that have occurred in either of us through these years but for me it stands in as a sort of symbol for the other ones – the much greater ones. As with the other changes I’ve loved watching this passion for coffee evolve. I’ve cherished the moments that I can support him in this growing interest and if it one day fades or grows even further, I’ll love him still. Probably more so, as hard as that is to imagine.

If any of you are interested here is a list of equipment needed if you too would like great coffee on the beach, in the woods – or anywhere for that matter.
Brewing system: Mypressi Twist – great espresso from a hand held machine. It uses Co2 cartridges.

Beans: Coava Kyochere – Portland, OR (I’ve mentioned Coava before – we’re fans)

Water carrying vessel and drinking cup : Stanley Outdoor Mug With Clip Grip

Grinder: Hario Coffee Hand Grinder Skerton
Thanks so much to Boone for joining us on our coffee date for the sake of taking many of these stunning images of the two of us.